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The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread


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  • 2 weeks later...

cloggy, even at this remove I can barely leave myself alone at the idea of 80 female Dutch students in the pub.

 

The middle class dream 40 something year old women in front of me on the train most probably won't like it if I go off again.

 

And therein is the feeling older bit; the latter group actually look at me, even if it is in horror, while the former group would pay me no more heed sexually than a sleeping dog.

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Just had a "delivery" from a parcel courier company, except the stupid cunts didn't even knock at my door even once !

 

I'd purposely got up early to take receipt of said item and the cheeky bastards go and do that, to me ?! What the fucking fuck ?

 

As I'm stood at my front door, looking up and down the street for a suspicious looking van driving shithouse, frothing at the mouth in sanguine fury, I glanced at the delivery card; the twats had left it for me with my neighbour two doors up. That poor sod was half asleep himself when he answered the door to me, still had the most ridiculous pair of bergundy pajama's on, but he looks like a 30 year old virgin anyway so I suppose I'll let him off on this occasion.

 

I digress, I would rather the delivery cunts had left a name or number on the card so I could have phoned them up and fucking blasted them.

 

Great start to the fucking day.

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Just had a "delivery" from a parcel courier company, except the stupid cunts didn't even knock at my door even once !

 

I'd purposely got up early to take receipt of said item and the cheeky bastards go and do that, to me ?! What the fucking fuck ?

 

As I'm stood at my front door, looking up and down the street for a suspicious looking van driving shithouse, frothing at the mouth in sanguine fury, I glanced at the delivery card; the twats had left it for me with my neighbour two doors up. That poor sod was half asleep himself when he answered the door to me, still had the most ridiculous pair of bergundy pajama's on, but he looks like a 30 year old virgin anyway so I suppose I'll let him off on this occasion.

 

I digress, I would rather the delivery cunts had left a name or number on the card so I could have phoned them up and fucking blasted them.

 

Great start to the fucking day.

Little did you realise that getting your parcel was going to turn out to be the highlight of your day

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I was in Germany last year and was in a pub with 60 American students, all girls. I was like a kid in a candy shop (I said that to them, and Americanised it for them for shits and giggles.) My mate could see I was getting some attention with my bad American accents which was a great for the ego, so told them I was married with two kids. Not that I would have acted on it. Spent the rest of the night showing them pics of my kids instead. Oh to be young and single again.

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