The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Dr Nowt]

Went the shop before and I note they now do a coffee version of the class-leading chocolate caramel digestive.

 

Most exciting occurence of my week to date.

[Tony Moanero]

3 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

 

Unfortunately not. I've backheeled myself in the bollocks for the faux pas.

Good to hear, mate.

[SammyAftershave]

Aye, I too am heartened to hear you eventually got the job done.

[Chairman Meow]

Maybe this should actually be in a separate "things that make you realise you've been in the motor trade" thread.

 

Had one of the kids at Uni asking why I was limping and ended up rattling off the list of bits of my body which are problematic.

 

Right knee is fucked to the point it never has any moment where it isn't sore, just that the pain varies, left knee is intermittently painful through general wear and tear, both collarbones have had fractures and give me intermittent pain and I also seem to have some kind of nerve damage in the left one. My neck hurts intermittently, I have 2 dodgy discs in my back which also seems to tie in with a dose of sciatica and I'm now fairly certain I am starting to experience the beginnings of arthritis because now whenever my legs or back get cold I get severe pain and the joints in my hand ache if I let them get cold.

 

So as far as I can tell, it's only my upper and lower arms which don't have any issues yet.

 

Steer clear of manual labour kids. It's not good for you. 

[cloggypop]

On 11/3/2018 at 2:32 PM, Jose Jones said:

Just back from seeing the Dead Kennedys. Jello Biafra is 60 and still absolutely fucking cool.

Pull yer selves together.

He hasn't sang for them in decades though. Are you sure you didn't see Jello Biafra & The Guantanamo School Of Medicine? Easy to forget when you're getting on. 

[Jose Jones]

33 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

He hasn't sang for them in decades though. Are you sure you didn't see Jello Biafra & The Guantanamo School Of Medicine? Easy to forget when you're getting on. 

Ha, what a dickhead. In my defence I was very very drunk.

[cloggypop]

2 minutes ago, Jose Jones said:

Ha, what a dickhead. In my defence I was very very drunk.

Too drunk to fuck? 

[Mook]

My old school class had a reunion recently & there was an article in the local paper back home. My Dad's cut it out & sent it up to me, the bastard. This bird who I thought was like Marilyn Monroe when I was 12 & who I had my first snog with was there & she has not aged well at all (she'll be 40 now), I really wish I could un-see it.

 

Another bird who I had a mad crush on later on at school also turned up & she's a swamp donkey now as well, devastating stuff.

[Section_31]

When you scratch something and skin falls off. 

[Section_31]

2 minutes ago, Mook said:

My old school class had a reunion recently & there was an article in the local paper back home. My Dad's cut it out & sent it up to me, the bastard. This bird who I thought was like Marilyn Monroe when I was 12 & who I had my first snog with was there & she has not aged well at all (she'll be 40 now), I really wish I could un-see it.

 

An other bird who I had a mad crush on later on at school also turned up & she's a swamp donkey now as well, devastating stuff.

Birds have a tremendous ability to 'swap' fitness as they get older. I've seen some stunners who were proper hounds back in the day, and former homecoming Queens who look like Bella Emberg.  

[Mook]

1 minute ago, Section_31 said:

Birds have a tremendous ability to 'swap' fitness as they get older. I've seen some stunners who were proper hounds back in the day, and former homecoming Queens who look like Bella Emberg.  

No 'swapping' had taken place, they were all absolute mutants.

[Section_31]

6 minutes ago, Mook said:

No 'swapping' had taken place, they were all absolute mutants.

Deffo happens though. Birds who've been rough when they were young and then look nice when they're older though are always a bit odd, they can never quite believe they're fit and tend to be a wee bit unhinged in the lack of confidence stakes, I speak from experience. 

[Remmie]

5 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Deffo happens though. Birds who've been rough when they were young and then look nice when they're older though are always a bit odd, they can never quite believe they're fit and tend to be a wee bit unhinged in the lack of confidence stakes, I speak from experience. 

Hadn't realised you'd transitioned, Mark. 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Developing shed envy.

 

"Double doors and internal lighting? Phwoar!"

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

If I don’t shave my head for a week I look like my Dad. 

[Jennings]

Eh!! WTF!! I used to be younger than Noel Edmonds. What the fuck happened?

[Aventus]

On 11/12/2018 at 3:58 PM, Mook said:

My old school class had a reunion recently & there was an article in the local paper back home. My Dad's cut it out & sent it up to me, the bastard. This bird who I thought was like Marilyn Monroe when I was 12 & who I had my first snog with was there & she has not aged well at all (she'll be 40 now), I really wish I could un-see it.

 

Another bird who I had a mad crush on later on at school also turned up & she's a swamp donkey now as well, devastating stuff.

Maybe you're just a bunch of bad nonces that prefer girls when they are in high school. 

 

[Section_31]

Getting told off by your Mrs because your skin keeps flaking on the floor. 

 

Buying work shoes because they have anti-slip soles. 

 

 

[Elite]

41 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Getting told off by your Mrs because your skin keeps flaking on the floor. 

 

Buying work shoes because they have anti-slip soles. 

 

 

Are the flakes slippy?

[TheHowieLama]

#antislipsouls

[Mook]

40 in a couple of months

My hair is going very thin on top

Went to the pub on Saturday night & my missus was saying she felt too old to be in there (she's 9 years younger than me)

I've started to think about my Will

I often see young birds on the telly now & just think they look like twats, not even a twitch

I tutted at a boy snorting bingo in the toilet in the boozer at the weekend

I like getting the living room to myself so I can stick some jazz on & think about the universe

Pissing is starting to become a real hassle

 

[Section_31]

Swearing when you see a price tag.

[Champ]

2 hours ago, Mook said:

40 in a couple of months

My hair is going very thin on top

Went to the pub on Saturday night & my missus was saying she felt too old to be in there (she's 9 years younger than me)

I've started to think about my Will

I often see young birds on the telly now & just think they look like twats, not even a twitch

I tutted at a boy snorting bingo in the toilet in the boozer at the weekend

I like getting the living room to myself so I can stick some jazz on & think about the universe

Pissing is starting to become a real hassle

 

Wills are not about age as such. You’ve got kids, get them bloody sorted out! 

[Section_31]

Wanting a watch with a compass on even though you never go anywhere.

[Champ]

34 minutes ago, Champ said:

Wills are not about age as such. You’ve got kids, get them bloody sorted out! 

And while you’re at it get your Powers of Attorney done.

 

Dull but very important