The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Anny Road]

Do you drink much before you go to bed Anny? Or are you stressed? Both could be causes. But yeah, middle age and the prostate deffo gets weaker.

Stressd to fuck.

I tried to get jobs as a pleb. Carrying wood. Stacking shelves. Never even got an interview.

Now I am an international commercial manager for a new company.

Lucky if I get 4 hours a night. Solid, probably 7/8 total but half of that is fighting to sleep.

[dandyman]

walking out of pubs.

I try not to drink these days but when in company and I’ve had enough I just fuck off.

I left a place last night after a curry and beers and just fucked off to bed.

Been told today that was rude. .

Snap!!

 

I’ll be honest for a good few years now when I’ve had enough I just leave without saying anything to anyone (except if I’m just out with 1 mate)

 

That can be whether I’m pissed or just bored

 

Is it rude, maybe, but I’d rather just go then go through a round of goodbyes etc

 

I put it down to a low boredom / bullshit threshold

 

Crack on though, leave when you’re done.

[manwiththestick]

Just go the pub on your own, you can leave when you want.

[VladimirIlyich]

Just go the pub on your own, you can leave when you want.

Or don't go at all is the best option.

[A Red]

Getting a camper van next week, going to put a sticker on it "adventure before dementia"

[Captain Turdseye]

I’m having to change the battery in my nose hair trimmer more often.  

[littletedwest]

I now work with some one who was born after the sopranos started.

Also explaining that when I was a kid the song 1999 was set in the future 

[Paulie Dangerously]

When your Uni cohorts unanimously ask and vote for you to be their student representative making you think that they see you as a responsible and organised equal but later a 21 year old girl tells you it's because "You're like everyone's dad"

[lifetime fan]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I’m having to change the battery in my nose hair trimmer more often.  

 

I’m now having to pluck my eyebrows. They’re starting to grow out of my forehead for fucksake. 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I’m having to change the battery in my nose hair trimmer more often.  

Maybe I'm a masochist, but I prefer plucking them. There's something satisfying about the fact it makes my nose run and I start sneezing; I feel alive!.

[lifetime fan]

32 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Maybe I'm a masochist, but I prefer plucking them. There's something satisfying about the fact it makes my nose run and I start sneezing; I feel alive!.

‘Start’ sneezing? I’m still going days later if I start to pluck. 

Might have something to do with plucking out clumps rather than single hairs though. 

[littletedwest]

7 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

When your Uni cohorts unanimously ask and vote for you to be their student representative making you think that they see you as a responsible and organised equal but later a 21 year old girl tells you it's because "You're like everyone's dad"

I had it were a girl at work accidentally called me dad. 

[Section_31]

Only buying coats with hoods.

[lifetime fan]

Arranging to go on a date with a woman in her mid 40’s! 

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:

Arranging to go on a date with a woman in her mid 40’s! 

Make sure you've got plenty of ice in the freezer. You'll need it to dip your cock in when you get home.

 

Older women are animals.

[Section_31]

Sleep used to get in the way of life, now life gets in the way of sleep.

[Rushies tash]

Having a close work colleague in her 20s calling me her "work dad".

[Skidfingers McGonical]

8 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Arranging to go on a date with a woman in her mid 40’s! 

Did that in my 20’s.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

I was 38 with a women 30 and she acted like I was ancient. 

 

Mind you the pipe, slipper and Horlicks didn’t help.

 

Although sometimes she enjoyed my pipe.

[manwiththestick]

Trying to organise an impromptu afternoon in the pub.

 

My local was doing an Oktoberfest homage this weekend, it slipped me by until I seen a post on Facebook earlier that all pints were £1.75 all day today. Sent out texts to see if anyone fancies it and got nothing. Too short notice, plans already made, working tomorrow etc. One of my mates declined because they don't do "normal" beers like Fosters or Carling.

 

Life feels over.

 

 

[Remmie]

12 hours ago, manwiththestick said:

Trying to organise an impromptu afternoon in the pub.

 

My local was doing an Oktoberfest homage this weekend, it slipped me by until I seen a post on Facebook earlier that all pints were £1.75 all day today. Sent out texts to see if anyone fancies it and got nothing. Too short notice, plans already made, working tomorrow etc. One of my mates declined because they don't do "normal" beers like Fosters or Carling.

 

Life feels over.

 

 

What's normal about Fosters and Carling? I think he meant pig's phlegm

[Remmie]

What a cunts trick to pay homage to Oktoberfest by offering that shite as beer. I'm going to kick the fuck out of a wombat for that. Fumin'. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

I’m slower getting started in the morning than a 1980’s Lada in January

[Ginny]

On 10/12/2018 at 9:42 AM, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

I was 38 with a women 30 and she acted like I was ancient. 

 

Mind you the pipe, slipper and Horlicks didn’t help.

 

Although sometimes she enjoyed my pipe.

Some bird in work is all over me. I’m 37 and I reckon she is about 22. I reckon I look about 8 years younger than I am. She’s always messaging me on the office communicator thing. She looks so young. Slim, no fat on her, perfect ass and tits .... someone help me! 

[TheBitch]

15 minutes ago, Ginny said:

Some bird in work is all over me. I’m 37 and I reckon she is about 22. I reckon I look about 8 years younger than I am. She’s always messaging me on the office communicator thing. She looks so young. Slim, no fat on her, perfect ass and tits .... someone help me! 

Smash 'er lad.