The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Dr Nowt 24,122]

Was it one of the orange ones?

 

I used to have one of them fucks and I kept it exclusively under the stairs and gave it a boot on a regular basis.

[chrisbonnie 903]

13 hours ago, Mudface said:

Pull away. The place is pristine now, not a dog hair in sight, all thanks to Harry.

 

 

 

i see your Henry, 

 

and you raise you with my Miele

 

[VladimirIlyich 7,540]

23 hours ago, Jenson said:

Was out on Tuesday night watching a certain game. Had a few shandies but nothing excessive, fell asleep on the couch last night at 8pm and didn't wake up until 7am this morning.

Kudos for not waking up to piss 20 minutes later...or did you have a dream about swimming in a lake?

[Mudface 3,483]

29 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

 

 

i see your Henry, 

 

and you raise you with my Miele

 

Nice- needs a cheery face though...

[Captain Turdseye 12,066]

36 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

 

 

i see your Henry, 

 

and you raise you with my Miele

 

 

[easytoslip 963]

48 minutes ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

Was it one of the orange ones?

 

I used to have one of them fucks and I kept it exclusively under the stairs and gave it a boot on a regular basis.

Yes, a nasty piece of work it was , it got its comeuppance in a violent way.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

2 hours ago, chrisbonnie said:

 

 

i see your Henry, 

 

and you raise you with my Miele

 

 

That's the same hoover as we have. Plus our neighbour works at the big Miele Factory in Bielefeld so we got it 30% cheaper and a shit load of bags thrown in for nothing. 

Plus definitely one for this thread, I was all excited when we got it, excited over a fucking Hoover. 

[ATXRED 68]

4 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Kudos for not waking up to piss 20 minutes later...or did you have a dream about swimming in a lake?

To be fair, that only happens when you are trying to go to sleep...at least that's what I've been told.

[Bjornebye 25,594]

5 hours ago, easytoslip said:

I destroyed my one of those smiley faced cunts in a moment of Hoover rage after getting tangled up and the hose thing kept coming out thus turning my flat into ground zero and me covered in shite, I’ve a different one now with the scullery maid to do it, same fuckin’ noise though.

I like the look of Harry. For a start he is green not orange. 

 

Henry is horrible. For one, he is a fucking liar. He gets himself caught against the door frame when the cunt is round so should just spin around the frame when I pull at him. He has started spitting stuff back out on the other side of the room now. Petulant little twat. 

[easytoslip 963]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

I like the look of Harry. For a start he is green not orange. 

 

Henry is horrible. For one, he is a fucking liar. He gets himself caught against the door frame when the cunt is round so should just spin around the frame when I pull at him. He has started spitting stuff back out on the other side of the room now. Petulant little twat. 

Haha this is right , you’ll do it no more I said , I won’t be responsible for my actions, but would he listen.

[Stouffer 1,868]

I'm normally in bed for 2200hrs.

[sir roger 6,005]

I let out a silent cheer when I log onto the GF and there is a new post on the MILF thread.

[Bjornebye 25,594]

1 hour ago, Stouffer said:

I'm normally in bed for 2200hrs.

Bump an old thread that will set it alight for Friday night mate 

[chrisbonnie 903]

3 hours ago, Pistonbroke said:

 

That's the same hoover as we have. Plus our neighbour works at the big Miele Factory in Bielefeld so we got it 30% cheaper and a shit load of bags thrown in for nothing. 

Plus definitely one for this thread, I was all excited when we got it, excited over a fucking Hoover. 

 

They're so bloody good.

 

We have ours nearly 10 years, and even when it did break, Miele collected it, and dropped it back to us, free of charge. Proper service.

 

My brother and parents have all gone through umpteen hoovers in that time to. Idiots, just pay the few bob once and have the best one on the market. 

 

Yep, im old, fuck it, i may have low testosterone these days, but my hoover is the shit!!!!

[Guest Pistonbroke]

31 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

 

They're so bloody good.

 

We have ours nearly 10 years, and even when it did break, Miele collected it, and dropped it back to us, free of charge. Proper service.

 

My brother and parents have all gone through umpteen hoovers in that time to. Idiots, just pay the few bob once and have the best one on the market. 

 

Yep, im old, fuck it, i may have low testosterone these days, but my hoover is the shit!!!!

 

Yeah, we have had Miele hoovers for years now, last one lasted well over 10 years and was still going well, we just wanted a new one. With our neighbour working there he said if you need a new attachment etc he can get it for us under the guarantee or dirt cheap if outside of the guarantee. We are of the same opinion when it comes to any electrical goods, buy from a reputable make like Miele and in the end you'll end up saving money and get a top product. I don't get these cheap skates (have a few mates who never listen to good advice) who think nothing of giving out 50-100 notes whilst out on the lash but by a whole carton of some shitty no name toothpaste (example) because it is on offer for 50 cents a tube. 

[Tony Moanero 14,247]

Charles is boss.

 

[rubble-rouser 2,209]

I’ve a few drinks and I feel like a deflated whoopee cushion that deflated because of a pinhole sized defect, with no human contact 

[VladimirIlyich 7,540]

We've just bought a Henry 'extra.' No idea what the extra means but I expect its Henry's meathead brother.

[Bobby Hundreds 8,276]

My Hoover has got headlights on it. Fuck knows why but it has.

[Bjornebye 25,594]

3 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

My Hoover has got headlights on it. Fuck knows why but it has.

What does it do when you're asleep? 

[Mook 17,642]

3 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

My Hoover has got headlights on it. Fuck knows why but it has.

Is it a Shark? Our one has headlights, handy for hoovering in cupboards.

 

And for pretending you're Michael Knight.

[Mook 17,642]

What the fuck...

 

 

[lifetime fan 10,854]

The bird is working this evening so I’m playing dad. 
 

The youngest starts singing Proud Mary by Tina Turner and I compliment him on his taste in music. 
 

Me: That’s a great song, does mummy listen to that? 

Kid: No. It’s on an advert. Why? 
Me: Because it’s an old song and I was impressed you knew it. 
Kid: I know another old song, it goes “what’s that coming over the hill, is it a monster”? 
 

 

[manwiththestick 3,717]

Had something similar the other day in work, two lads talking about their weekend and one says "Yeah, just stayed in and listened to some of my dads old school rock CD's, you know like Kings of Leon, Blink 182 and stuff like that"

 

I would have questioned his understanding of what rock music was if I wasn't crying too much inside.

[Mook 17,642]

Every night when I go to do the dishes I have to stop & go for a piss first. Like fucking clockwork.