The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[stringvest]

If they are on a landline you can stop these

 

 

 

 

By macheteing every phone in the house before burning the house down. Then move to a different country. It's not so easy getting them stopped on your mobile.

[Jairzinho]

If they are on a landline you can stop these

 

 

 

 

By macheteing every phone in the house before burning the house down. Then move to a different country. It's not so easy getting them stopped on your mobile.

 

Get a Samsung, presumably.

[Chairman Meow]

If their was any justice in the world people who work in outgoing call centres, the companies who own them, all of their share holders and their families should all be put to death.

 

I haven't had an accident and I've never had PPI so please just fuck off. 

 

Posting something for the little things that annoy you thread in the things that make you realise you are getting older thread.

 

 

You getting these on your mobile or landline?

 

Mobile. It's the one I use for business as well so I need to keep the number. 

 

If they are on a landline you can stop these

 

 

 

 

By macheteing every phone in the house before burning the house down. Then move to a different country. It's not so easy getting them stopped on your mobile.

 

If they would allow me ten minutes in their call centre with a Machete I'd certainly stop them calling.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

We're on our second Miele vacuum cleaner. They're ace - the first one lasted years, right through a house rebuild and took dust and gypsum like a trooper.

 

I wouldn't normally rate and compare vacuum cleaners (life's too short) but we had a proper Hoover one and it was sh*t.

 

Miele vacuum cleaners are boss, they are actually made in Bielefeld the city I live in. My neighbour works there and so I got ours for half price, plus if any parts need replacing (none so far) he'll get them for nothing. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

If their was any justice in the world people who work in outgoing call centres, the companies who own them, all of their share holders and their families should all be put to death.

 

I haven't had an accident and I've never had PPI so please just fuck off. 

 

If it's a woman on the line (90% of the time it is, well it is over here in Germany) then ask if they have nice big tits or like sucking cock etc, they'll put you on a black list and hey presto no more calls. These lists are also shared by all the cold calling bastards so they can sort out the suckers who are ripe for targeting. 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I keep getting a call about a road accident, but I haven't had a road accident ?? it the people calling I feel sorry for because they're clearly concerned about my well being.

[memyselfandpie]

1. I'm old enough to remember when females used to smile in photographs, now they just strike a pose and remain stony-faced like Posh spice.

 

2. Baseballs caps are now being referred to as 'Dad hats'.

 

3. You can apparently wear whatever the Fuck you like when you go out now, including caps. I remember the days of having to get out my best clobber and if you didn't look well turned out you didn't get in.

 

Depressing shit.

[Rico1304]

This feels wrong, but here goes anyways:

 

I'm about to treat myself to a new vacuum, so what did your research throw up. All I know is that Dyson have the best adverts and the guy has an English accent.

We went for a Miele one at £200, we've got cats and the one we got has brush for pet hair. No special brush and it's £160. Much better than the Dyson we had before and much cheaper too.

[Rico1304]

I keep getting a call about a road accident, but I haven't had a road accident ?? it the people calling I feel sorry for because they're clearly concerned about my well being.

I had one of those on Friday, said I'd had an accident, he asked if I was injured I said yes, loads. He said how bad and i said they were so bad I died. He carried on for a minute before he realised.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Leaving the oven on after taking out the stuff you are roasting/baking etc, then only realising 4 hours later. Wondered why the kitchen was so fucking warm. 

[PestiRed]

Leaving the oven on after taking out the stuff you are roasting/baking etc, then only realising 4 hours later. Wondered why the kitchen was so fucking warm.

 

Every time I cook, even done it with gas hobs before

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Every time I cook, even done it with gas hobs before

 

I'm normally pretty good, but over the last year I have noticed, or should I say the Missus and kids have, that I'm constantly forgetting to switch the oven and now and again the hob off. Good job the kettle switches itself off or it would end up boiling itself dry. 

 

Microwaves are also a godsend for heating up my cup of tea which I regularly find full and stone cold in the kitchen after forgetting I had made one. 

[SammyAftershave]

Momentarily forgetting your address when collecting your prescription.

[rubble-rouser]

We went for a Miele one at £200, we've got cats and the one we got has brush for pet hair. No special brush and it's £160. Much better than the Dyson we had before and much cheaper too.

 

I've had a couple of Miele cat & dog vacuums - excellent.

[Furmedge]

Having to work out how old I am. "So hang on, it's 2016 now so that makes me......?"

 

Also when on the internet and asks for year of birth using the scrolling through the years button. It's two or three good hard scrolls to hit my year.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Having to work out how old I am. "So hang on, it's 2016 now so that makes me......?"

 

Also when on the internet and asks for year of birth using the scrolling through the years button. It's two or three good hard scrolls to hit my year.

 

It would be easier for me if they were in ascending order. 

[SammyAftershave]

Must make things easy for Stringy to scroll through to the last option.

[Champ]

Having to work out how old I am. "So hang on, it's 2016 now so that makes me......?"

 

Also when on the internet and asks for year of birth using the scrolling through the years button. It's two or three good hard scrolls to hit my year.

 

 

I think, oh, I've probably moved that on too quickly, and discover I've only got back to 1983

[General Dryness]

I've had a couple of Miele cat & dog vacuums - excellent.

If you're having to vacuum up the cats and dogs, you've probably got too many of them.

 

A shovel will probably work better.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Howie's "born Since 1980" thread.

 

Fuck you, Howie.

Fuck you.

[PestiRed]

Howie's "born Since 1980" thread.

 

Fuck you, Howie.

Fuck you.

I find the complete inability to find a decent name quite comforting. Fuck you, young people, your world is shite

[memyselfandpie]

Seen a kid about 11/12 years old riding his bike. Great, a normal kid just like I was, out and about on his bike instead of stuck indoors.

 

Then he whipped out his iPhone and started taking selfies as he was riding.

 

*Sigh*

[Bjornebye]

[Vincent Vega]

Getting excruciating pain in your knee and finding out you have osteoarthritis at the age of 45.

 

Not seeing any benefits to the aging process apart from wisdom.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

When you stop doing the things that you know aren't worth doing, that's a real fucking eye opener. The other night I went for a bevvie, had a few and then the conversation which always comes up, so town... nah we'll just get off, no point staying out. Next thing I know, I'm sitting at home, SCENES.