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The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

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3 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

I'll give you a clue, it's not your ear.

It was a genuine question as I thought they made an incision between your arsehole and scrotum to gain access to the prostate. 

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3 minutes ago, Atticus Finch said:

It was a genuine question as I thought they made an incision between your arsehole and scrotum to gain access to the prostate. 

Oh ok, sorry. No they go straight in via your arse. It’s a surprisingly long way in that’s for sure. 

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32 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

All the best mate. I've had loads of tests due to latter years and all came up good. Still manage to fucking break bones though.

Cheers TJ. So far Ive managed to avoid broken bones just had a knee clean out last year caused by playing footy until i was 46...not the best for your joints.

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On 20/07/2021 at 21:06, YorkshireRed said:

This will, I’m sure, have been mentioned before but the speed in which your finger and toe nails grow as you age.

 

I’m sure I only cut my finger nails last week and I already look like Flo Jo. 

Saw a thing on Twitter recently with a female saying that in Lockdown, she had chosen a prime number as the number of days between cutting her fingernails and  a different one for cutting her toenails so that there two rarely coincided.

As I get older, my appropriate  prime numbers seem to be 1.

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Old mate of mine had a catastrophic brain aneurysm causing a subarachnoid hemorrhage a couple of months ago. Mid-to-late forties bracket, wife and young son. Another reminder that I’m starting to veer into the age group where the chances of something horrible happening out of the blue to close mates rise.

 

Of all the various gravely serious elements influencing likely prognosis, I’m told he got a full deck and while imminent survival itself was incredibly unlikely when it happened, even if he somehow managed to buck those odds, the likelihood of him still then passing on at the 3/6 months mark was high. Likewise the chances of any meaningful recovery weren’t ones you ever want to hear. I’ve lost a couple of close family members to the same, so know a little first-hand from my own bedside conversations with the consultant involved how disastrous these sort of bleeds often are and the grim survival/recovery prospects. 

 

I’d had brief contact with his sister a while back and been forwarded a video of him reading a message to us all from hospital, but other than that not heard too much. Yesterday, a group of us who worked in the same place in the late 90’s and hadn’t all met up for a very long time got together to raise a glass to him. Someone had arranged with his wife and sister to FaceTime him and pass him round to us all one by one. To be honest, I was fearing the worst as the phrase which kept being used by the couple who’d had more direct communication recently was ‘bittersweet’. Everyone’s just made up he’s still here and his boy gets his dad around while he’s growing up, but he’s got a long, steep road of recovery in front of him. 

 

Came to my turn, we did the obvious bits then I made some comment about him swerving the drinks because he’s a fanny and without any hesitation he was straight into just mercilessly ripping the piss and giving me shit pretty much relentlessly for 5 minutes about the fact we went out Saturday day drinking once a good 20 years ago and I got the point I didn’t know where I was and had to go home early. He obviously signed off telling me he’ll be at the next one and put me on my arse again. I half believe him. Genuinely made my year to see the fella I know and not what I’d been braced for. Fucking life-affirming, tear in the eye shit. We really do have to use it while we have it.

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On my way back from a ‘team bonding weekend’. Decided I’d try my hand at everything despite being the oldest person there. This included abseiling down a pretty hairy cliff face (see photo). Later in the bar one of the young 20 somethings said “I was really impressed you did that, my dad would never have done it”. This, my friends, makes you feel very fucking old. 

0C6A1F8A-278C-4C4B-BED6-FA5F3611C755.jpeg

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12 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

On my way back from a ‘team bonding weekend’. Decided I’d try my hand at everything despite being the oldest person there. This included abseiling down a pretty hairy cliff face (see photo). Later in the bar one of the young 20 somethings said “I was really impressed you did that, my dad would never have done it”. This, my friends, makes you feel very fucking old. 

0C6A1F8A-278C-4C4B-BED6-FA5F3611C755.jpeg

You 50 yet?

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43 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

On my way back from a ‘team bonding weekend’. Decided I’d try my hand at everything despite being the oldest person there. This included abseiling down a pretty hairy cliff face (see photo). Later in the bar one of the young 20 somethings said “I was really impressed you did that, my dad would never have done it”. This, my friends, makes you feel very fucking old. 

0C6A1F8A-278C-4C4B-BED6-FA5F3611C755.jpeg

Fair play. No way I'd abseil down that, climbing down step-ladders is my limit.

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1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

On my way back from a ‘team bonding weekend’. Decided I’d try my hand at everything despite being the oldest person there. This included abseiling down a pretty hairy cliff face (see photo). Later in the bar one of the young 20 somethings said “I was really impressed you did that, my dad would never have done it”. This, my friends, makes you feel very fucking old. 

0C6A1F8A-278C-4C4B-BED6-FA5F3611C755.jpeg

Full marks for giving it a go mate. No fucking way would I do that.

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24 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

Full marks for giving it a go mate. No fucking way would I do that.

Thanks. I spent all weekend taking part in various physical activities whilst feeling  like some knackered old lion surrounded by youngsters who are going to kick me out of the pride to be eaten by hyenas. I’m completely shattered now. 

D17471DE-327C-40AA-A11C-789DFE6E3DC1.jpeg

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1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

And some more. Nearer 60 than 50

Good job, you’re never too old. My auntie in her mid 50’s zip lined in Liverpool City Centre, abseiled down the Anglican Cathedral and jumped from a plane.

I cleared my gutters recently haha.

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56 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Good job, you’re never too old. My auntie in her mid 50’s zip lined in Liverpool City Centre, abseiled down the Anglican Cathedral and jumped from a plane.

I cleared my gutters recently haha.

Ha ha

Here’s the view from the top

A3D55A83-FC09-44F9-A1A0-BEC8B2C7D2BB.jpeg

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Saw Newcastle go one up and had to nip out for a bit. Came back and it was 3 1 Spurs and Ant and Dec were sat there with faces like smacked arses , so I did my best Harry H Corbett ' Dear oh Dear oh Dear ' impression. Daughter and son in law just stared at me as if I was a complete loon.

 

 

 

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On 15/10/2021 at 08:55, Rico1304 said:

My knees were hurting me so much last night in my sleep that the pain made it’s way into my dreams. 

Same. Mine have been in agony for weeks due to driving round in a tiny courtesy car for 3 weeks.
 

Cos I’m now on high blood pressure tabs, I can’t have ibuprofen and normal painkillers aren’t working.

 

Phoned the GP on Friday only to be told the next appointment won’t be till next month and I may be better phoning the Spire and going private. 
 

Calls the spire and got told I could see a consultant next Friday. Happy days I thought, then she said the consultancy fees gonna be between £165-£220.

 

Ive bought 2 boxes of ibuprofen, cos YOLO n’all that.

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11 hours ago, Red74 said:

Same. Mine have been in agony for weeks due to driving round in a tiny courtesy car for 3 weeks.

Can you not just move the seat back a bit? or are you this fella?

 

Tall Man Driving - Tall GIF - Tall Tall Man Driving Driving - Discover &  Share GIFs

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30 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

Can you not just move the seat back a bit? or are you this fella?

 

Tall Man Driving - Tall GIF - Tall Tall Man Driving Driving - Discover &  Share GIFs

HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Thats exactly how i saw myself when I was driving the fucker 

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On 15/10/2021 at 08:55, Rico1304 said:

My knees were hurting me so much last night in my sleep that the pain made it’s way into my dreams. 

My knees are now so bad I have to come down the stairs backwards.  Steroid injections next Friday - straight over to Berlin after.  

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