The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[sir roger]

47 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

I got some from Amazon. It does work. Only trouble was we were in the car the other day and Her Indoors said 'have you had a blue rinse?'. Must be her eyesight.

She must have sharp eyes tj  , my mates are horrible skitting bastards and not one has spotted it after 18 months.

[tokyojoe]

27 minutes ago, sir roger said:

She must have sharp eyes tj  , my mates are horrible skitting bastards and not one has spotted it after 18 months.

Wow. Only had a total of four showers with it now!

[YorkshireRed]

Just dawned on me that I haven’t masturbated in almost a month.
 

Not sure if this is an age thing, or a lack of arguments on the GF with the potential to end in a fist fight. 
 

Could be either, could be both...

[Elite]

35 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Just dawned on me that I haven’t masturbated in almost a month.
 

Not sure if this is an age thing, or a lack of arguments on the GF with the potential to end in a fist fight. 
 

Could be either, could be both...

Surely you've had sex though?

 

I'd actually welcome a decrease in libido.

[YorkshireRed]

13 minutes ago, Elite said:

Surely you've had sex though?

 

I'd actually welcome a decrease in libido.

I’ve been with the same woman for nearly twenty years. What do you think!

[Elite]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

I’ve been with the same woman for nearly twenty years. What do you think!

I'd expect a decrease over that period but nothing in a month? That's bad.

[YorkshireRed]

5 minutes ago, Elite said:

That's bad.

We go through peaks and troughs, but this isn’t that unusual.

 

I’ve got some mates who are still at it like rabbits, in relationships at least as long as mine. Others who barely have sex at all.

[Harry's Lad]

4 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

We go through peaks and troughs, but this isn’t that unusual.

 

I’ve got some mates who are still at it like rabbits, in relationships at least as long as mine. Others who barely have sex at all.

What's sex? I've forgotten.

[Section_31]

Googling "how old was Ian McShane in Lovejoy".

[Evelyn Tentions]

4 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Googling "how old was Ian McShane in Lovejoy".

In his 40s when it started, 50 odd at the end of its run

[Bobby Hundreds]

Ian mcshane has been in his 50s since he was born centuries ago.

[VladimirIlyich]

8 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Ian mcshane has been in his 50s since he was born centuries ago.

Ian McStringvest.

[Captain Turdseye]

Been away visiting my bird’s family for the last couple of days. Friday ‘til Tuesday we’re meant to be here. Staying at her older sister’s house out in the sticks. They’re great and it’s generally a lovely place to be. Years gone by I’d have been bladdered all weekend making a prat of myself and enjoying almost every minute of it. This time we got here on Friday night and I drank a bottle of wine with a Chinese before taking myself off to bed early. Then had an awful night’s sleep because I’ve decided that the bed is too firm. It’s never been something I’ve noticed before. Haven’t touched a drop since, barely slept a wink and I’ve not stopped moaning about my sunburnt bonce. Meant to be having a barbecue and beers later with the in-laws in-laws. Aren’t we supposed to be enjoying stuff like this after all the Covid shite? Honestly I just want to pack my car up, go home to my own bed and stick a documentary on. I might do just that after the pleasantries later. I just haven’t told anyone yet...

 

Also her other sister is coming AGAIN this afternoon. We already met up with them yesterday and the day before. She left her kids here on Saturday night and their 14 year old son has grown into such a horrible little gobshite that I’m gonna struggle to maintain my composure if he even looks sideways at my daughter today. The decision has been made that he’s now barred from my house. Fucking nasty, selfish little prick who knows more about everything than anyone who ever lived on Earth before him or will live after he’s gone. The only thing he doesn’t know is how to take a slap from his step-uncle but when he comes of age he might very well find out. “Oh, you’re 18 today lad, yeah? Look, I’ve been saving this for you. BANG.”
 

Turdsette’s birthday is on Thursday and then this weekend coming I’m driving up to stay in Speke and Runcorn without her or the kids. Both of those things I am looking forward to.

[sir roger]

I feel for you Cap'n , I'm gradually turning into my mum , I can't be bothered going out and doing anything sociable that lasts more than a couple of hours.

[Elite]

43 minutes ago, sir roger said:

I feel for you Cap'n , I'm gradually turning into my mum , I can't be bothered going out and doing anything sociable that lasts more than a couple of hours.

I'm the same, I'd never dream of hosting dinner parties, barbeques and all that other social stuff as it drains the fuck out of me. There's definitely a shelf life to my social interactions and it's getting shorter.

[Chairman Meow]

1 hour ago, sir roger said:

I feel for you Cap'n , I'm gradually turning into my mum , I can't be bothered going out and doing anything sociable that lasts more than a couple of hours.

 

54 minutes ago, Elite said:

I'm the same, I'd never dream of hosting dinner parties, barbeques and all that other social stuff as it drains the fuck out of me. There's definitely a shelf life to my social interactions and it's getting shorter.

I was always like that, but when I was younger I used to still attend because I felt forced into it.

 

The only difference with age is that I now just tell people no. It took a number of years but now I get invited to pretty much nothing. It's wonderful, but took a lot of effort and ignorance to achieve. 

[VladimirIlyich]

3 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Been away visiting my bird’s family for the last couple of days. Friday ‘til Tuesday we’re meant to be here. Staying at her older sister’s house out in the sticks. They’re great and it’s generally a lovely place to be. Years gone by I’d have been bladdered all weekend making a prat of myself and enjoying almost every minute of it. This time we got here on Friday night and I drank a bottle of wine with a Chinese before taking myself off to bed early. Then had an awful night’s sleep because I’ve decided that the bed is too firm. It’s never been something I’ve noticed before. Haven’t touched a drop since, barely slept a wink and I’ve not stopped moaning about my sunburnt bonce. Meant to be having a barbecue and beers later with the in-laws in-laws. Aren’t we supposed to be enjoying stuff like this after all the Covid shite? Honestly I just want to pack my car up, go home to my own bed and stick a documentary on. I might do just that after the pleasantries later. I just haven’t told anyone yet...

 

Also her other sister is coming AGAIN this afternoon. We already met up with them yesterday and the day before. She left her kids here on Saturday night and their 14 year old son has grown into such a horrible little gobshite that I’m gonna struggle to maintain my composure if he even looks sideways at my daughter today. The decision has been made that he’s now barred from my house. Fucking nasty, selfish little prick who knows more about everything than anyone who ever lived on Earth before him or will live after he’s gone. The only thing he doesn’t know is how to take a slap from his step-uncle but when he comes of age he might very well find out. “Oh, you’re 18 today lad, yeah? Look, I’ve been saving this for you. BANG.”
 

Turdsette’s birthday is on Thursday and then this weekend coming I’m driving up to stay in Speke and Runcorn without her or the kids. Both of those things I am looking forward to.

You havent been to Runcorn lately if you are looking forward to it. Probably Speke too.

[Captain Turdseye]

3 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

You havent been to Runcorn lately if you are looking forward to it. Probably Speke too.

It’s not a sightseeing tour, believe it or not. Pretty sure my family and friends are still my family and friends. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Sat up to 6am drinking last weekend. Spent about 4 days feeling like a heap of discarded meat glued together badly.

[VladimirIlyich]

7 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

It’s not a sightseeing tour, believe it or not. Pretty sure my family and friends are still my family and friends. 

RIP,YNWA etc.

[Harry's Lad]

When you start sitting on your bollocks.

[VladimirIlyich]

8 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

When you start sitting on your bollocks.

Buster Gonad here.

[Section_31]

Bent over the other week while cleaning the car and did a little wee.

[Harry's Lad]

28 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Buster Gonad here.

I very nearly have. Often.

 

[Elite]

When your joints feel like they lack any semblance of lubrication, my shoulders click more than Predator.