The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Bjornebye]

My mates just posted a pic of him and his mate in the pub before the match drinking a pint and i checked the time.

[Remmie]

Someone in my year at school has become a grandma.

[Ginny]

Ye there's nothing worse than than titty bars - seeing all those girls in their prime strutting about the place half naked. I mean it's really cringe worthy stuff haha wtf

[Captain Turdseye]

I've only ever been into a couple of titty bars and incredibly the Pen & Wig was the more upmarket of the two. Can't remember the name of the other one but it was on Mathew Street after a work day out at the races. It was so bad that me and another lad stood at the bar for one pint, decided that a dance from one of these 'ladies' wasn't worth the five pounds they were asking and left everyone else there while we went round to Slater Street instead.

[Champ]

Did not know this was a thing. Will definitely be seeking it out for the nose

It most certainly is. Nothing more distracting than speaking to a trailing nasal hair

[Rico1304]

Can you get me some stuff from the chemist love?

 

[PestiRed]

It most certainly is. Nothing more distracting than speaking to a trailing nasal hair

I have a nose trimmer but having a wax and not worrying for a few weeks sounds great

[Rico1304]

I have a nose trimmer but having a wax and not worrying for a few weeks sounds great

Petrol?

[PestiRed]

Petrol?

Some of new white hairs could do with a chainsaw to get through them

[Rico1304]

Some of new white hairs could do with a chainsaw to get through them

Ha ha my white hairs jam mine and it's fucking agony!

[Section_31]

Turkish shave this morning, ear hairs singed, nose hairs waxed, eyebrows trimmed, wonderful stuff, gave him a fiver tip. I feel like Sean Connery.

[ZonkoVille77]

Every time my heart beats a bit faster than normal I think I'm about to die

[SammyAftershave]

Turkish shave this morning, ear hairs singed, nose hairs waxed, eyebrows trimmed, wonderful stuff, gave him a fiver tip. I feel like Sean Connery.

'gave him a fiver tip.'

 

Happy ending?

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I'm not just getting old; I'm in danger of becoming extinct.

 

https://uk.style.yahoo.com/these-36-baby-names-could-become-extinct-this-year-115000095.html

 

If you’re about to have a child, why not name it Cyril or Sheila?

These are just two of the names that are set to go extinct this year, according to BabyCentre. The site found there were 36 once-popular baby names that had yet to be registered in the UK in 2017.

Here’s the full list of almost extinct names:

• Angela
• Bertram
• Beverley
• Cecil
• Carol
• Clarence
• Clive
• Cyril
• Debra
• Diane
• Donna
• Dean
• Doris
• Dennis
• Derek
• Duncan
• Elaine
• Ernest
• Geoffrey
• Horace
• Joanne
• Leonard
• Maureen
• Malcolm
• Nigel
• Neville
• Paula
• Roy
• Sally
• Sandra
• Sharon
• Sheila
• Tracey
• Wayne
• Wendy
• Yvonne

[Remmie]

Ear hairs singed? And you pay for this?

[VladimirIlyich]

I'm not just getting old; I'm in danger of becoming extinct.

 

https://uk.style.yahoo.com/these-36-baby-names-could-become-extinct-this-year-115000095.html

If you’re about to have a child, why not name it Cyril or Sheila?

These are just two of the names that are set to go extinct this year, according to BabyCentre. The site found there were 36 once-popular baby names that had yet to be registered in the UK in 2017.

Here’s the full list of almost extinct names:

• Angela
• Bertram
• Beverley
• Cecil
• Carol
• Clarence
• Clive
• Cyril
• Debra
• Diane
• Donna
• Dean
• Doris
• Dennis
• Derek
• Duncan
• Elaine
• Ernest
• Geoffrey
• Horace
• Joanne
• Leonard
• Maureen
• Malcolm
• Nigel
• Neville
• Paula
• Roy
• Sally
• Sandra
• Sharon
• Sheila
• Tracey
• Wayne
• Wendy
• Yvonne

My missus and one of her sisters name are in that,and a cousin has named a recent newborn Cecil! Poor fucker.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

My missus and one of her sisters name are in that,and a cousin has named a recent newborn Cecil! Poor fucker.

Inspired by the great man himself?

 

[TheBitch]

what have you done to your back Rich?

 

I'm just in a constant level of pain, some days it's very painful other days not so painful. I have a sliding scale of how much I want to commit dependent upon the level of pain.

 

The doctors say "It's because I'm tall"

 

Nothing they can do for me, apparently, no, just suck it up and go about your business, in pain.

[stringvest]

I'm just in a constant level of pain, some days it's very painful other days not so painful. I have a sliding scale of how much I want to commit dependent upon the level of pain.

 

The doctors say "It's because I'm tall"

 

Nothing they can do for me, apparently, no, just suck it up and go about your business, in pain.

 

 

Fucking hell, that's a bummer mate.  Will it improve?

[Remmie]

I'm just in a constant level of pain, some days it's very painful other days not so painful. I have a sliding scale of how much I want to commit dependent upon the level of pain.

 

The doctors say "It's because I'm tall"

 

Nothing they can do for me, apparently, no, just suck it up and go about your business, in pain.

Nothing can be done? That sounds like bullshit. See a specialist if you haven't already, at the very least I'm sure the pain can be reduced at least.

 

Do you do any exercises like the founder? What about realignment exercises?

[TheBitch]

Fucking hell, that's a bummer mate.  Will it improve?

 

Upon death, I expect.

[TheBitch]

Nothing can be done? That sounds like bullshit. See a specialist if you haven't already, at the very least I'm sure the pain can be reduced at least.

 

Do you do any exercises like the founder? What about realignment exercises?

The quack just gave me a sheet of A4 paper with a load of stretches drawn on it.

 

"This'll help"

 

Actually getting out and hill walking seemed to free it up and help, but my knees are fucked, I've had one op that seemed great at first, but has reverted to how it was and the other knee feels like the first knee pre-op...

 

If any of that makes sense.

 

Personally I think the whole thing is linked and my knees are fucking my back or vice-versa.

 

Basically I'm now old.

[TheBitch]

Back on topic...

 

I was in work and casually threw out a quiz question of "What colour is the queens blotting paper?"

 

Two young lads in work didn't know what blotting paper was. Young twats.

[Remmie]

The quack just gave me a sheet of A4 paper with a load of stretches drawn on it.

 

"This'll help"

 

Actually getting out and hill walking seemed to free it up and help, but my knees are fucked, I've had one op that seemed great at first, but has reverted to how it was and the other knee feels like the first knee pre-op...

 

If any of that makes sense.

 

Personally I think the whole thing is linked and my knees are fucking my back or vice-versa.

 

Basically I'm now old.

I had a much less serious problem with my back and this guy does a few re-alignment exercises which helped a lot, can't hurt to give them a try:

 

https://www.healththroughposture.co.uk/lowbackpain1/

[Dr Nowt]

Would thoroughly recommend finding a decent osteopath in your area. Would always be my first port of call with anything related to back or neck pain/lack of mobility.

 

Myself, ex, stacks of close friends have all had superb results from one, having all hit various different versions of a brick wall within the NHS. I think it's one of those things which falls between the cracks of what they provide, personally.

 

Was unimpressed by the blatant fearmongering and attempted profiteering I received from a chiropractor first as well, but would freely admit that is the only encounter I've had with one and he doesn't represent them all.