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The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

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1 minute ago, Mook said:

Every night when I go to do the dishes I have to stop & go for a piss first. Like fucking clockwork.

 

Repped for doing the dishes comment. I thought we were the only family in Europe without a dishwasher. We see doing the dishes as a bit of quality time where we can have a chat with the kids and a bit of a laugh, also gets the lazy little fuckers away from their computers for longer than 5 minutes. Christ I'm getting old. 

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2 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

 

Repped for doing the dishes comment. I thought we were the only family in Europe without a dishwasher. We see doing the dishes as a bit of quality time where we can have a chat with the kids and a bit of a laugh, also gets the lazy little fuckers away from their computers for longer than 5 minutes. Christ I'm getting old. 

I usually do them while she's reading our oldest his bedtime story, gives me 15 minutes peace in the kitchen to listen to some music & have a wee dance depending on what sort of mood I'm in.

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13 minutes ago, Mook said:

I usually do them while she's reading our oldest his bedtime story, gives me 15 minutes peace in the kitchen to listen to some music & have a wee dance depending on what sort of mood I'm in.

 Our youngest has us playing that 'Guess the animal I'm thinking of game by asking one question at a time.' Educational or what.  

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48 minutes ago, Mook said:

I usually do them while she's reading our oldest his bedtime story, gives me 15 minutes peace in the kitchen to listen to some music & have a wee dance depending on what sort of mood I'm in.

I agree, it's one of my favourite chores. I have no problem washing the dishes, drying them and wiping the surfaces but hoovering can fuck off.

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51 minutes ago, Mook said:

I usually do them while she's reading our oldest his bedtime story, gives me 15 minutes peace in the kitchen to listen to some music & have a wee dance depending on what sort of mood I'm in.

I agree, it's one of my favourite chores. I have no problem washing the dishes, drying them and wiping the surfaces but hoovering can fuck off.

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2 minutes ago, Elite said:

I agree, it's one of my favourite chores. I have no problem washing the dishes, drying them and wiping the surfaces but hoovering can fuck off.

 

I  don't mind hoovering, dusting or Ironing mate. Cleaning windows is my bug bear, leave that to the missus and tell her they look great. 

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I was in London today, walked down Compton Street and was surprised how

many bars had changed since I was there regularly. Then realised it was 20 years ago.  20 years.  

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2 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

 

I  don't mind hoovering, dusting or Ironing mate. Cleaning windows is my bug bear, leave that to the missus and tell her they look great. 

I hate all that shit. I'll cook and do the dishes every day but everything else my missus can do. I do a bit of DIY every now and again, so use that as my argument.

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1 minute ago, Elite said:

I hate all that shit. I'll cook and do the dishes every day but everything else my missus can do. I do a bit of DIY every now and again, so use that as my argument.

 

Yeah, I love cooking, plus I get to eat what I like mate. The older you get though everything becomes a bit of a chore, especially with picky kids. I regularly end up cooking two different meals due to this. Pain in the arse. 

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Fuck doing the dishes. I bought a dishwasher and IT CHANGED MY LIFE.

 

My kitchen being about the size of a Ford Mondeo means that doing them as a team wouldn’t work anyway but when I used to do the dishes I did the same as Mook. Music on. Little sing and dance. 

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I like mowing the lawn but hate vacuuming. Considering the relative similarity of the movements, I'm not entirely sure why this is. I guess mowing the lawn is more rewarding and it's outdoors.

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I need a piss before my tea every single time. I call it my teapee. 

 

There's nothing that makes you feel older than young people. Fresh faced cunts. I need to start buying more plastic burn more fuel.

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11 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Fuck doing the dishes. I bought a dishwasher and IT CHANGED MY LIFE.

 

My kitchen being about the size of a Ford Mondeo means that doing them as a team wouldn’t work anyway but when I used to do the dishes I did the same as Mook. Music on. Little sing and dance. 

Does it smell of spunk?

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9 minutes ago, Bernard Diomede said:

I played a 40 minute game of the unmentionable last night and feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. Thank god I was off today I could barely get out of bed. I’m 32 for fucks sake. 

 

All starts going downhill from here on in mate, especially if you have young children and little time between working and family life to fit in the sport. RIP and all that. 

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I had to pick a parcel up on the way home today, mentioned I was very likely to forget. So, the apprentice got my phone and set a reminder to go off when walked near the shop (it’s on my way home to the station so had to walk past it).  Lo and behold when I got near the shop I got a text to remind me to go in. 
 

gamechanger.  

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12 hours ago, johnsusername said:

Don't Falter by Mint Royale and Lauren Laverne was twenty years old yesterday. TWENTY! 

 

 

I'd make Lauren Laverne a ham and cheese toastie and share my after eights with her.

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