The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Going out tonight with a group for a meal. A curry. Great I said. What time is the table booked for? 10.30pm was the reply.

No way can I eat a full curry at 10.30pm. Means we wont get home till midnight and I'll be rolling around the bed farting and burping and eating Rennies. Means Sunday is fucked was planning early gym.

 

Rewind 20 years. Would still be eating at 4.30am

 

You could always just stick to good old British Naan Bread. That way you would avoid the above mentioned problems and boost the high profile of British Naan Bread.  

[Alan Sex]

I wonder if she shaves her fanni.

Easy to find out - just grab her by the pussi.

[lifetime fan]

The barber flashing the mirror past you as you try to see you crown.

[Furmedge]

Targeted adverts on Tapatalk. I was born a whisper before 1982 but they send me this advert with this picture.

 

[General Dryness]

You're an old cunt. Get with the program.

[Furmedge]

You're an old cunt. Get with the program.

Whippersnappers with no respect for their elders. In my day we'd have you cleaning chimneys for that kind of insolence.

[General Dryness]

Whippersnappers with no respect for their elders. In my day we'd have you cleaning chimneys for that kind of insolence.

Better than getting bummed by Cyril Smith I suppose.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Better than getting bummed by Cyril Smith I suppose.

 

If you need to open up GD we won't judge. 

[Elite]

If you need to open up GD we won't judge.

Funnily enough, Cyril said that to him as well.

[Duncan Clench]

I think I might need an eye test. How long am I supposed to wait before I finally get round to booking one? Was thinking 4 years.

[General Dryness]

If you need to open up GD we won't judge.

There's not much to tell.

 

The cunt never phoned me afterwards.

[Furmedge]

I think I might need an eye test. How long am I supposed to wait before I finally get round to booking one? Was thinking 4 years.

Someone's keen.

[Captain Turdseye]

I've asked for pyjamas for Christmas.

[Total Longo]

I put some socks on when i got up this morning as i knew the bathroom floor would be freezing. Had a wee and then proceeded to get in the shower with aforementioned socks on. 

 

Woeful stuff.

[lifetime fan]

I've asked for pyjamas for Christmas.

Fucking weirdo.

[lifetime fan]

Feeling the cold.

[Tony Moanero]

Pyjamas, dressing gowns and slippers are boss.

[Champ]

Pyjamas, dressing gowns and slippers are boss.

One of life's small pleasures is padding around in your jamas if you're not rushing out in a morning

[lifetime fan]

You're all wrong uns.

 

Have the heating on and walk around bollocko. A feeling of freedom and joy.

[Tony Moanero]

I absolutely hate central heating and sitting in hot, dry and airless rooms.

[lifetime fan]

I absolutely hate central heating and sitting in hot, dry and airless rooms.

The window is always open in ours.

 

She wants to be hot but 'not too hot'.

 

Turn the fucking heating down then!

[Tony Moanero]

The window is always open in ours.

 

She wants to be hot but 'not too hot'.

 

Turn the fucking heating down then!

I'd switch the heating off and tell her to put a coat on.

[Captain Turdseye]

You're all wrong uns.

 

Have the heating on and walk around bollocko. A feeling of freedom and joy.

Wait till you've got kids, Col. You even have to close the bathroom door while having a shit.

[Mook]

Wait till you've got kids, Col. You even have to close the bathroom door while having a shit.

 

Never mind having a shit, he'll go fucking spare when he realises that his sex life is pretty much over.

[Total Longo]

Wait till you've got kids, Col. You even have to close the bathroom door while having a shit.

 

Erm, no you don't.