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Welcome to the new and improved TLW!

 

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is your missus canadian and will she be coming with the house rental?

 

the wife is english, but fairly assimilated to our culture now after 12+ years.

 

she'll likely be leaving with me, but i could arrange some sort of alternate for you

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Vancouver sounds like a possible contender, although I am keen for a total change in lifestyle, so will need to be away from the city centre, but near somewhere that I can find work. I'm a recruiter now, but will happily fuck that off. Don't fancy just swapping what I do now for the same thing somewhere else. I quite like the idea of a proper log cabin type house with a wardrobe full of checked lumberjack shirts. I also want bears roaming around outside, and a big fuck off rifle over the fireplace, with a mounted moose-head over it wearing a red and white scarf.

 

I intend to bust my balls to get near or totally debt free in the next 18 months or so, then piss off.

 

Noos the urban downshifter. Never would have had you down for that. You'll be growing your own veg and recycling your piss to fuel your skiddoo next . . . sounds good though. Ah the simple life in the great Canadian countryside.

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As if it were needed, more proof that setting fire to yourself in garbage is bad for your health.

 

I can see where you're coming from re the culture, but the fact that 20 mins out of the city and you're in some of the most stunning scenery in the world outweighs that for me.

 

Lot of good live music places there when I went too. And strip clubs.

 

excellent point - we have some very very good strip clubs.

 

that avenue of pleasure has long been cut off for me, but it is a great factor to consider if moving here.

 

i actually live just outside vancouver in new westminster. we have a panoramic 180 degree view of the coastal mountains, mount baker to the south (like mount fuji) and the mighty fraser river below. new west is way cooler than vancouver.

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here is a test for anyone looking to emigrate to canada. each question is worth one mark unless specifed.

 

identify and explain the significance of the following.

 

if you can get most of them, you pretty much have canada nailed down...

 

1.) tim_hortons.jpg

 

2.) 2873672256_dd1ae9d704.jpg?v=0

 

3.) wayne-gretzky-2.jpg

 

4.) maple_syrup.jpg

 

5.) 481px-British_Columbia_provincial_highway_1.svg.png

 

6.) beaver.jpg

 

7.) sirjohna.jpg

 

8.) 1520814.jpg

 

9.) destinations-banff-moraine.jpg

 

10.) canada-goose.jpg

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1. coffee shop chain owned by ex hockey player - shit coffee but you don't seem to know that

2. No idea but guess its the emblem for the vancouver olympics

3. Gretzky

4. Maple syrup

5. Famous highway out west where trust fund hippies go hiking before they become investment bankers

6. Beaver - Alan Sex's raison d'etre

7. Johnny McDonald or Alexander Graham Bell or Noos contemplating his move

8 Your national beer - equivalent to our guinness or the brits stella artois

9 Guess the kokanee river

10 A loon - a la Rondeco

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1. Looks like a fast food place. Probably sells Mooseburgers.

2. Is the national emblem of Saskatchewan, or should be.

3. is definitely Wayne Gretzky, which is my Question of Sport answer to any and all ice hockey questions.

4. is either maple syrup, or a mountie's urine sample.

5. You are now entering the gender reassignment capital of Canada.

6. is either an otter, or a beaver, or a bear. Either way, it's getting a bullet in it when I get there.

7. is famous canadian hairdresser Rupert Crimp, who invented the canadian sideways flat-top.

8. is beer. I shall be bringing my own.

9. some mountains. Possibly in Italy somewhere?

10. dinner for one adult and 10 kids.

 

Woohoo! That was piss. Am I in?

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1. coffee shop chain owned by ex hockey player - shit coffee but you don't seem to know that

2. No idea but guess its the emblem for the vancouver olympics

3. Gretzky

4. Maple syrup

5. Famous highway out west where trust fund hippies go hiking before they become investment bankers

6. Beaver - Alan Sex's raison d'etre

7. Johnny McDonald or Alexander Graham Bell or Noos contemplating his move

8 Your national beer - equivalent to our guinness or the brits stella artois

9 Guess the kokanee river

10 A loon - a la Rondeco

 

6 out of 10, but you're right about tim hortons. i don't understand the appeal myself.

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1. Looks like a fast food place. Probably sells Mooseburgers.

2. Is the national emblem of Saskatchewan, or should be.

3. is definitely Wayne Gretzky, which is my Question of Sport answer to any and all ice hockey questions.

4. is either maple syrup, or a mountie's urine sample.

5. You are now entering the gender reassignment capital of Canada.

6. is either an otter, or a beaver, or a bear. Either way, it's getting a bullet in it when I get there.

7. is famous canadian hairdresser Rupert Crimp, who invented the canadian sideways flat-top.

8. is beer. I shall be bringing my own.

9. some mountains. Possibly in Italy somewhere?

10. dinner for one adult and 10 kids.

 

Woohoo! That was piss. Am I in?

 

8 out of 10 - welcome aboard !

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there is an alternate test for measuring musical/cultural taste - better study this one closely.

 

identify and approve/disapprove...

 

zepdion.jpg (my personal effort)

 

trailer_park_boys_.jpg

 

BryanAdamsNEW.jpg

 

Nelly%20Furtado.jpg

 

hockeysong.jpg

 

bobanddoug1.jpg

 

shania-twain_123758_08112008.jpg

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where are the two lesbian sisters who play guitar together - surely Canada's greatest cultural contribution

 

kd lang ? there is only one of her to go around though...

 

KD_LANG_0311.jpg

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noos.

 

thinking about it more, maybe you should follow in the footsteps of my family and try saskatchewan.

 

it's the hunting and fishing capital of the world. endless fields of wheat and open skies and lots of animals to kill (it's so flat there is nowhere to hide).

 

here are some images / links to get a feel for the place....

 

Tourism Saskatchewan

 

Saskatchewan%20Moose.JPG

 

Illinois%20Honker%20Smackers%203%202004.jpg

 

fishing6.jpg

 

Sask-OldRanch-nearGNP-04-EMELEG.jpg

 

they say they have are real greens now, but i don't believe it

sandgolf1.jpg

 

img35.jpg

 

cross country skiing paradise !

image0-1.jpg

 

cheer on the saskatchewan roughriders !

riderfans110207.jpg

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If you want to earn lots of money and shoot things than you best come my way.

 

Primary teacher (elementary) Nossette would have no problem finding a job in Nunavut. Turnover is fairly high amoung southerners. Salary for teachers is the highest in Canada because living expenses are high but if you are smart you can offset the high cost with planning. Get all your food barged up, eat country food (caribou, arctic char, etc) and avoid teh local grocery store.

 

There is bountiful wildlife where I live to shoot and, unlike southern Canada, I can walk out my backyard and kill supper if I so chose. There are ptarmigan (grouse), geese, caribou, muskox to shoot and eat all within 100km (game is seasonal).

 

However, I expect you would go mad in the 24 hour darkness in the winter like so many of your compatriots did all those years ago when they were exploring.

 

 

And both Celine Dion and Bryan Adams no longer live in Canada.

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If you want to earn lots of money and shoot things than you best come my way.

 

Primary teacher (elementary) Nossette would have no problem finding a job in Nunavut. Turnover is fairly high amoung southerners. Salary for teachers is the highest in Canada because living expenses are high but if you are smart you can offset the high cost with planning. Get all your food barged up, eat country food (caribou, arctic char, etc) and avoid teh local grocery store.

 

There is bountiful wildlife where I live to shoot and, unlike southern Canada, I can walk out my backyard and kill supper if I so chose. There are ptarmigan (grouse), geese, caribou, muskox to shoot and eat all within 100km (game is seasonal).

 

However, I expect you would go mad in the 24 hour darkness in the winter like so many of your compatriots did all those years ago when they were exploring.

 

 

And both Celine Dion and Bryan Adams no longer live in Canada.

 

Cheers NP. I reckon you're a bit too Grizzly Addams up that neck of the woods for Familia Noos. 24 hour darkness for fuck's sake? Can't afford to go shopping? Pfft... I want to shoot animals for fun, not because I'm skint and starving.

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Aren't there forrests in Canada bigger than the UK? Noos just go and build a cabin or some shit, nobody's going to notice. Save yourself some taxes and shit.

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Canada must be quite easy to get into. Some journo bird I know got an editor's job on a paper in Calgary a couple of months back, she's got no management experience and no family out there as far as I know, she just went for a holiday with her husband and landed the gig.

 

Australia on the other hand, requires you to have £500,000 in negotiable bearer bonds stuffed securely up your arse before they'll even let you off the plane.

 

Calgary's where I am. It's one of the places where there are still a lot of jobs going (despite the recession). They seem to always be in need of teachers here - I know a few that have just moved from Eastern Canada to get work here.

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hmmm..saskatchewan looks a bit dull though. All that flatness - and fishing bores the shit out of me. I'd prefer some mountains and stuff.

 

grise-fjord.jpg

 

GRISE FJORD

 

aaa522.jpg

 

ARCTIC BAY

 

 

212707344_ed9e1b5ec2.jpg?v=0

Baker Lake (Where I live)

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