The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Captain Howdy]

9 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Once you’re over 55; never trust that it’s just a fart, never decline an opportunity to have a pee and never waste an erection even if you’re on your own. 

All true

[Captain Howdy]

27 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Thanks. 

Plan to prepare etc 

[TheBitch]

40 minutes ago, RedKnight said:

Has to be metabolism doesn't it? Yours must have been like a Ferrari and now it's like a Ford.

Feels like Lamborghini to Lada. 

[TheBitch]

16 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Once you’re over 55; never trust that it’s just a fart, never decline an opportunity to have a pee and never waste an erection even if you’re on your own. 

I’m that old now that I read this as…

 

never waste an erection, even if it’s not your own. 
 

 

Night lads, I’m done. 

[Captain Howdy]

2 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

I’m that old now that I read this as…

 

never waste an erection, even if it’s not your own. 
 

 

Night lads, I’m done. 

I’m that old now that I get my sleeping tablets mixed up with my viagra. Sometimes I have to go to bed in the afternoon for 40 wanks 

[Section_31]

Bitch I think the reason you're feeling it is that your highs were higher than most.

 

Me, I've always been fat and tired and birds have never liked me. The only difference between now and when I was six is I've got a house.

[littletedwest]

I'm 41 grandson ( Mrs grandson but he is mine) said " even though nanny is older than you ,you have older hair" she's 51 and doesn't dye her hair 

[Karl_b]

I've just finished Adam Buxton's biography and it was on the side when our nephews visited today. The 10 year old asked if that was me on the cover. He's 50, FFS.

 

 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

The lack of an Oxford comma on that book cover annoys me more than it should.

 

Pretty sure pedantry is another sign of ageing.

[Mudface]

42 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

The lack of an Oxford comma on that book cover annoys me more than it should.

 

Pretty sure pedantry is another sign of ageing.

Where would the comma go? Looks right to me.

 

Pretty sure needless questions about things you don't care about for no clear reason are also another glaring, flashing, fucking sign.

[No2]

3 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Once you’re over 55; never trust that it’s just a fart, never decline an opportunity to have a pee and never waste an erection even if you’re on your own. 

Tory cunt.

[No2]

16 minutes ago, No2 said:

Tory cunt.

@littletedwest Tory supporting Tory cunt 

[TheBitch]

7 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Bitch I think the reason you're feeling it is that your highs were higher than most.

 

Me, I've always been fat and tired and birds have never liked me. The only difference between now and when I was six is I've got a house.

Sat here with my cock in my hand and this post has genuinely made me laugh. 
Section, we’ve been on this forum for over 10 years together now, we’ve seen the highs and lows of the Ibiza thread, it was mainly lows, actually, it was all lows, we’ve been through at least 3break ups together,  I know it was at least 3 because they’re all mine, we’ve seen @RobbieOR’s rep status go from “cooler than Alonsos beard” to “red blob” we’ve almost been married to @melons, well that was me, we’ve been negged by the king of neggers himself, @Leeson, hang on Leeson hasn’t even got his own @

Fuck this site. 
 

Im that old I don’t even know what I meant to say tbh. 

[Karl_b]

22 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

Sat here with my cock in my hand and this post has genuinely made me laugh. 
Section, we’ve been on this forum for over 10 years together now, we’ve seen the highs and lows of the Ibiza thread, it was mainly lows, actually, it was all lows, we’ve been through at least 3break ups together,  I know it was at least 3 because they’re all mine, we’ve seen @RobbieOR’s rep status go from “cooler than Alonsos beard” to “red blob” we’ve almost been married to @melons, well that was me, we’ve been negged by the king of neggers himself, @Leeson, hang on Leeson hasn’t even got his own @

Fuck this site. 
 

Im that old I don’t even know what I meant to say tbh. 

Ok sir, do you know where you are? Can someone get you a cup of tea?

 

 

 

 

PS - fuck @Nick Leeson

[Babb'sBurstNad]

8 hours ago, Mudface said:

Where would the comma go? Looks right to me.

 

Pretty sure needless questions about things you don't care about for no clear reason are also another glaring, flashing, fucking sign.

After "family", otherwise it reads like it's the pop culture of family and '80s.

 

Missed the apostrophe on '80s too. Now I'm livid.

[Chairman Meow]

10 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Bitch I think the reason you're feeling it is that your highs were higher than most.

 

Me, I've always been fat and tired and birds have never liked me. The only difference between now and when I was six is I've got a house.

 

I'm much the same, my peak was shit so the drop off is marginal. 

[Mudface]

35 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

After "family", otherwise it reads like it's the pop culture of family and '80s.

 

Missed the apostrophe on '80s too. Now I'm livid.

Yeah, you're right. I was so angry at the missing apostrophe I kind of overlooked the comma. I hope whoever wrote that sentence dies screaming  

[stringvest]

On 08/04/2022 at 20:22, VladimirIlyich said:

John Aldridge 2 John Holmes x2.

more like Eamonn Holmes these days sadly

[Section_31]

5 hours ago, Karl_b said:

Ok sir, do you know where you are? Can someone get you a cup of tea?

 

 

 

 

PS - fuck @Nick Leeson

The sir is dead isn't he? Or did we track him down?

[RobbieOR]

9 hours ago, TheBitch said:

Sat here with my cock in my hand and this post has genuinely made me laugh. 
Section, we’ve been on this forum for over 10 years together now, we’ve seen the highs and lows of the Ibiza thread, it was mainly lows, actually, it was all lows, we’ve been through at least 3break ups together,  I know it was at least 3 because they’re all mine, we’ve seen @RobbieOR’s rep status go from “cooler than Alonsos beard” to “red blob” we’ve almost been married to @melons, well that was me, we’ve been negged by the king of neggers himself, @Leeson, hang on Leeson hasn’t even got his own @

Fuck this site. 
 

Im that old I don’t even know what I meant to say tbh. 

 

I was 16 then. Im 30 now. A scary thought.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Settling in for the evening to watch the big fight, then falling asleep and missing it.

 

Should have had an afternoon nap.

[Section_31]

On 16/04/2022 at 14:51, RobbieOR said:

 

I was 16 then. Im 30 now. A scary thought.

 

"Ever since I can remember, I always wanted to be on the GF. I remember once I told some kids from the neighborhood about AC Slatering. The next day, they carried my mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was out of respect."

[Bjornebye]

Catching up on TOTP2 1996 from earlier. Said to my bird that Louise Wener from Sleeper was my dream girl. "Oh yeah you and an indie bird sat here wanking over Oasis trying to out-do each other on Popmaster great" haha she's spot on unfortunately. 

[Stouffer]

Not getting to the garden centre yesterday and having to wait until next weekend to get that acer that I really fancy.

[Captain Willard]

I have taken my daughter and her freind to a theme park with insane rollercoasters. Pretty sure I’m the oldest person on every ride so far.