The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Bjornebye]

42 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

When you start sitting on your bollocks.

Terrifies me this, how does it not just aways happen? Blows my mind. It's like taking for granted drinking out of a bottle or glass, how do people not knock more of their own teeth out? I've got a huge wooden coffee table in-front of my couch, I know exactly where it is yet everyday I hit either my knee on it or stub my toe. 

[Special K]

I mowed the lawn yesterday evening. Got up this morning, opened the bathroom door and my shoulder and neck just went. I've been in fucking agony all day.

[dandyman]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

Bent over the other week while cleaning the car and did a little wee.

Did you manage to stand up ok though?!

[General Dryness]

31 minutes ago, dandyman said:

Did you manage to stand up ok though?!

He did, but in doing so definitely made that "argh" sound we all make when moving from one body position to another.

[Section_31]

10 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

He did, but in doing so definitely made that "argh" sound we all make when moving from one body position to another.

To be fair I don't do that I tend to swear instead. Every single time I bend I say "fuck!"

[Bruce Spanner]

4 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

To be fair I don't do that I tend to swear instead. Every single time I bend I say "fuck!"

Yoga/Pilates a couple of times a week will genuinely do you wonders.

 

You don’t need to go to sessions there are plenty on YouTube you can do at home.

 

I wish I’d have started years ago, changes everything.

[Captain Turdseye]

6 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Yoga/Pilates a couple of times a week will genuinely do you wonders.

 

You don’t need to go to sessions there are plenty on YouTube you can do at home.

 

I wish I’d have started years ago, changes everything.

Where do you find the time? I’m unemployed and still wouldn’t have the time to be doing half the stuff you do. 

[Bruce Spanner]

2 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Where do you find the time? I’m unemployed and still wouldn’t have the time to be doing half the stuff you do. 

[Bjornebye]

McLovin was 40 yesterday 

 

 

 

[TheBitch]

Told the new starter in work that I saw the Longpigs at V96. 
 

He didn’t know who the Longpigs are, which was acceptable. 
 

What wasn’t acceptable was that he was born the year after I was at V96. 
 

Cunt. 

[Section_31]

31 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

Told the new starter in work that I saw the Longpigs at V96. 
 

He didn’t know who the Longpigs are, which was acceptable. 
 

What wasn’t acceptable was that he was born the year after I was at V96. 
 

Cunt. 

They teach 9/11 in history now. Mad.

[TheBitch]

Just now, Section_31 said:

They teach 9/11 in history now. Mad.

Fucks sake. 

[YorkshireRed]

Factoring in still being fucked up to Wednesday next week as a result of a planned session tomorrow. 

[Remmie]

6 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Factoring in still being fucked up to Wednesday next week as a result of a planned session tomorrow. 

Drink 5 or 6 pints of water - before you go out. Much better than relying on drunken YR to remember to drink water at the end of the night.

 

Severely reduces the affect and longevity of a hangover. In my case at least.

[YorkshireRed]

11 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Drink 5 or 6 pints of water - before you go out. Much better than relying on drunken YR to remember to drink water at the end of the night.

 

Severely reduces the affect and longevity of a hangover. In my case at least.

Good advice. When I remember to do that, it certainly helps. 

[Remmie]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

Good advice. When I remember to do that, it certainly helps. 

You will need the toilet constantly though from the get go. A shitty downside but easily worth making.

[manwiththestick]

17 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Good advice. When I remember to do that, it certainly helps. 

I have on occasions filled a few glasses of water before going out and left them in the kitchen for when I come home so I don't forget.

[TheBitch]

8 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

I have on occasions filled a few glasses of water before going out and left them in the kitchen for when I come home so I don't forget.

Then got so hammered you didn’t make it to the kitchen and went straight to bed without any water whatsoever. 
 

I’ve seen this movie before. 

[lifetime fan]

8 hours ago, TheBitch said:

Fucks sake. 

Took the boys to the beach today with the missus and her mate and kids. 
 

Playing water balls with the kids and the family next to us on the beach turn around and said “it’s lovely to see Grandad playing with them”. 
 

Fucking cunts. 

[TheBitch]

Hahahahahaha. Ouch. 

[lifetime fan]

Forty fucking one. 
 

Cunts. 

[VladimirIlyich]

3 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Forty fucking one. 
 

Cunts. 

There are more than 41 cunts in this country.I'd say more like 41 million. 

Happy birthday you young whippersnapper.

[General Dryness]

7 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Forty fucking one. 
 

Cunts. 

 

[Stouffer]

I just nearly choked eating tagliata; I'm essentially that old now I can't even chew steak properly. 

[lifetime fan]

18 hours ago, General Dryness said:

 

I’d put serious money on the cunt who said it being older than me too. 
 

Still not calmed down or seen the funny side.