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The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

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 The fact it's hidden away, isn't too rammed, it's too loud, not full of nobs, perfect. Love the table football in the Star bar it's like an antique.

 

There used to be two swiss lads who would hang around all the fussball tables in Edinburgh and pretend they were shit at first and then score about 8 goals in succesion with their defenders. Don't particualrly remember them making money out of it the oddballs.

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The fact it's hidden away, isn't too rammed, it's too loud, not full of nobs, perfect. Love the table football in the Star bar it's like an antique.

 

There used to be two swiss lads who would hang around all the fussball tables in Edinburgh and pretend they were shit at first and then score about 8 goals in succesion with their defenders. Don't particualrly remember them making money out of it the oddballs.

I never play the Fussball to be honest, I fucking hate cunts who play it and go on like they've won the World Cup every time they score. I'm usually at the bar trying to have a quiet conversation with someone about tits or jazz drummers.

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cant eat what you fancy on your food anymore, like mustard, brown sauce, black pepper, worcestershire sauce or loads of vinegar on your chips, anything that is hot and spicey, 

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Went for a couple of pints after a comedy gig last night and felt hugely out of place as it was wall-to-wall teenagers.

 

To top this off, a group of young girls came over and asked if they could leave their drinks on mine and my mate's table while they went for a fag.

 

We said yes and one of them said "Oh, thank you. You remind me of my Dad."

 

Another saw me wince and said "Trust me, it's a compliment, her Dad's great."

 

The hopeful there may be some tenuous sexual link in her comment reply of "Is your Dad Josef Fritzel?" died on my tongue as I feared ending up in the local paper.

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Went for a couple of pints after a comedy gig last night and felt hugely out of place as it was wall-to-wall teenagers.

 

To top this off, a group of young girls came over and asked if they could leave their drinks on mine and my mate's table while they went for a fag.

 

We said yes and one of them said "Oh, thank you. You remind me of my Dad."

 

Another saw me wince and said "Trust me, it's a compliment, her Dad's great."

 

The hopeful there may be some tenuous sexual link in her comment reply of "Is your Dad Josef Fritzel?" died on my tongue as I feared ending up in the local paper.

 

It's not the girls.... it's the imagining they'd have a clue who Josef Fritzel is that makes you old!

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You're in trouble when Stig sees that post, mate.

 

Aye, we get a load of posh southern English students in my local & they always put Whitesnake & American Pie on before swanning around the boozer like they're the Jazz correspondent for the New York Times.

 

Twats.

I hate that song American pie - any need for it to be song long

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Went for a couple of pints after a comedy gig last night and felt hugely out of place as it was wall-to-wall teenagers.

 

To top this off, a group of young girls came over and asked if they could leave their drinks on mine and my mate's table while they went for a fag.

 

We said yes and one of them said "Oh, thank you. You remind me of my Dad."

 

Another saw me wince and said "Trust me, it's a compliment, her Dad's great."

 

The hopeful there may be some tenuous sexual link in her comment reply of "Is your Dad Josef Fritzel?" died on my tongue as I feared ending up in the local paper.

 

 

ooof!  That's not good Ben.  Have you thought of getting highlights?

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ooof! That's not good Ben. Have you

 

thought of getting highlights?

My highlights are so few in number only Everton feature after me on MOTD.

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ooof!  That's not good Ben.  Have you thought of getting highlights?

Well, that would be classy

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I'm all for equality between the sexes but you have to draw the line somewhere

Exactly, George Michael should be hung by the neck until dead.
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Asking the wife to call me when the weather is on.

 

haha!  I don't know why that made me laugh, but it did.  Actually, that's probably another sign I'm getting older...

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Birthdays. Be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in you, Champ.

 

I remember you saying it was coming up the other day, have a good one, it's all downhill from here etc.

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Going to Chelsea flower show.

 

Been going for years. Had a great day, thanks.

 

Plenty of hipsters there too, you know

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