Cars you hate

[mattyq]

You need help, mate

[Tocky Mo]

Those are all brilliant examples - especially the hideous 'Rodius'. But the Vauxhall family takes some beating for total lack of design concept. A GM failing. Especially the Nova/Corsa strain. Driven by daft girls and bald midgets who dream of owning Audis (especially A4 Convertibles). Peugeot 206/207 is close to that mark too.

[odris]

I have a 207 you bell, we can't all drive around in Mercades etc.

[dirty_sanchez]

Although the new Astra VXR is a bit mental.

[Jennings]

...

 

Could be worse, though. Another mates dad had an Austin Maxi.

....

 

Hehe...My mate Corty had a Maxi. I used to take the piss out of him mercilessly for it. He kinda liked the critical attention it brought him tbh.

 

He used to park it down the side of his house next to the bins. It looked at home next to bins. It was silver the same colour as the bins, only in worse condition and had more rubbish in it.

 

We went in it to Hull one day to visit a mate at Uni. It broke down on the pennines. He said "Jennings you're an Engineer. Go see whats wrong.". So I got out of the freezing cold car into the nice warm snow. I checked the oil - because actually I was a computer engineer, but I thought I better try to help. Not knowing what the oil should look like, I fiddled with some cables and told him to try again but drive a little faster. It seemed like good advice at the time.

 

We got going again. Strangley the car started immediately. Everyne heaped praise on me for fixing it - which I lapped up.

 

He was definitely driving faster now. Faster and faster. The revs got to about 8000RPM and still increasing. The Maxi was now travelling at a breakneck 57 miles per hour, faster than it had ever gone before - and accelerating. Corty burst out laughing, took his feet off the peddles. The car was still accelerating furiously. The accelerator peddle just flapped limply" "Look no hands" he shouted still howling with laughter, as the car got faster and faster.

 

"We are going to die." I said.

"No, it's ok. I'll turn the engine off."

"But we are in the outside lane of the motorway. That may not be sensible."

"it's OK it will slow down gracefully. No worries."

 

Just as he turned the key to OFF, I tried to say "No! That is not sensible. The steering lock will engage and our lives and the lives of other road users may be unnecessarily risked." However it came out as "OhFuckNo!!".

 

Fortunately the steering lock didn't engage and the car rolled down the hill, off a slip road and came to a perfect stop in a services of some description.

 

Somehow we got it going again. And made it to hull.

 

Hull was closed due to lack of interest. And I though Ellesmere Port was bad!

 

Wow that took some time to post...I didn't think it would. Apologies if you read this far.

[mattyq]

No need to apologise. It was very amusing. Repped

[Cath]

I was taken to school in one of these

I loathed it.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Hehe...My mate Corty had a Maxi. I used to take the piss out of him mercilessly for it. He kinda liked the critical attention it brought him tbh.

 

He used to park it down the side of his house next to the bins. It looked at home next to bins. It was silver the same colour as the bins, only in worse condition and had more rubbish in it.

 

We went in it to Hull one day to visit a mate at Uni. It broke down on the pennines. He said "Jennings you're an Engineer. Go see whats wrong.". So I got out of the freezing cold car into the nice warm snow. I checked the oil - because actually I was a computer engineer, but I thought I better try to help. Not knowing what the oil should look like, I fiddled with some cables and told him to try again but drive a little faster. It seemed like good advice at the time.

 

We got going again. Strangley the car started immediately. Everyne heaped praise on me for fixing it - which I lapped up.

 

He was definitely driving faster now. Faster and faster. The revs got to about 8000RPM and still increasing. The Maxi was now travelling at a breakneck 57 miles per hour, faster than it had ever gone before - and accelerating. Corty burst out laughing, took his feet off the peddles. The car was still accelerating furiously. The accelerator peddle just flapped limply" "Look no hands" he shouted still howling with laughter, as the car got faster and faster.

 

"We are going to die." I said.

"No, it's ok. I'll turn the engine off."

"But we are in the outside lane of the motorway. That may not be sensible."

"it's OK it will slow down gracefully. No worries."

 

Just as he turned the key to OFF, I tried to say "No! That is not sensible. The steering lock will engage and our lives and the lives of other road users may be unnecessarily risked." However it came out as "OhFuckNo!!".

 

Fortunately the steering lock didn't engage and the car rolled down the hill, off a slip road and came to a perfect stop in a services of some description.

 

Somehow we got it going again. And made it to hull.

 

Hull was closed due to lack of interest. And I though Ellesmere Port was bad!

 

Wow that took some time to post...I didn't think it would. Apologies if you read this far.

 

My MG used to have that 'feature'. I called it cruise control, the accelerator pedal would stick down and I could take my foot off and relax. When I needed to slow down I'd poke my toe behind the pedal and lift it up.

[Malarkey]

Those are all brilliant examples - especially the hideous 'Rodius'. But the Vauxhall family takes some beating for total lack of design concept. A GM failing. Especially the Nova/Corsa strain. Driven by daft girls and bald midgets who dream of owning Audis (especially A4 Convertibles). Peugeot 206/207 is close to that mark too.

 

I have a 207 you bell, we can't all drive around in Mercades etc.

 

You cheeeeky bastard.

[Newport]

I don't hate any cars, but I don't see the point about the Porsche Cayenne. A Porsche isn't supposed to like like that ffs!

[RJ Fan club]

On 27/02/2009 at 22:39, Stouffer said:

Sherman Tank

 

http://www.caravanclub.co.uk/NR/rdonlyres/9F3B2139-8D7E-4A67-A458-DCAA5B71EE64/0/VauxhallVectra.jpg

 

Subaru Bellend

 

http://www.channel4.com/4car/media/100-greatest/03-large/106-subaru-impreza.jpg

 

Driven by cunts.

 

http://www.quadconversions.com/images/vauxhall/vauxhall%20nova%20side%20skirts%20abs.jpg

@Stouffer saw this today at my gym car park which is shared with Halfords, Hombre.

 

Worra cock?

 

 

[redinblack]

On 30/04/2009 at 13:20, Cath said:

I was taken to school in one of these

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/30/Austin_Allegro_Brown_4.JPG

I loathed it.

I had a red one of those, an S reg one it wasnt glamorous but it never missed a beat, and I got the 500 quid back that I bought it for when I sold it after 3 years.

[Bobby Hundreds]

I'm not into cars at all as soon as the missus was told she will be working from home permanently I sold mine the next week and just use hers. One car design I dont like at all though is the Alpha Romeo can't stand the shape of the front grill on them, I think BMW have fucked up with their new grills they are overboard. Fiat Multipla and the Nissan Juke are two damn ugly cars.

[dockers_strike]

Anything fucking Tesla. Dont have a problem with EV technology at all, if I was still earning, Id probably have an EV now.

 

The VW id5, Cupra Born and even the MG EV4 look interesting But Teslas are boring as fuck to look at and that fucking portrait tablet is, in my humble opinion, one of the most distracting things ever to be put in a car. Musk and his fanboys and girls are another reason not to like the product!

[Mike D]

Good fun to watch.

 

 

[Trumo]

Without question, the 1990s Nissan Micra. No matter your experience, these things can only be driven like you are a learner on their first day.

 

 

[Harry's Lad]

The Mini Metro.

 

It was always some old fucker driving one at 25 mph in a 40 and couldn't get past. 

Those and the Austin Allegro estate which wasn't just ugly but absolute shite.

Here's the Vanden Plas version in dogshit brown just to emphasise it's naffness.. 

 

 

[VladimirIlyich]

46 minutes ago, Trumo said:

Without question, the 1990s Nissan Micra. No matter your experience, these things can only be driven like you are a learner on their first day.

 

 

I passed my test in one of those back in '86. The older ones were much better than the modern ones,and they were pretty shit too.

[VladimirIlyich]

27 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

The Mini Metro.

 

It was always some old fucker driving one at 25 mph in a 40 and couldn't get past. 

Those and the Austin Allegro estate which wasn't just ugly but absolute shite.

Here's the Vanden Plas version in dogshit brown just to emphasise it's naffness.. 

 

 

I just see 'rust buckets' when I look at those.

[Harry's Lad]

33 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I just see 'rust buckets' when I look at those.

British Leyland built some shite. 

The Allegro, Metro, Marina, Maxi, Princess, Maestro, Montego, all awful.

 

My dad bought a Rover SD1 2.3 in the mid 80's which used to blow head gaskets for fun and a Maestro after that which was fucking terrible, anything that could go wrong did.

Dreadful cars.

 

[manwiththestick]

1 hour ago, Harry's Lad said:

The Mini Metro.

 

It was always some old fucker driving one at 25 mph in a 40 and couldn't get past. 

Those and the Austin Allegro estate which wasn't just ugly but absolute shite.

Here's the Vanden Plas version in dogshit brown just to emphasise it's naffness.. 

 

 

My mum had the newer  automatic version of the Metro in the mid to late 90's, only car she ever bought from new, after previously having an automatic 3ltr Scorpio so it was quite the change. 

 

It was by far the shittest car I have ever driven, tinny and basic as fuck and an utter deathtrap to the point I'd fancy my chances of survival oin a crash if I was driving a mobility scooter. Two or three years after buying it the wheel arches were bubbling.

 

Awful.

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

1 hour ago, Harry's Lad said:

The Mini Metro.

 

It was always some old fucker driving one at 25 mph in a 40 and couldn't get past. 

Those and the Austin Allegro estate which wasn't just ugly but absolute shite.

Here's the Vanden Plas version in dogshit brown just to emphasise it's naffness.. 

 

 

My dad had a blue Allegro estate which he changed from automatic to manual transmission. I swear it only did about 10 miles to the gallon but it did have velvet seats.

[redinblack]

1 hour ago, Harry's Lad said:

The Mini Metro.

 

It was always some old fucker driving one at 25 mph in a 40 and couldn't get past. 

Those and the Austin Allegro estate which wasn't just ugly but absolute shite.

Here's the Vanden Plas version in dogshit brown just to emphasise it's naffness.. 

 

 

I passed my driving test at the 3rd attempt in an MG Metro. I'm surprised it survived my quite frankly catastrophic gear changing but it did. I drive an auto now and have done for sometime, but it does make me think of the pistons trying to punch their way out of the bonnet when I fluffed the gear/gas/clutch conundrum. As I often did.

[Harry's Lad]

6 minutes ago, redinblack said:

I passed my driving test at the 3rd attempt in an MG Metro. I'm surprised it survived my quite frankly catastrophic gear changing but it did. I drive an auto now and have done for sometime, but it does make me think of the pistons trying to punch their way out of the bonnet when I fluffed the gear/gas/clutch conundrum. As I often did.

I passed in a E reg Micra. 1st time but I'd been driving for years beforehand plus I used to do a lot of cycling. Had a few motorbikes as well.

You learn road sense and how to read the road very quickly on 2 wheels.

 

[Stouffer]

3 hours ago, RJ Fan club said:

@Stouffer saw this today at my gym car park which is shared with Halfords, Hombre.

 

Worra cock?

 

 

Christ, what a fuckin Subaru bellend.