The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[mattyq]

29 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

Not knowing whach records have charted for the past 30 years.

Or caring

[tokyojoe]

3 minutes ago, mattyq said:

Or caring

Very true.

[Section_31]

Went to boots the other day and my shopping list consisted of multivitamins, anusol, and spray to stop my outer ear itching.

[Bjornebye]

16 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Went to boots the other day and my shopping list consisted of multivitamins, anusol, and spray to stop my outer ear itching.

And a thimble of course 

[Pete]

Having to go for a piss in the middle of the night when the cat has pounced on you and wants feeding. 

[lifetime fan]

When you now veet your balls not to get more blowjobs but to get rid of the grey pubes. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

The kids I currently teach didn't know who Mo Farah was. When I spoke about the Olympics it dawned on me that none of them were born in 2012.

[Rico1304]

I’m having a delivery from M&S tomorrow.  New slippers and an electric blanket. 

[Elite]

3 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I’m having a delivery from M&S tomorrow.  New slippers and an electric blanket. 

Make sure you dont piss the bed.

[Rico1304]

3 minutes ago, Elite said:

Make sure you dont piss the bed.

It’s ok, we’ve got a downspout 

[Elite]

Just now, Rico1304 said:

It’s ok, we’ve got a downspout 

Make sure you don't leave your new slippers underneath it.

[VladimirIlyich]

8 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I’m having a delivery from M&S tomorrow.  New slippers and an electric blanket. 

I'd prefer electric slippers and a new blanket.

[johnsusername]

16 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I’m having a delivery from M&S tomorrow.  New slippers and an electric blanket. 

[Rico1304]

I used to knock about with a bloke who regularly pissed himself after getting pissed.  He used to say his wife slept in the shallow end.  

[RJ Fan club]

3 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

The kids I currently teach didn't know who Mo Farah was. When I spoke about the Olympics it dawned on me that none of them were born in 2012.

Olympics are great for measuring age.

 

I did a masters between 2008-2010. 
 

When I was sitting one of my final exams, a three hour job, I knew by then I’d have to strategically pace my drinking. I decided I could only open my bottle of Coke with 30 minutes to go.

 

Of course as soon as I drank it, I needed a piss and badly.

 

As I was contemplating the need for this piss and having finished as I was a 30 year old swat,  I looked around for some reason and upon seeing loads of 21/22 years olds in the exam hall I thought... most of these twats in here weren’t  even born when the Seoul Olympics were on. 
 

Now I manage, basically a younger version of me. He was born in 1995. Makes me sick the times I ask a question and follow up with...  of course you weren’t even fucking born. 

 

[Section_31]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

I used to knock about with a bloke who regularly pissed himself after getting pissed.  He used to say his wife slept in the shallow end.  

Bloke who was married to my cousin years ago used to piss on stuff when he was drunk. He came home once and pissed on the kids' X Box and broke it. Another time he was working as a labourer in the north east and sharing a room with six lads, he came back one night and started pissing on them so they beat the shit out of him.

[manwiththestick]

I  (don't) remember years back going on a night out in town with the new girlfriend (now wife) we stayed in the adephi and the room had these massive velvet blackout curtains and apparently I woke I the night feeling why way around the room and getting tangled in the curtains, she turned the light out I there is was pissing all over the curtains, windows, everything then got in bed like nothing happened.

 

I bet the cleaners never noticed or cleaned up. 

[lifetime fan]

1 hour ago, manwiththestick said:

I  (don't) remember years back going on a night out in town with the new girlfriend (now wife) we stayed in the adephi and the room had these massive velvet blackout curtains and apparently I woke I the night feeling why way around the room and getting tangled in the curtains, she turned the light out I there is was pissing all over the curtains, windows, everything then got in bed like nothing happened.

 

I bet the cleaners never noticed or cleaned up. 

You’re @Rico1304 secret account. 

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, manwiththestick said:

I  (don't) remember years back going on a night out in town with the new girlfriend (now wife) we stayed in the adephi and the room had these massive velvet blackout curtains and apparently I woke I the night feeling why way around the room and getting tangled in the curtains, she turned the light out I there is was pissing all over the curtains, windows, everything then got in bed like nothing happened.

 

I bet the cleaners never noticed or cleaned up. 

Judging from Trip Advisor I think you are probably correct.

[Stouffer]

I own clothes from Marks & Spencer.

[tokyojoe]

8 hours ago, Stouffer said:

I own clothes from Marks & Spencer.

So do I. And I had a cup of Horlicks last night.

[Champ]

Showing off alert

I booked one of those gym assessments today.

It started with standing on a machine that measured your weight and all kinds of other things.

My metabolic age came out at 42! I couldn’t be happier!!
I’ll probably get run over by a bus tomorrow 

[mars]

Women from the 90s appearing in the retro beauties thread.

[Champ]

12 minutes ago, mars said:

Women from the 90s appearing in the retro beauties thread.

It’s 30 years ago

[Champ]

55 minutes ago, Champ said:

Showing off alert

I booked one of those gym assessments today.

It started with standing on a machine that measured your weight and all kinds of other things.

My metabolic age came out at 42! I couldn’t be happier!!
I’ll probably get run over by a bus tomorrow 

Being so excited about hearing that you’re probably getting something right is very definitely a sign of getting older