Quantcast
Slapper Stories - Page 3 - GF - General Forum - The Liverpool Way Jump to content
23_Carra_Gold

Slapper Stories

Recommended Posts

Back seat of my car in an observation parking strip next to Albany Airport runway a coupla days ago. Her cunt was fucking smelly. The sad part is I wasnt even drunk

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
People don't usually believe the good ones.

 

 

But whatever... here is one:

 

When I was living in Arizona......etc .

 

With all the "So I'm like, ok" and "Whatever"s I couldn't help but read that whole thing in an American accent.

 

 

EDIT - Hammy beat me to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I pulled a bird in my local once. There was 2 of them and my mate got the other one. They took us back to theirs. My mate took one upstairs so i got into the other one downstairs. Within 2 seconds of me kissing her she says:

 

GIRL - "I'm on, do you want me to suck you off"

 

ME "If you must"

 

2 seconds into sucking me off she says

 

"where do you want to cum? in my mouth or in my face?"

 

So she looked like a painters radio afterwards. Slapper of the best kind!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ONe of my 'ex' girlfriends was dirty but very sexy, we would do it in the car and in public places sometimes.

 

Anyway, one day we were doing it in her bed - sex - and she asked if I minded would her friend come over. I pretended I did mind and did not want the friend over so she said she would not call her.

 

Then an hour later I said she should come over anyway. Her freind was very sexy too. So then the three of us were in her bed and it went on all night:yes:

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ONe of my 'ex' girlfriends was dirty but very sexy, we would do it in the car and in public places sometimes.

 

Anyway, one day we were doing it in her bed - sex - and she asked if I minded would her friend come over. I pretended I did mind and did not want the friend over so she said she would not call her.

 

Then an hour later I said she should come over anyway. Her freind was very sexy too. So then the three of us were in her bed and it went on all night:yes:

 

Andriy Voronin - Aged 12 and 3 quarters.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ONe of my 'ex' girlfriends was dirty but very sexy, we would do it in the car and in public places sometimes.

 

Anyway, one day we were doing it in her bed - sex - and she asked if I minded would her friend come over. I pretended I did mind and did not want the friend over so she said she would not call her.

 

Then an hour later I said she should come over anyway. Her freind was very sexy too. So then the three of us were in her bed and it went on all night:yes:

 

That made me laugh.

 

Also, the original story is a bit shit now in comparison to Lances. Although mine was an 18 year old doing a bit of statutory rape I think Lance shades it with encouraging his mate to rape the girl he was shagging.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ONe of my 'ex' girlfriends was dirty but very sexy, we would do it in the car and in public places sometimes.

 

Anyway, one day we were doing it in her bed - sex - and she asked if I minded would her friend come over. I pretended I did mind and did not want the friend over so she said she would not call her.

 

Then an hour later I said she should come over anyway. Her freind was very sexy too. So then the three of us were in her bed and it went on all night:yes:

 

Glad you added that. I was sat here thinking "doing what?".

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
That made me laugh.

 

Also, the original story is a bit shit now in comparison to Lances. Although mine was an 18 year old doing a bit of statutory rape I think Lance shades it with encouraging his mate to rape the girl he was shagging.

 

Hey now! It's like a film I'll have to put in a line that reads:

 

"No strippers were raped during the creation of this story."

 

Anyway, it would have just been consent based on deception at worst!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Yes, attempting to facilitate rape is absolutely fine when you are 18

 

I get the "no means no" principle, but surely silence means "ah, go on". No?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Think of danielle smith and you'd be very close to my 'tale'

 

What? A load of scouse scallies filmed themselves shagging you and sticking a bottle in you?

 

The shame!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i could probably share a couple of old stories, but then i'd lose my reputation as an innocent, polite, cat-loving canadian.

 

i suppose it would be okay after the whole tiger woods saga...maybe a bit later.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ONe of my 'ex' girlfriends was dirty but very sexy, we would do it in the car and in public places sometimes.

 

Anyway, one day we were doing it in her bed - sex - and she asked if I minded would her friend come over. I pretended I did mind and did not want the friend over so she said she would not call her.

 

Then an hour later I said she should come over anyway. Her freind was very sexy too. So then the three of us were in her bed and it went on all night:yes:

 

All I can picture is that scene out of the '40 Year Old Virgin" when Steve Carell is playing cards with the lads and trying to tell a sex story.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:yes::yes:

All I can picture is that scene out of the '40 Year Old Virgin" when Steve Carell is playing cards with the lads and trying to tell a sex story.

 

Haha it is true though! The 'ex' girlfriend was a blond and hte friend had black hair and big tits. Three people so many combinations :yes:

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
:yes::yes:

 

Haha it is true though! The 'ex' girlfriend was a blond and hte friend had black hair and big tits. Three people so many combinations :yes:

 

 

 

Ah, so you played scrabble with them then.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
What? A load of scouse scallies filmed themselves shagging you and sticking a bottle in you?

 

The shame!

 

There wasn't a bottle, but yes....sorta

 

Mucky, mucky girl.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Available Subscriptions

  • Last Match Report

  • Latest Posts

    • Saturday Jun 8:   Fuck all happening at the moment. The most interesting thing I saw today was something on Twitter that might have been complete bollocks for all I know. It got my attention though. Klopp was apparently invited onto the Graham Norton Show but declined, as he preferred to go on holiday instead.    Completely understand why Kloppo couldn’t be arsed with it, as he doesn’t get much opportunity to get away from it all and spend time with the family. Besides, he’s not really into all that celebrity jazz anyway. Still, imagine how fucking funny he’d have been on there. He’s the only manager with the personality to pull a show like that off.   Actually I tell a lie, my man Tim Sherwood could do it. If he had a job. And if he ever actually won something. Tell you who couldn’t pull it off. Pep, the boring bastard. He’d be whining about not getting credit for his treble and telling everyone about how big John Stones' balls are. Actually, that might make decent telly thinking about it.   Is this what the summer is going to reduce me to? Just talking absolute shite about nothing to fill space? Anyone makes a crack that it doesn't take the summer to have me doing that can fuck off.   Oh wait, something did actually happen today. Robbo scored a screamer for Scotland. It was like the shot he had in the final against Spurs only this one went in. Willing to bet here and now that he bags at least a couple like that next year. He’s finding his range I reckon. Imagine how good he’ll be when he adds a few goals to his armoury. We’re talking Balon d’or.
      Sunday Jun 9:   England won the third place game against the Swiss after penalties. I didn’t watch it as to be honest I didn’t even know it was on. I wouldn’t have watched even if I had known, but I might have dipped in and out of it just to check on Shaq.   Trent had a good game, apparently. I only know this because Lineker was tweeting about him. Again. Lineker obsesses about Trent almost as much as Man City’s press office obsesses about the Reds.   In the final, Portugal beat Holland, which is a minor blow to Virgil’s hopes of pipping Messi. It shouldn’t make any difference either way really, but if he’d skippered Holland to this trophy it might have had an influence. Bernardo Silva was named player of the tournament, much to the visible disgust of Ronaldo.        Maybe he is just a selfish, self absorbed, individual glory above the team wanker, or maybe he’s just playing up to that now and it’s all just some elaborate in-joke between him and his team-mates.   He pulls this kind of shit all the time. The hissy fit he threw a few years ago when Arbeloa nipped in front of him to score a back post tap in was sensational. Is he really this much of a diva or is he just winding us all up? I reckon it’s a bit of both, as that one today can’t possibly be real.    Meanwhile, one of his Portugal team-mates is hoping for a call from the Reds. Bruno Fernandez (who I mentioned a couple of weeks ago after he said he likes us better than City), is reportedly wanted by Spurs to replace Eriksen but he’s holding out in the hope that Klopp makes a move.   United want him too, but what self respecting decent footballer is going to join that circus when there are better offers on the table?    They are on the brink of signing that Welsh winger from Swansea and they’re being linked with Longstaff from Newcastle. They have no idea what they’re doing. They tried the “throw massive money at superstars” approach and it bombed spectacularly. So now they’re going oppo and doing it the “sign young and hungry players from unfashionable clubs” route.   It won’t work because they don’t have the structure (or manager) in place to make it work. It’s a long way back for them fuckers.     This is just a teaser, click here to read the full article   Please note that 'the Week that Was' is only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 
    • I'll give you Alisson (bought months later obviously), where has Klopp been clear that there is no VVD purchase without Coutinho leaving? We tried to buy him in the previous summer of course, or was that just a smokescreen?
    • The important thing here is, what's his natural position? 
    • Because in the summer he wanted us to sell for the 90m or whatever it was Barca were offering at the time and we wouldn't sell at that fee. As soon as they met our asking price, Linda and John were at his house packing his bags. 
  • Latest Round Up

  • Popular Now

  • Popular Contributors

×