Joke!

[dylstar]

I wish Oxford and Cambridge would settle their differences, I hate to watch them rowing

[dylstar]

BREAKING NEWS The whole of Cornwall has been moved into Tier 4 after hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance for Christmas. The Aaaaarrrrr rate has increased dramatically

[Trumo]

My son came home very excited the other day.

"Dad, I was awarded the Leslie Nielsen award at school today!"

"What’s that?" I asked.

"A big building with lots of teachers and kids. But that’s not important right now."

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Why was the cheesemonger lopsided?

 

Because he only had one stilt on.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

[easytoslip]

It wasn't buggery M'lud, he was just giving me a wank with his arse. 

[Alan Sex]

5 hours ago, easytoslip said:

It wasn't buggery M'lud, he was just giving me a wank with his arse. 

I think you’ve mistaken this thread for the Confessions thread, Slippy. 

[easytoslip]

2 minutes ago, Alan Sex said:

I think you’ve mistaken this thread for the Confessions thread, Slippy. 

Haha oh bugger, I'm out now. 

[SlugTrail]

3 hours ago, easytoslip said:

Haha oh bugger, I'm out now. 

I think that was obvious from your previous post.

[easytoslip]

25 minutes ago, SlugTrail said:

I think that was obvious from your previous post.

That I put my pyjamas on backwards? 

[A Red]

[Stickman]

No eggs at the supermarket...

 

Due to social distancing farmers are struggling to make hens meet...

[AngryOfTuebrook]

[Alan Sex]

A boy comes home from school at 7pm. His dad says “Where were you?”  
 

“I was with Jessica.” He replied. 
 

“What were you doing?”

 

”We were studying.”

 

After picking a snack off the table, the son says “these fish cakes are lovely!”

 

Dad says “wash your hands son, they’re fucking doughnuts.”

[JagSquared]

Almost got arrested for using counterfeit currency earlier. 
 

Luckily I slipped the copper a £37 note and he let me off.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

My wife accused me of having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

 

I don't know how she could say such a thing. 

[dylstar]

By accident I left my bank card in my joggers and they’ve been in the wash... asked my dad if it will still work and he’s turned round and says I might get done for money laundering .

[littletedwest]

Wiganer walking down the street when he sees a sign in a shop window. Meat pies- 50p, meat and potato pies 50p ,wanks £1. That's a  good deal he thinks and walks in.

He says to the beautiful 20 year old behind the counter, "are you the one who gives the wanks?" " I am " she blushes. " well wash your hands and Get me two pies love"

[Harry's Lad]

16 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Wiganer walking down the street when he sees a sign in a shop window. Meat pies- 50p, meat and potato pies 50p ,wanks £1. That's a  good deal he thinks and walks in.

He says to the beautiful 20 year old behind the counter, "are you the one who gives the wanks?" " I am " she blushes. " well wash your hands and Get me two pies love"

On a barm.

[halewood pete]

32 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

On a barm.

Galloways, the only good reason to be in Wigan. All their pies are gorgeous 

 

On 29/03/2021 at 14:22, Pidge said:

 

 

[halewood pete]

[halewood pete]

[Harry's Lad]

1 minute ago, halewood pete said:

Galloways, the only good reason to be in Wigan. All their pies are gorgeous 

 

 

Yep, they really are.

[A Red]

2 Brummies fishing at a canal. 

 

"I caught a whale here the other day!"

 

"Yow caught a whale ???"

 

"Yeah I diiid! Had to throw it back though"

 

"Why did yow throw it back??"

 

"It had no spokes in it"

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I met a microbiologist yesterday. 

 

He was bigger than I expected.