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  • 3 weeks later...
2 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

Karl Marx is an historically famous figure but nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who is herself famous as she invented the starting pistol. 

The problem I've always had with this joke, well apart from it being shit, is that Onya isn't a name. May as well mention uncle Full who always did well on tests. 

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Priti Patel is touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.

Priti, in her usual bullying manner, says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.'

The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.

'You were driving; go and tell the farmer, ' says Priti.

Five hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled, with a big grin on his face.

'My goodness, what happened to you?' asks Priti.

The chauffeur replies: ' When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me. '

'What on earth did you say?' asks Priti.

'I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them: I'm Priti Patel's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow.'

(Credit: Unknown)

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6 minutes ago, Tj hooker said:

Priti Patel is touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.

Priti, in her usual bullying manner, says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.'

The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.

'You were driving; go and tell the farmer, ' says Priti.

Five hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled, with a big grin on his face.

'My goodness, what happened to you?' asks Priti.

The chauffeur replies: ' When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me. '

'What on earth did you say?' asks Priti.

'I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them: I'm Priti Patel's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow.'

(Credit: Unknown)

Hahaha 

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