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Slapper Stories

23_Carra_Gold

By 23_Carra_Gold,
in GF - General Forum

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Harry Squatter
Harry Squatter

My mate in work is mulling over banging some girl he manages. She's quite fit but is an absolute mentalist and will literally have 4 or 5 different moods a day. His brother works in the same office an

Dr Nowt
Dr Nowt

That’s heartbreaking.   Do you have her what’s app details?

Harry Squatter
Harry Squatter

I saw him in the Grafton once in 2001 and started talking to him about his films, me and my mates were the only people in there to recognise him which says a lot about me and my mates. He didn't even

jonnybastard Collaborator

jonnybastard

Posted
Posted

One of my earliest 'proper' girlfriends (I mean proper as in hand in knickers rather than hand in hand) was the well fit daughter of a roofer. I'd already lost my cherry on the local bike, so being experienced I took the roofers daughters virginity and taught her everything I knew (all learned from my mates dads VHS porn collection). She took to it like a duck to orange sauce and very quickly became possibly the dirtiest little bitch I've ever had, she fucking loved it. Unfortunately it all came to an abrupt end when her dad found the empty jiffy box in her bedroom (jiffy being a brand of condom in those days, maybe still) and the next time I went round he chased me down the drive threatening to kill me if I ever returned. After the break up she became a bit of a (complete) slag. I like to think that she desperately seeking someone who bang her like I used to, in fact a couple of mates who had her later said she was a shit shag, which confirms my theory, because she was fucking great when I had her.

Anyway, fast forward a couple of years and I was using my free period from college to visit another lass. I noticed the scaffolding outside, but gave no thought, I had far more sordid things on my mind. Having done the dirty deed and tidied myself on the curtains I left, only to meet the previously mentioned roofer and four of his employees outside having their dinner in the front garden. Not recognising me he went straight into his 'man of the world, one of the lads routine- "eh, we know what you've been up to, hope she hasn't worn you out, if you've any left can you sort our lass so I get some peace?"

I said "if she's as dirty as your daughter I'll be up her in a jiffy"

His lads were laughing but a look of recognition appeared on his quickly purpling face as I shot back in the house and straight out of the back door.

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lifetime fan Grand Master

lifetime fan

Posted
Posted

My mate hangs round with Omar Williams the porn star who now lives in Crosby. He said the amount of women who throw themselves at him is ridiculous. Women come up to him and grab his phone and type their numbers into it without even speaking to him cos they all want their minge destroyed by his massive 14 inch cock.

 

My mate went on a weekend away with him to Birmingham a few weeks back and to a bar where there was a private party. There were three birds there that knew him, they asked him to come back to their flat about 10 o clock. He smashed all three of them and then got a taxi back to the party. While he was at the party he chatted up some bird he'd been after for ages and banged her round the back of the bar. She left about 12 to go home, he went inside back to the party then decided to get a taxi at 3 am to the 3 birds flat who he had banged earlier on and smashed all three of them again.

Got stuck behind him this morning when in a rush to pay for fuel and he's signing up for a fucking club card.

 

He did have the good grace to apologise and laugh when I said don't say sorry, lend me a couple of inches.

 

Terrible taste in car and a private plate too. Not good.

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Dr Nowt Grand Master

Dr Nowt

Posted
Posted

My mate hangs round with Omar Williams the porn star who now lives in Crosby. He said the amount of women who throw themselves at him is ridiculous. Women come up to him and grab his phone and type their numbers into it without even speaking to him cos they all want their minge destroyed by his massive 14 inch cock.

 

My mate went on a weekend away with him to Birmingham a few weeks back and to a bar where there was a private party. There were three birds there that knew him, they asked him to come back to their flat about 10 o clock. He smashed all three of them and then got a taxi back to the party. While he was at the party he chatted up some bird he'd been after for ages and banged her round the back of the bar. She left about 12 to go home, he went inside back to the party then decided to get a taxi at 3 am to the 3 birds flat who he had banged earlier on and smashed all three of them again.

 

I think I've seen that one.

 

What a lucky, lucky fucking bastard.

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Ezekiel 25:17 Grand Master

Ezekiel 25:17

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I saw him in the Grafton once in 2001 and started talking to him about his films, me and my mates were the only people in there to recognise him which says a lot about me and my mates. He didn't even cop off in there. He probably went home and smashed Cathy Barry after fixing her washing machine..

 

No doubt he gave the cameraman he probably took with him that knowing nod and grin as she turned her back, you know the one.

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Captain Grand Master

Captain

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Is copping off with and fucking women he meets on a night out not a bit of a busman's holiday for him?

 

I kind of hoped he would be the the complete opposite of how he is on screen and have a really low sex drive, preferring a cup of tea to a shag.

 

It's called living the dream mate, just like a professional at a certain sport.

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littletedwest Grand Master

littletedwest

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Just mentioned Tokyo joes on another thread.Just reminded me on my 18th went there. At ten o clock I was fingering some bird on dance floor and she was wanking me off. I was that pissed I missed my turning and ended up showing a finger up her arse.

 

good times.

 

My mates were pissing themselves watching and some random girl walked up to me after and asked did I enjoy my wank.

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Remmie Grand Master

Remmie

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Just mentioned Tokyo joes on another thread.Just reminded me on my 18th went there. At ten o clock I was fingering some bird on dance floor and she was wanking me off. I was that pissed I missed my turning and ended up showing a finger up her arse.

 

good times.

 

My mates were pissing themselves watching and some random girl walked up to me after and asked did I enjoy my wank.

Haha is that the one in Preston by any chance? I fingerbanged a bird on the dancefloor there once and as I was walking home I noticed mingeplasma on my nails
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