The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Elite]

You need a mattress like a nice pair of tits. Firm and not weighed down by the hardships of life.

[manwiththestick]

3 hours ago, Mook said:

I've ordered slippers.

 

Our new house is quite cold & sitting at my desk all day is fucking freezing, plus I keep standing on the kids fucking toys.

 

I'm disgusted with myself.

That's a slippery slope. I have never had slippers unless I did as a very young lad and can't remember but they're a big no for me. Same with flip flops or those other types (sliders?), never had, never will.

[Harry's Lad]

2 hours ago, General Dryness said:

They remember if you mistreat them, and take their revenge by kicking fuck out of you while you're asleep. 

And stinking the house out.

[Harry's Lad]

2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

My memory foam mattress unfortunately remembers I'm fat. It develops what can only be described as 'a pit' where I've been sleeping and we have to rotate it now and then so it can have some respite. It's some Silent Night advert style shit. 

That's why we didn't get one.

It'd be flat on my side inside a week.

We got a pocket sprung one. 6000 springs and I can feel every fucking one of them.

[sir roger]

Let the wife pick the last bed in Dreamers and she went way over budget and I need a run up and a modified Fosbury Flop to get onto it.

It is fab though.

[Megadrive Man]

On 17/11/2020 at 12:34, manwiththestick said:

I remember in my local in the mid to late nineties the payphone would always ring, often Saturday afternoon/evenings it would always be someone's bird or wife calling to get them home. Whoever would pick up the phone would go "just check for you love" and shout across the pub "is John in here" whilst looking directly at John who's shaking his head. "No love, not here, think he was in earlier but must have left"

 

Simpler times.

 

One of the shittest things on nights out over the last 10 to 15 years has been the amount of times a mate has ended up spending the whole night texting or phoning their mrs and flaking off early or just slunk around in a mood on the night. The clinginess that mobile phones create is definitely a major negative. 

[littletedwest]

On 17/11/2020 at 12:34, manwiththestick said:

I remember in my local in the mid to late nineties the payphone would always ring, often Saturday afternoon/evenings it would always be someone's bird or wife calling to get them home. Whoever would pick up the phone would go "just check for you love" and shout across the pub "is John in here" whilst looking directly at John who's shaking his head. "No love, not here, think he was in earlier but must have left"

 

Simpler times.

When I started work I gave me emergency contact if they couldn't call home of my local as my dad was always there.

I can still remember the number off the top of my head

[General Dryness]

Just looked in the mirror and couldn't help but notice that I'm starting to resemble a bald Jim Royle. Ace.

 

 

[easytoslip]

Just watching various World Cup games on ITV4, SA World Cup 10 years ago, fucksake. 

[littletedwest]

Watching back to the future 2, set in the distant future, 5 years ago

[Pete]

3 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Watching back to the future 2, set in the distant future, 5 years ago

And still no working hover board or self drying jacket. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Dismantled a wardrobe and I can already tell my back is going to be in agony tomorrow. 

[Section_31]

I always mishear the Van Halen lyric as "I get up!! And then I sit back down." And it makes me happy.

[Harry's Lad]

1 hour ago, easytoslip said:

Just watching various World Cup games on ITV4, SA World Cup 10 years ago, fucksake. 

The racket those vuvuzela things made was fucking awful.

Drove me mad. 

[easytoslip]

12 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

The racket those vuvuzela things made was fucking awful.

Drove me mad. 

Yeah, shit that was. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

1 hour ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Dismantled a wardrobe and I can already tell my back is going to be in agony tomorrow. 

 

The only way I'm moving house ever again is if I can afford to just pick the furniture out online, have someone else deliver/build it, and hire movers to do the rest.

 

So never then.

[Paulie Dangerously]

10 minutes ago, Aw Geez said:

 

The only way I'm moving house ever again is if I can afford to just pick the furniture out online, have someone else deliver/build it, and hire movers to do the rest.

 

So never then.

I was desperate for the couple buying ours to want it so I could leave it. 

 

Just found some fella on Facebook to take it, and all our other shite, to the tip for £50. Shut up and take my money. 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, easytoslip said:

Just watching various World Cup games on ITV4, SA World Cup 10 years ago, fucksake. 

Horrible memories of the Spain v Switzerland game as it was on the day we went to see my Mum's last surviving brother in Fazakerley hospital as he'd had a heart attack. Just as we got to the hospital he had another one and passed away before she could see him. Always sticks in my mind that horrible day.

[easytoslip]

4 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Horrible memories of the Spain v Switzerland game as it was on the day we went to see my Mum's last surviving brother in Fazakerley hospital as he'd had a heart attack. Just as we got to the hospital he had another one and passed away before she could see him. Always sticks in my mind that horrible day.

Sorry to hear that, it's weird how something quite irrelevant reminds you of something that is meaningful. I know exactly what you mean. 

[Gruntfuttock]

I can have the Flu vaccine this weekend! 

[tokyojoe]

1 hour ago, Gruntfuttock said:

I can have the Flu vaccine this weekend! 

Same here! Hopefully get to see my favourite nurse.

[Karl_b]

Pah, I had my flu jab weeks ago!

 

I think I'm about 18 months in to an existential mid-life crisis. I find myself wondering what I'm doing with my life, whether I've made completely the wrong career choices and am I now stuck with it because it's so hard to reverse out of when you have a mortgage and shit. I find myself thinking about mortality too much, and worrying about being old and frail. I worry that we've probably missed our chance to have kids and might regret it. I hate so many things, mostly people. I feel utterly trapped by circumstance and the mechanisms of society. I worry that this all makes me sound like a whiny bastard.

 

* Sigh *

 

Getting older man, it sucks.

[Stouffer]

59 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

Pah, I had my flu jab weeks ago!

 

I think I'm about 18 months in to an existential mid-life crisis. I find myself wondering what I'm doing with my life, whether I've made completely the wrong career choices and am I now stuck with it because it's so hard to reverse out of when you have a mortgage and shit. I find myself thinking about mortality too much, and worrying about being old and frail. I worry that we've probably missed our chance to have kids and might regret it. I hate so many things, mostly people. I feel utterly trapped by circumstance and the mechanisms of society. I worry that this all makes me sound like a whiny bastard.

 

* Sigh *

 

Getting older man, it sucks.

It's not just you Karl; that's how it is nowadays. 

[Bruce Spanner]

1 hour ago, Karl_b said:

Pah, I had my flu jab weeks ago!

 

I think I'm about 18 months in to an existential mid-life crisis. I find myself wondering what I'm doing with my life, whether I've made completely the wrong career choices and am I now stuck with it because it's so hard to reverse out of when you have a mortgage and shit. I find myself thinking about mortality too much, and worrying about being old and frail. I worry that we've probably missed our chance to have kids and might regret it. I hate so many things, mostly people. I feel utterly trapped by circumstance and the mechanisms of society. I worry that this all makes me sound like a whiny bastard.

 

* Sigh *

 

Getting older man, it sucks.

Buy a leatherjacket and have an affair with the nanny like the rest of us.

[VladimirIlyich]

36 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Buy a leatherjacket and have an affair with the nanny like the rest of us.

Will a duffel coat and a hand job off a granny do?