September Spiders

[Redder Lurtz]

Just moved into a house with gardens and all that after 5 years of relatively spider-free apartment life. It's fucking horrific.

[Anubis]

Had to relocate a garden spider that had mistaken my bedroom for the garden. It's not that I don't like garden spiders - their webs are are feats of exceptional engineering and last year saw one ambitious little fucker build a web that stretched the width of the front garden and which I admired at length - but I can't be walking face-first into that shit when I'm half asleep in the morning.

[Paulie Dangerously]

The orb weavers are out in force at the minute

[johnsusername]

Had quite a few in ours the last couple of weeks. Nothing massive, but still big-ish. I usually scoop them into a glass and throw them in the garden. If they're in hard to reach places i usually just vacuum them up with the hoover tube. I hate flies (HATE) so at least spiders and me are on the same side.

 

We spent two years doing our house up and i was stripping paint and wallpaper in the small cupboard under the stairs (so tight, cramped, no room to move). I noticed a spider curl up and i (accidentally) flicked it onto the floor. I can still hear the thud it made when it hit the floor. A sickening thud.

 

Also, was clearing out the garden, went inside to take a piss, looked in the mirror and there was quite a big spider on my shoulder/walking onto my neck. I'm not ashamed to say I shrieked like a girl and f*cking jumped around like a loon. And never found it!

 

I don't mind them - but hate it when they take you by surprise.

[Red Phoenix]

Have got a pretty big ingrained fear of spiders, but I try to purposefully leave them so that I get over it. There's a huge one in my room at the moment and I see it walking around every now and then. As long as it doesn't end up on my bed and I don't stand on it, not really bothered. The big ones are fucking fast though, (touched it a week or so ago to see what it did, and it shot under my bed really fast.) kind of amazing the speed they can go at.

[GR10 LFC]

Found two of these in the past week. Mrs is ready to sell up!!

[Red Phoenix]

Found two of these in the past week. Mrs is ready to sell up!!

Hahah, that's exactly like the one in my room. Haven't seen it in a few days actually, it might have gone elsewhere by now.

[Anubis]

[Hand Shandy]

Hahah, that's exactly like the one in my room. Haven't seen it in a few days actually, it might have gone elsewhere by now.

Yep.

 

Into your ear.

[Red Phoenix]

Yep.

 

Into your ear.

 

 

I'm going to safely assume that's not the case, it's way too big and it'd probably wake me up even trying.

[stringvest]

If you try and step on the fucker, then it rips your shoe off and starts whacking you around the legs with it, you know it's time to call in the professionals. A bout of rain, and my house is inundated with the fuckers.

[JohnnyH]

Here's a pic of me waiting on the train to work yesterday. Shit me right up.

 

And yes, Ermmm, I always have my bottle in a brown paper bag with me ahead of work.

 

 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Found two of these in the past week. Mrs is ready to sell up!!

Never mind selling up. Burn the whole street

[johnsusername]

Here's a pic of me waiting on the train to work yesterday. Shit me right up.

 

And yes, Ermmm, I always have my bottle in a brown paper bag with me ahead of work.

 

 

 

I wouldn't mind so much if they were that big - at least you could keep an eye on them and they couldn't sneak up on you.

[VladimirIlyich]

Found two of these in the past week. Mrs is ready to sell up!!

Dont tell her its a Bird Eating Spider or you will be homeless!

[Anubis]

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I hoover spiders up........then lay in my bed wondering if the fucking cunts will crawl back out. 

[JohnnyH]

Just removed 2 massive relations of that fucker under the glass above from the house. One of them was on the stairs heading towards the bedroom.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I hoover spiders up........then lay in my bed wondering if the fucking cunts will crawl back out.

When entering a vacuum they explode. Fear not

[Stouffer]

I had one that was so big last night it was struggling to hold onto the wall.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I had an early one in the bathroom about 4 or 5 weeks ago and it was fucking enormous.  Imagine an eight-legged Dreadnoughtus.  That was this fucker.

 

I don't squash spiders as a rule, but I reckon if it had come to a fight, this one could have taken me anyway.  It was too big to go under an aerosol lid (my usual MO) so I had to try to coax it into one.  This took a wee while and I couldn't help noticing that as I was chasing it around I could hear its feet on the lino.  Seriously - I could hear its fucking footsteps!  

 

Big bastard.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Had one under the fridge today. Nearly broke my foot off stamping on it. I wanted to be sure.

[Trumo]

Had one under the fridge today. Nearly broke my foot off stamping on it. I wanted to be sure.

 

You stamped on the fridge?

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

You stamped on the fridge?

Better safe than sorry, Trumes.

[Paulie Dangerously]

None yet in ours but those dickhead garden spiders keep constructing their limitlessly wide webs across my front door. The dog just eats them as he goes out and gets covered in web