Interviews.

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

Went for an interview today behind my employer's back and fear that i may have ballsed up a little.

The interview went well and i answered every question with the answer that the manager wanted to hear.

At the end there was the obligatory "Do you have any questions to ask me?"

I responded thus:

"The role i'm applying for is the assistant managers role, why is the current assistant manager not present?"

To which she replied "He's leaving soon and theres no point him being present"

I replied "Has he ever been present during the interview stage to gain some experience?"

He replied "Errrr not i can recall"

 

I nearly imploded at that point thinking...no wonder the guy has quit if you dont feckin trust him or want him to gain new skills.

 

I bit my lip and im sure the job is mine but cant help but think that most interviewers/managers/pricks are shit.

 

Worst interview i've had was when i lived in Swindon and applied for a job with an american company called "Tyco" who dealt in war-machine parts. The interview was Ok till they asked me to build a clown out of lego bricks, at that point i walked out. The money they threw down was good, the benefits were good and the people were nice, but build a clown to get a job you must be joking.

 

Whats the worst/best interview you've had?

[RedKnight]

That sounds awesome.

[Captain]

I had an interview today. It did not go well.

 

The chances of me landing that job are pretty fucking slim, to put it mildly.

[grazywalker]

I am good at the interviews but give me an in tray exercise or verbal reasoning test and I will fuck it up without even trying

[Guest simon]

Every interview I do now is. Allot of jobs give my a little math's test so I know I have failed straight away. Not to mention I am unable to write.

[JBarnes]

I reckon I can get the job if I can get an interview. Don't know why but I always seem to get on great with the interviewer. Suppose it helps that there aren't a great number of engineers doing the rounds these days and there are still a few jobs knocking about so the competition probably isn't the best.

[robbief]

i once had an interview in QVC that was a bit weird. i didn't really need a job but i fancied a bit of pocket money so went down and applied at one of thos mass take on days.

 

the 3 mates i went with got phone calls saying they hadn't been accepted and i heard nothing. a week or so later i got a letter inviting me down for an interview.

 

i turned up and the interviewer said 'remember, this isn't about us trying to suss you out, it's for you to dicide if we are suitable for you aswell'. he shouldn't of said that or i might be working there now......

 

he went through all the questions and said 'good answer' after each one. he then opened a file on the computer and went through various roles with various shift patterns to see which best suited me. all of them had 4 week days and one day of a weekend.

 

i said i didn't want any as i didn't want to give up my season ticket, obviously if i was in need of a job i wouldn't of been arsed about the footy but at the time i wasn't working weekends for anyone. the fella said 'when i first started working here i had to give my season ticket up, mine was everton though. you have to make sacrifices in life'. i replied 'yea, i could go down to goodison now and get yours back, i waited years for mine. thanks anyway'.

 

i have loads of mates who work there (virtually every teenager in kirkby works there at some point) and they said that he used me in his speech on starting day. he said something along the lines of this lad who would of been perfect for the job but said he wouldn't give his season ticket up.........

 

i'v only ever had one other interview and i wouldn't really class it as an interview, maybe i was the only one who applied because i was pretty much handed the job.

[Hermes]

I interviewed somebody sent by an agency for a temporary shift job. I told him "The shift pattern is 4 days on and 4 days off".

 

He sat there looking puzzled and thoughtful, so I said "Would that be a problem for you?" thinking that he may have weekend plans.

 

He said "How can I work 4 days on and 4 days off? there are only 7 days in a week".

[Guest simon]

I interviewed somebody sent by an agency for a temporary shift job. I told him "The shift pattern is 4 days on and 4 days off".

 

He sat there looking puzzled and thoughtful, so I said "Would that be a problem for you?" thinking that he may have weekend plans.

 

He said "How can I work 4 days on and 4 days off? there are only 7 days in a week".

 

Any jobs im a very good worker.;)

[sir roger]

My missus was going for an office based job interview last year , so we sat going over all the usual competency questions that might turn up & she left for the interview feeling quite professionally researched and ready.

 

When she got there the owner of the firm looked at her said ' You look a bit like Debbie Harry ( she doesn't ) and I've got pictures of her all over my house , so you've got the job and can start straight away '.

 

She spent the next 2 hours with this bloke showing her the computers & breathing all over her. She cleared off on lunch & never went back.

[SpeedyG]

Went for an interview today behind my employer's back and fear that i may have ballsed up a little.

The interview went well and i answered every question with the answer that the manager wanted to hear.

At the end there was the obligatory "Do you have any questions to ask me?"

I responded thus:

"The role i'm applying for is the assistant managers role, why is the current assistant manager not present?"

To which she replied "He's leaving soon and theres no point him being present"

I replied "Has he ever been present during the interview stage to gain some experience?"

He replied "Errrr not i can recall"

 

I nearly imploded at that point thinking...no wonder the guy has quit if you dont feckin trust him or want him to gain new skills.

 

I bit my lip and im sure the job is mine but cant help but think that most interviewers/managers/pricks are shit.

 

Worst interview i've had was when i lived in Swindon and applied for a job with an american company called "Tyco" who dealt in war-machine parts. The interview was Ok till they asked me to build a clown out of lego bricks, at that point i walked out. The money they threw down was good, the benefits were good and the people were nice, but build a clown to get a job you must be joking.

 

Whats the worst/best interview you've had?

 

I know a lot of people that work for Tyco, it's a great company to work for. Very forward thinking. Had a few issues CEO getting jailed etc etc.

 

I can tell you why they asked you to build a clown though. They want to see how people react to being asked to do something that does not have a "correct" answer, how they will react to being pushed out of their comfort zone in a pressurized situation.

 

They think it gives insight to how you will cope when you have to make decisions in a business context where there is no right answer where the information required to make the right decision doesn't exist.

 

The weirdest interview I had was for the manager of a group of about 20 people. They put me in a room circled by all 20 of those people, and what would have been my peers and what would have been my bosses peers and then basically fired questions at me for an hour.

 

I still don't understand the rationale behind it.

[RJ Fan club]

Interviews are a piece of piss for me. The only time I've failed is when the job has been lined up for someone else. Somehow I have a power of empathy, personality and bullshit in the right mix which means I rarely fail.

 

I can basically be myself and its always enough.

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

Well just got up and checked my e-mails and a job i applied for a few weeks is now mine!

Try not to laugh too much, the position is "online sports writer". They have sent me a workload of 10 articles (250 words+) to be completed by next wednesday which sounds easy.

I then noticed that one of the articles they want is to do with Horse Racing which is one of the few sports i completely detest! Im going to copy/paste that article as i know nothing about gee gee's.

 

*shakes fist in direction of racecourse*

[sparta7]

I had an interview with a medical care company, the interviewer was an eccentric Kraut named Riedle ( not that one). He made me a salary offer which I said I had to think about, so he gave me 5 minutes. he then took a call on his mobile. This went on for a while. When I said I would accept the offer he informed me that I hadnt accepted in the 5 minutes so the offer was withdrawn. I pointed out a) He was on the phone for 10 minutes and b) he was a cunt for taking a call in an interview. we wrapped it up after that.

 

I also walked out of an interview with Price Waterhouse because the Manc twat doing the interview picked up on my accent and started making comments about how glad I must be to be getting out of Liverpool.

[Josef Svejk]

I had an interview for a university teaching job, conducted by the usual resident and external academics, but also by a HR person. I answered the usual questions about teaching and research, but when the HR person asked me at the end to describe myself in three words, I almost jumped over the table to slap the clueless bitch. Instead, I sat there muttering and fuming, the interview ended, and - needless to say - I didn't get the job.

[Guest Dog Chaser]

I have a telephone interview this morning. This is great though as i can sit there talking with notes in front of me and the laptop on just in case.

[Duncan Clench]

At an interview for Lloyds TSB years ago I was asked if I was flexible so I put my leg behind my head and said "Yeah".

 

I got the job and it was a good start to the company because I was 'that new guy who did the thing in the interview'. Shit job though. Soul destroying. And my flexibility was never utilised properly.