Nicknames

[Section_31]

Me and my mate used to knock around with some people from my old job and one was a bird called Jenny who had a boyfriend called Leon. I'd always assumed he was black, but when I met him he was whiter than me. I said to a couple of the people who knew them 'I always assumed Leon would be black', to which they all replied 'he is'. Me and my mate both did a double take. I mean this guy was white enough to get into the St Helens branch of the Republican Party.

 

After that, he became known to us as Sam Becket because we clearly weren't seeing what everyone else was.

 

[Evelyn Tentions]

I had a friend years ago with the surname Booth. Universally known as Phone, I've no idea what his real given name was.

[Numero Veinticinco]

18 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Me and my mate used to knock around with some people from my old job and one was a bird called Jenny who had a boyfriend called Leon. I'd always assumed he was black, but when I met him he was whiter than me. I said to a couple of the people who knew them 'I always assumed Leon would be black', to which they all replied 'he is'. Me and my mate both did a double take. I mean this guy was white enough to get into the St Helens branch of the Republican Party.

 

After that, he became known to us as Sam Becket because we clearly weren't seeing what everyone else was.

 

Reminds me of the time the defence of Carl Benjamin’s N Word rant was that he’s mixed race and somebody on here replied ‘half Finnish. Half Swedish’ or something to that effect. 

[Section_31]

1 minute ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

Reminds me of the time the defence of Carl Benjamin’s N Word rant was that he’s mixed race and somebody on here replied ‘half Finnish. Half Swedish’ or something to that effect. 

 

Apparently Yazz is black, my eyes must be going. I'm F W de Klerk over here. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Numero Veinticinco]

18 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

Apparently Yazz is black, my eyes must be going. I'm F W de Klerk over here. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That video was fucking mental back then.

[No2]

A lad I went to school with was called Hammer because his mam beat his dad to  death with a hammer.

 

[Remmie]

1 hour ago, No2 said:

A lad I went to school with was called Hammer because his mam beat his dad to  death with a hammer.

 

What the fuck?

[Bruce Spanner]

I’m sure there’s another thread for this?

 

Anyhows, a mate of mine used to work with someone called ‘Frank The Bastard’ and I ended up on a night out with him once and, yes, he does deserve the moniker. 
 

Absolute fucking headcase.

 

Last I heard he’d burnt his house down pissed up.

 

He didn’t have insurance so he just kept living in the chard remains, probably still there now, or dead, or being put up in ones of Liz’s dorms for the demented.

[ZonkoVille77]

We gave a mate the nickname 'Pete'. He was a pisshead who had a kid with a Polish lass and he was a brutal father, a waster. Summed up as 'a shambles to his baby'. So it was that he got called 'Pete' due to Pete Doherty and his band 'Babyshambles'.

 

A girl who used to come to the pub and stunk of BO the whole time got called 'Frank'. This was due to the deodorant 'RightGuard' which sounded similar to the surname of 'Frank Rijkaard'. 

 

Another lass was called 'Bernard' after Bernard Matthews Turkey Burgers cos she had a skin fold on her neck like a Turkey.

[Bruce Spanner]

Knew a guy years back when I was working in pubs called ‘Jimmy Odds’, one of the nicest guys you’d ever meet, but you knew he was a proper psychopath with history as people would walk in and walk out if they saw him, even the other hard bastards showed him reverence even with him being slight of frame.

 

After knowing him for a few years I found out why he had the name, it’s was because in any fight the odds were in his favour as he was a fucking animal when he snapped.

 

His ‘signature move’ was to rush people and bite their nose as hard as possible taking as much flesh as possible with, people don’t tend to fight back apparently.

 

I liked him anyhow.

[No2]

4 hours ago, Remmie said:

What the fuck?

I reckon we where 9 or 10 when it happened. Apparently he used to come come pissed every night and batter her. One night when he was asleep on the couch she pummelled him to death with a hammer. She got away with it too. On reflection the name was a touch cruel.

 

Another great name was women. I mentioned this one in the woke thread. She was in the mental home down the road, she thought she was Gary Newman. If you called her woman you got the chase of your life.

 

There was also hagendave, Dave worked for hagendaz.

[easytoslip]

On 19/05/2022 at 11:22, Section_31 said:

 

Apparently Yazz is black, my eyes must be going. I'm F W de Klerk over here. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One awful song it reminds me of being in a nightclub by Birmingham Airport, quite ghastly and I could of got me head kicked in due to the strumpet sitting on my knee, thanks. 

[littletedwest]

There's a local drunk named Pierre near us. For years I thought it was because his family was French, turns out its because somebody pissed on his head once

[Remmie]

1 hour ago, No2 said:

I reckon we where 9 or 10 when it happened. Apparently he used to come come pissed every night and batter her. One night when he was asleep on the couch she pummelled him to death with a hammer. She got away with it too. On reflection the name was a touch cruel.

 

Another great name was women. I mentioned this one in the woke thread. She was in the mental home down the road, she thought she was Gary Newman. If you called her woman you got the chase of your life.

 

There was also hagendave, Dave worked for hagendaz.

Yeah the WTF was more about the insensitivity of the nickname rather than the act itself (which probably says more about me than it does you!). 

[Harry's Lad]

My late mum in law was a proper roll your sleeves up old school Liverpool mum who was frightened of nothing.

 

There was a family do once in the mid 80's where she was a little worse for wear and getting rowdy on whisky.

When her eldest son tried to get her to tone it down a bit she took exception and caught him with a perfect uppercut sitting him on his arse before storming off.

He sat there rubbing his chin and said something like fucking hell, she fights like a man, that was like getting hit by Rambo.

 

Mam - Rambo - Mambo which is what she was known as by the family for the last 30 odd years of her life.

[DalyanPete]

My nickname at school was Fluff, people didn't laugh when I made a living in the porn industry.

[Tj hooker]

A driver in our place is proper swinging the lead when he has a heavy route he suddenly develops a hernia but thankfully when he has an easier route he's absolutely fine but they keep him in the depot and has gained a new Nickname he's now called the Ghost you know he's there but you can't see him 

[cloggypop]

I know a fat Welsh bloke called Herbie because when he lies down he looks like the car. 

[redinblack]

When we were in 3rd year at senior school a lad came in talking about the size of his dogs dick. For the remainder of senior school he was known as "Dogs Dick Lunty"

[Bjornebye]

We used to call a teacher in our school "Jerry" because his surname was Lawler. He used to go mental because he never knew why. "Jerrryyyyyyyy"

[Harry Squatter]

I work with a woman who has hilariously bad taste in clothes and make up. She's a bit overweight and has bright dyed red hair. Me and my mate call her Pennywise. We keep expecting her to do her zoom meetings from a storm drain. 

 

Another lad we call Daryll. A character from the Walking Dead. Because he has long hair, never shaves and has worn exactly the same clothes for 10 years. 

 

There's some camp fella who works for a department who wears a suit every day. Apparently he's been called "Stokey" for 25 years because someone once said  said "he's Stoke on Trent (Bent) him". Me and my mate have been calling him The Frenchman after Steven French "I always wear a suit Dan". But it hasn't caught on, even though his original nickname isn't PC.

 

Sometimes go the Cornmarket in town and the fella who works there looks like he should work in some upmarket barbers in London. He always addresses us as "Gents" so we've just called him that even though we've spoken to him loads and he's told us his name about 50 times we just keep calling him Gents. 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

 

Sometimes go the Cornmarket in town and the fella who works there looks like he should work in some upmarket barbers in London. He always addresses us as "Gents" so we've just called him that even though we've spoken to him loads and he's told us his name about 50 times we just keep calling him Gents. 

@Elite "easy guys.."

 

 

Cracking pub the Cornmarket. 

[Elite]

3 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

@Elite "easy guys.."

 

 

Cracking pub the Cornmarket. 

That fella sounds more Vivienne than Tim.

[Remmie]

13 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

Me and my mate have been calling him The Frenchman after Steven French "I always wear a suit Dan".

As is tradition.

[Section_31]

Sure I'd have posted this but there was a bird in Widnes we called Easter Island head. Because she looked like one.