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8 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Imagine having to box a 6ft bouncing rat randomly during your day. I abandoned one route to school because of a jack russell, fuck Australia.

One of my neighbours dogs attacked me the other night when I was putting the bins out the back. The woman had her two dogs out in the entry and they must think its part of their garden because they came running at me barking. Im normally alright with dogs but these weren't playing. I had a big cardboard box that I'd broken down so used it as a shield. The woman was calling them back, one of them did but the other had its teeth showing and nipped the back of my leg the little cunt. The woman was dead apologetic and it did no damage like. I felt sorry for her because she was mortified. They weren't small dogs either. 

 

I came in the back door and my bird was sat on her phone "Fucking hell did you not hear all that out the back then?"

"I heard all that barking why?"

"I've just been attacked by dogs but you just sit there" 

"Hahaha" 

 

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7 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Mrs Kurtz is terrified of them so this is a stressful month in the Kurtz household. She thinks Conkers deter the little fuckers so our house is full of bowls of them by the doors and windows. I think it makes fuck all difference but we don’t have a control group of a house with no Conkers so you can’t prove a negative.

 

I've been looking at the sprays on Amazon. People say they're pretty good. You just spray them around the doors and windows once a week and apparently it deters the little cunts. 

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My wife is petrified of spiders.  She has a ficus she adores.  A couple of days ago we came downstairs and the ficus was like something from the film Arachnophobia.  I could not stop laughing.  It now lives down the back of the garden.

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1 hour ago, Nummer Neunzehn said:

I've been looking at the sprays on Amazon. People say they're pretty good. You just spray them around the doors and windows once a week and apparently it deters the little cunts. 

Do they work like this

 

tenor.gif?itemid=10082956

 

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5 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

You could probably sue for the distress. Her household insurance would cover it and you’d get maybe a couple of grand in compensation. Obviously it’s not a nice thing to do and her premiums would go up. Depends how much you like your neighbours. 

Do you have any good ideas for a more permanent solution?

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First one today. In the bedroom. Big bastard. To make it worse, the mattress is on the floor cos we've just had a new bed delivered and I haven't put it together yet.

 

 

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On 24/08/2009 at 00:45, Guest simon said:

 

It means what it says. Spider's are scared of Conkers Put one in every corner of every room and you wont see any spiders again. Tried a tested method.

 

On 08/09/2020 at 09:47, Colonel Kurtz said:

Mrs Kurtz is terrified of them so this is a stressful month in the Kurtz household. She thinks Conkers deter the little fuckers so our house is full of bowls of them by the doors and windows. I think it makes fuck all difference but we don’t have a control group of a house with no Conkers so you can’t prove a negative.

 

Apparently they have to go in the corners. 

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Some superb garden spiders engineering their ambitious webs in the garden at the moment.

 

Also just spotted one of my favourites, a minute zebra spider scuttling along a ladder lain on the floor outside.

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Just had an absolute monster rampaging all over the living room.

 

I didn’t really want to go to sleep anyway. 

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We babysat her niece and nephew on Friday night and took them over Croxteth Park conker picking on Saturday morning. Got half a carrier bag full of the bastards. I gave them to her nephew because he wants to paint them but took a pocket full for myself and they are positioned all round the house because apparently they keep the fucking things out. I've seen one so far this month and that was last week on the arm of the couch. Thankfully I wasn't sat on it at the time. 

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Had to battle four biggies in the last week or so. I thought these were autumn/winter creatures?? 

 

If you had a gadget that showed you where every spider was in your house would you use it? Would it be peace of mind to know? Or is it best not knowing? 

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2 hours ago, johnsusername said:

Had to battle four biggies in the last week or so. I thought these were autumn/winter creatures?? 

 

If you had a gadget that showed you where every spider was in your house would you use it? Would it be peace of mind to know? Or is it best not knowing? 

I'd been thinking of this thread in the past week, they seem to have got their dates wrong. Loads of them about. I'd definitely rather not know how many there are in the house though.

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