Jump to content
Section_31

The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

Recommended Posts

15 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Been there mate. Had about five in 2018/19 and it was the only time we saw most of the rest of the extended family.

Was at a funeral on my mums side a few years back organised a get together I’m the oldest of about 15, months notice, two turned up. Families.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Section_31 said:

The concept of aches and pains. Every day I've got some kind of ache in some far flung part of my body. Was a time I thought Ibuprofen was a planet in Babylon 5, sadly not any more.

I though Co Codamol played for Peru!

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Elite said:

Makes me wince when I see young blokes digging up gardens and doing ground work, their discs will look like burst egg yolks in a few years.

Just had foundations dug for an extension at ours. The lad doing the ground work was an animal and didn’t stop all day. 
 

It would genuinely have took me about 4 or 5 weeks to do what he did. If I even got it finished at all due to a broken back, I’d have deffo got blisters on my hands too. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

Just had foundations dug for an extension at ours. The lad doing the ground work was an animal and didn’t stop all day. 
 

It would genuinely have took me about 4 or 5 weeks to do what he did. If I even got it finished at all due to a broken back, I’d have deffo got blisters on my hands too. 

Even when I think of digging I have to take two ibuprofen.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In my twenties  I had to spend an extended period of time in a hospital. At one stage I shared a room with someone who had just had his prostate reamed out. The nurses had to make  he could urinate okay and to help one of the nurses turned all the taps on. Why do that says I. Doesn't it make you want to go to the toilet says she. No says I laughing. Ever since, a running tap has made me want to have a piss.
Now having reached my  70s, I need to have a piss before I turn  a tap on or risk disaster.

  • Upvote 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
27 minutes ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

In my twenties  I had to spend an extended period of time in a hospital. At one stage I shared a room with someone who had just had his prostate reamed out. The nurses had to make  he could urinate okay and to help one of the nurses turned all the taps on. Why do that says I. Doesn't it make you want to go to the toilet says she. No says I laughing. Ever since, a running tap has made me want to have a piss.
Now having reached my  70s, I need to have a piss before I turn  a tap on or risk disaster.

Try going for a beer - one pint in, four pints out!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 09/07/2021 at 20:05, Elite said:

Doing the weights/sports/manual labour fucks you up massively later in life. I know fat bastards who would class walking to the vending machine as exercise that have zero aches and pains, due to hardly any wear and tear on their joints which is a bit of a paradox considering the strain of all that weight. 

stringy says hi!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I friend of mine who used to come along to the weekly jam session in my local turned up there again three weeks ago looking a bit peaky by all accounts.  Five days later he had a heart attack.  The day after, he had a stent put in, and the day after that he was back at the jam night.  I wouldn't mind, he looked as fit as a flea last time I saw him.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
52 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Doesn't seem that bad , Stouff.

 

 

portrait-young-beautiful-sexy-brunette-woman-doctor-nurse-white-costume-pink-gloves-standing-over-blue-wall-170871554.jpg

Still wouldn't let her stick a finger up my arse. It's horrendous.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Elite said:

Still wouldn't let her stick a finger up my arse. It's horrendous.

Fuckin A. I had a camera a while back, Japanese prisoner shit.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Fuckin A. I had a camera a while back, Japanese prisoner shit.

Some people obviously love it, no idea how as it's painful and not pleasurable at all, the GP obviously didn't hit my G-Spot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a bird stick her finger up my hoop once, completely unrequested I'd like to add. Weirdly I felt neither pleasure nor discomfort, well physical discomfort. I felt a bit odd that she was fingerblasting me but as other more pleasurable activity was simultaneously being achieved I didn't protest. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

I had a prostrate biopsy. The machine they use is basically like a huge dildo with a little knife inside it on the end of a long steel probe. They give you local anaesthetic but they can’t stop you seeing the fucking thing as they wheel you in. Haunts me to this day. 

Sounds like hell.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Elite said:

Sounds like hell.

Sounds like the implement John Doe makes that fella use on a prostitute to represent the sin Lust in Seven.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, dockers_strike said:

Would be my luck to get a man doctor with fucking fat sausage sized fingers!

That's exactly what I had last time. Not a pleasant experience.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Got told at the hospital the other day I’m now at an advanced risk of bowel cancer due to my age/condition, so I’ll need a colonoscopy every 3 years.
 

2D865EAE-5012-43AA-9BAD-E60CF4D553E4.gif 


To be fair, those scopes are way preferable to a hospital enema, which are like having the nozzle from a jerry can of petrol rammed into you. 
 

I’ll consider myself grateful for small mercies I think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×