The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[lifetime fan]

Having to take back your new nasal hair trimmer as it can't cope with the jungle growing in there.

[Dr Nowt]

Having to take back your new nasal hair trimmer as it can't cope with the jungle growing in there.

 

Fucking hell mate, did you hide it inside a vibrator box to lessen your embarassment when you got it out of the bag at the counter!

[The_Goat]

When you get home and are annoyed that you've left a light on.

[Mook]

When you get home and are annoyed that you've left a light on.

Or when you get home and are annoyed that your missus has left all the lights on.

[Liverpool lad]

How laid back I am now

 

Things don't wind me up like they used to, find myself just thinking 'soft cunt' and moving on

[Section_31]

How laid back I am now

 

Things don't wind me up like they used to, find myself just thinking 'soft cunt' and moving on

I heard a saying recently which I thought was spot on.

 

'When I was younger I walked into a room and thought what do these people think of me', now I walk into a room and think 'what do I think of these people?'

[Champ]

How laid back I am now

 

Things don't wind me up like they used to, find myself just thinking 'soft cunt' and moving on

21 minutes ago?

 

Posted Today, 08:29 PM

 

Mentioned this before but the work car park fucks me off

 

Fed up of watching fucking simpletons try and reverse park with a queue of 6 cars behind them

 

The other week, I watched some fucker reverse into a bay with a fucking convoy of us behind the daft prick. He finally gets this Corsa in the bay, then rolls forward to let his missus out because they have parked too close to the wall. They are both finding this amusing whilst the rest of us watch this happen.

 

Between 8 and 9, it is quite busy with people coming and going but some fuckers think they have a right to reverse into a bay to save them all of 20 seconds going up another couple of floors.

 

The general theme is inconsiderate cunts, or borderline thick. I bumped into my dad at the supermarket and ended up at the till with him, the cunt in front of my dad left his card in his car and had to go and retrieve it. The fucker couldn't have moved any slower, like a fucking astronaut the speed of him.

 

Also people who will not let you into a lane. On the way to work today and seen the gap, indicated before I moved then the cunt speeds up to close the gap. Worse of it is that we both ended up at the lights on red. Some fucking simple cunts in the world.

 

Fucking zombies

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I heard a saying recently which I thought was spot on.

 

'When I was younger I walked into a room and thought what do these people think of me', now I walk into a room and think 'what do I think of these people?'

 

That certainly is spot on. 

[lifetime fan]

21 minutes ago?

 

Posted Today, 08:29 PM

 

Mentioned this before but the work car park fucks me off

 

Fed up of watching fucking simpletons try and reverse park with a queue of 6 cars behind them

 

The other week, I watched some fucker reverse into a bay with a fucking convoy of us behind the daft prick. He finally gets this Corsa in the bay, then rolls forward to let his missus out because they have parked too close to the wall. They are both finding this amusing whilst the rest of us watch this happen.

 

Between 8 and 9, it is quite busy with people coming and going but some fuckers think they have a right to reverse into a bay to save them all of 20 seconds going up another couple of floors.

 

The general theme is inconsiderate cunts, or borderline thick. I bumped into my dad at the supermarket and ended up at the till with him, the cunt in front of my dad left his card in his car and had to go and retrieve it. The fucker couldn't have moved any slower, like a fucking astronaut the speed of him.

 

Also people who will not let you into a lane. On the way to work today and seen the gap, indicated before I moved then the cunt speeds up to close the gap. Worse of it is that we both ended up at the lights on red. Some fucking simple cunts in the world.

 

Fucking zombies

 

You should have seen him before.

[lifetime fan]

I heard a saying recently which I thought was spot on.

 

'When I was younger I walked into a room and thought what do these people think of me', now I walk into a room and think 'what do I think of these people?'

 

I find having the general expectation that people are going to be cunts allows you to accept this fact far more easily.

[Liverpool lad]

21 minutes ago?

 

Posted Today, 08:29 PM

 

Mentioned this before but the work car park fucks me off

 

Fed up of watching fucking simpletons try and reverse park with a queue of 6 cars behind them

 

The other week, I watched some fucker reverse into a bay with a fucking convoy of us behind the daft prick. He finally gets this Corsa in the bay, then rolls forward to let his missus out because they have parked too close to the wall. They are both finding this amusing whilst the rest of us watch this happen.

 

Between 8 and 9, it is quite busy with people coming and going but some fuckers think they have a right to reverse into a bay to save them all of 20 seconds going up another couple of floors.

 

The general theme is inconsiderate cunts, or borderline thick. I bumped into my dad at the supermarket and ended up at the till with him, the cunt in front of my dad left his card in his car and had to go and retrieve it. The fucker couldn't have moved any slower, like a fucking astronaut the speed of him.

 

Also people who will not let you into a lane. On the way to work today and seen the gap, indicated before I moved then the cunt speeds up to close the gap. Worse of it is that we both ended up at the lights on red. Some fucking simple cunts in the world.

 

Fucking zombies

 

You see, I just thought they were soft cunts

 

I didn't beep the horn or try to wind them up

[Dr Nowt]

Up at the local dealership yesterday to get a new key card for her car, as I lost the other one and it's been sold.  The lass there was a perfectly nice person, no malice or attitude in her, helpful and friendly, just very noticeably young; talking a load of old bollocks about how she couldn't live in a house with stairs as it would just be like, sooooo tiring to go up them every day, telling me how she recommends me trying travelling as it's dead good, and saying "bless you", constantly.

 

I barely said a word, other than that I had a headache when she asked how comes I was kind of squinting and looking pained, to try not to seem quite as rude.  I could just see my old fella's face when a young lass I brought round the house as a teenager started speaking to him for too long without drawing breath.  That tangible desire to get the fuck away to somewhere quiet.  Frightening how quickly it's happened.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Long Lost Family, best program on the telly.

[Hades]

How laid back I am now

 

Things don't wind me up like they used to, find myself just thinking 'soft cunt' and moving on

Jung said it was the tension between the opposite sides of our personalities that creates the energy of youth. As we become well rounded human beings this energy dissipates and has to find a new source.

[stringvest]

Jung said it was the tension between the opposite sides of our personalities that creates the energy of youth. As we become well rounded human beings this energy dissipates and has to find a new source.

 

I'm not sure I buy into that.  My personalities are constantly sparking off each other, and I'm 103. 

[Dr Nowt]

If anything I have more personalities now. I simply presumed they were all as jaded and listless as the sexual appetite of a 68 year colonel due to having to share the same source.

[Carvalho Diablo]

If anything I have more personalities now. I simply presumed they were all as jaded and listless as the sexual appetite of a 68 year colonel due to having to share the same source.

 

You are legion.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

My daughter and her three mates just left the house to go down the city to party, it is 01:50Am German time!!!!!!!!!!!! They were drinking here first. 

 

Fucking hell, we used to drink until about 9pm then go on the piss until 3am before falling into a coma, my oh my how the times have changed. 

[lifetime fan]

New member of staff has come out today, he's called Keanu and is 21.

 

I wouldn't rent him a 15 video.

[Jairzinho]

Not even "Speed"?

 

Bit harsh as that came out 21 years ago and is possibly why he's called Keanu.

[lifetime fan]

Not even "Speed"?

 

Bit harsh as that came out 21 years ago and is possibly why he's called Keanu.

 

He doesn't look old enough to have sat his GCSE's.

 

And is Speed really 21 years old???

[littletedwest]

girl at work accidentally called me dad earlier when asking for advice with an issue

[Section_31]

Found my first ear hairs today.

[stringvest]

Found my first ear hairs today.

I've been pubic for over 40 years.

[Dave D]

New member of staff has come out today, he's called Keanu and is 21.

 

I wouldn't rent him a 15 video.

 

He wouldnt know what a video is