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I was having afull blown threesome with two right dirty bitches at my workplace.The blonde one was taking it up the arse while the black one was licking and slurping on my balls...

then the boss walked in on us.

Needless to say I dont work at those kennels anymore.

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Guest Pistonbroke

Anne Summers outlets are selling a new alcoholic vagina gel that women can rub on their flaps!

 

So now when the guy goes down he can have a bevvy as well!

 

However, anti-drink campaigner's want it banned amid fears of 24 hr minge drinking !!

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My girlfriend finally laid all her cards on the table, and told me she had an abusive father and cancer.

 

She always beats me at 'X-Factor Top Trumps'

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Guest davelfc

I phoned one of the Babestation girls once.

 

she said "What would you like me to do for you?"

 

So I said...

 

"Hide behind the sofa, the wife's coming downstairs & I've lost the remote!"

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Guest Pistonbroke

I called the RSPCA today and said,

"I've just found a suitcase in the

woods containing a fox and four

cubs."

"That's terrible," she replied. "Are

they moving?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest," I

said, "But that would explain the

suitcase."

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Guest davelfc

Nice after all these years I can still have a sex dream about my wife. Last night the part of my wife was played by a girl from work.

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I walked into my mums bedroom and under the bed I saw a suit- case half open. My curiosity got the better off me so I opened the case in it was a leather mask, a leather cape, crotchless leather shorts and a leather whip......

 

I couldn't believe it... my mum... a super hero!!!!

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Guest davelfc

Love is: that delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and finding out she's a fat, nagging cunt.

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A man has undergone the first successful hand transplant in the UK. Doctors say he can move his fingers, but still doesn't have any feeling.

 

Also, he won't come out of the bathroom for some reason.

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Kevin-Prince Boateng has kicked a ball at a section of the AC Milan crowd because they were racially abusing him.

 

It's a good job Robin Van Persie wasn't in the crowd, he could have been killed.

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The police asked me to identify what they thought was my wife's body.

 

They pulled the sheet back to show her face. "I can't be certain," I told them.

 

The sheet went back a bit further to reveal her breasts. "Sorry, but I'm still not sure."

 

They took the sheet completely off and I had a good look. "That's definitely not her, Officer.

 

My wife's not black."

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