Taking a Shit

[thechap]

Try the Atkins diet. When I did that I didn't shit for about 4 days. When the khazi finally called my name I couldn't squeeze the bugger out. It was so big and solid it was like trying to squeeze out a bloody house brick.

 

No exaggeration but it took about 30 minutes and a lot of tears down my face and shouting to squeeze out the first stool. I think the indentations from my fingers are still in the porcelein of the sink.

[Unrighteous]

Just had my evening shit. It was glorious.

[robbief]

i try to shit in the morning as i work mainly on new houses (no drainage fitted) which means shitting in a bucket. obviously when i try to go, nothing comes and by around half 10 i'm squatted over a bucket.

 

my missus goes every day at half 8. for some reason it takes her half an hour and she has a saying..........half 8 til nine the bathrooms mine. i think i added to this problem by doing the bathroom nice and having a telly in there.

 

don't get me wrong tho', dropping anchor is a chor to be enjoyed. if you get a nice steady richard you need to enjoy it. i done my own bathroom in fancy tiles, a telly (behindglass to protect from condensation) and an original gameboy with tetris on. theres nothing better than loosing chocolate while improving your tetris skills with something from the vast* choice of freeview on the box. all this while wallowing in pride at your bathroom building skills is heaven.

 

*freeview sucks. last man standing and the real hustle just about sums it up.

[robbief]

i think now is the time to make this known. i was in the pub and i didn't want to miss the amir khan fight but was dying for a richard. i had to go in a field as some bastard had pissed all over the shitter seats.

 

whilst in the field i thought it was a big 'un. in fact i was there for over 10 minutes and 4 people walked past.

 

the next day i decided to take a hangover walk and just by chance went in the direction of my man made mountain. it was fucking huge. in fact i should of took photos.

[Big Ig]

How the fuck can you only have 3 dumps in a month Leeson?!! Did you not eat?!

[chris71]

3 dumps in a month!!!!! If only:(. 1 to 6or7 a day for me in fact had the first at 4.40 this morning and second just a while ago. Looking like it's going to be one long shitty day.

[Section_31]

I used to go maybe 3 times a month sometimes less. Last few months though I've been going maybe 4 or 5 times a day. It must be an age thing.

 

Fucking hell, have you ever been the doctors about that?

[chris71]

I'd just like to report my third trip to the pool with the kids today. One more and stinging arse syndrome is likely me thinks.

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

Shat in the shower the other day as i was unable to get out dry myself then squat so dropped a little one off down the plughole. Trouble was it was too solid to wash down the plughole so i used my big toe to push/break it down. imagine my surprise when i finally got out of the shower and found a tiny piece of sweetcorn under ny toenail!

[Unrighteous]

That's disgusting Ivana.

 

 

 

 

I haven't had my morning dump today. I'm a bit distressed. However, I have things to do... so I'll have to do a 'holder' until I return home.

[Remmie]

Surely this is enough of an excuse to bump the Slater thread.

[Original202]

Shat in the shower the other day as i was unable to get out dry myself then squat so dropped a little one off down the plughole. Trouble was it was too solid to wash down the plughole so i used my big toe to push/break it down. imagine my surprise when i finally got out of the shower and found a tiny piece of sweetcorn under ny toenail!

 

Repped for being totally vile.

[Big Ig]

That's disgusting Ivana.

 

 

 

 

I haven't had my morning dump today. I'm a bit distressed. However, I have things to do... so I'll have to do a 'holder' until I return home.

 

I skipped the morning release today due to work commitments, didn't have 10 seconds to spare from 9am til 2am, now regretting it! Time to get a laptop stand installed in the Kazi methinks...

[robbief]

I skipped the morning release today due to work commitments, didn't have 10 seconds to spare from 9am til 2am, now regretting it! Time to get a laptop stand installed in the Kazi methinks...

 

that is where my weekend is going.

 

i'v always wanted something to rest my book / paper / what ever i'm doing on the shitter on. who ever gets it built first gets the copy right.

[windass]

I am normally a 'set my watch' kind of fella. I usually take a shit around the same time everyday. This has been the case for a long time now. Well, since i can remember.

Until... last week when i had food poisning and with it, a touch of the trotts. Since then i just cant seem to pull back my regular shit time and its doin my head in.

Any ideas of what to eat to get a more regular and consistent stool?

 

i always feel like a shit when i score a goal :drool: