Slapper Stories

[El Dangerous]

This thread has aged like Rafa’s legacy.

[Em City]

On 11/12/2009 at 14:13, Rico1304 said:

A mate of mine nailed some whores in Thailand (inc a pre-op Trannie but that's another story) and on the way back his knob starting stinging. He went for a piss on the plane and it was pure puss. By the time he got back he could hardly walk and his knob was oozing constantly.

 

He phones the clinic before he'd unpacked and managed to get a cancellation appointment that afternoon. He had all the tests and had caught;

 

syphillis

gonorrhea

clamidia

NSU

 

He also had an AIDS test but that was the only thing he didn't catch. They gave him antibiotics for the does but after 2 weeks of having to wear bog-roll down his pants to catch the puss oozing out of his cock it still hadn't gone. Turns out he's got a brand new strain of gonorrhea and the only thing they could hope would shift it was a massive dose of antibiotics. The doc actually asked him if he could write up his case for a medical journal.

 

How did this end up? Did his knob fall off in the end?

 

 

[Rico1304]

6 minutes ago, Em City said:

 

How did this end up? Did his knob fall off in the end?

 

 

He’s still alive. He had to go back a few times and have antibiotics that were the last hope.  He still shivers when he talks about the flight home. 

[Kevin D]

On 18 June 2021 at 20:01, Doctor Troy said:

My mate in work is mulling over banging some girl he manages. She's quite fit but is an absolute mentalist and will literally have 4 or 5 different moods a day. His brother works in the same office and he shagged her on and off behind his wife's back for a year, while she was engaged to another lad. 

 

She invited him to her house a few weeks back but he politely declined as he found out that at least another 4 lads he knows have shagged her. She was even seeing two of them at the same time but they weren't aware of it.

 

My mate has called her "Shipman" as he says the more he finds out about her, the more victims come to light. 

 

Yeah.

[Kevin D]

On 18 June 2021 at 20:01, Doctor Troy said:

My mate in work is mulling over banging some girl he manages. She's quite fit but is an absolute mentalist and will literally have 4 or 5 different moods a day. His brother works in the same office and he shagged her on and off behind his wife's back for a year, while she was engaged to another lad. 

 

She invited him to her house a few weeks back but he politely declined as he found out that at least another 4 lads he knows have shagged her. She was even seeing two of them at the same time but they weren't aware of it.

 

My mate has called her "Shipman" as he says the more he finds out about her, the more victims come to light. 

 

 

I personally don't know that it gets better than that.

[Sugar Ape]

3 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

He’s still alive. He had to go back a few times and have antibiotics that were the last hope.  He still shivers when he talks about the flight home. 

Much like your mate, I love a happy ending. 

[angie]

Was sitting in a pub one night having a few quiet ones with my sister and a few people we knew. Some proper rough lad by ours comes in & starts saying he’s just shagged sully, some girl  from by ours and even pulls her knickers out his pocket to prove it. All this while the girls fella and the dad to her baby was sitting there, drinking his pint. The lad ended up going on the gear & he died a few years ago. Everyone blamed his bird because she was a bad coke whore & would shag for beak. He even paid for a boob job for her & everyone used to joke he was the only lad who hadn’t seen them. Hope you found peace Mick.

[Elite]

23 minutes ago, angie said:

Was sitting in a pub one night having a few quiet ones with my sister and a few people we knew. Some proper rough lad by ours comes in & starts saying he’s just shagged sully, some girl  from by ours and even pulls her knickers out his pocket to prove it. All this while the girls fella and the dad to her baby was sitting there, drinking his pint. The lad ended up going on the gear & he died a few years ago. Everyone blamed his bird because she was a bad coke whore & would shag for beak. He even paid for a boob job for her & everyone used to joke he was the only lad who hadn’t seen them. Hope you found peace Mick.

Hope that eulogy is not on his gravestone .

[Bjornebye]

25 minutes ago, angie said:

Was sitting in a pub one night having a few quiet ones with my sister and a few people we knew. Some proper rough lad by ours comes in & starts saying he’s just shagged sully, some girl  from by ours and even pulls her knickers out his pocket to prove it. All this while the girls fella and the dad to her baby was sitting there, drinking his pint. The lad ended up going on the gear & he died a few years ago. Everyone blamed his bird because she was a bad coke whore & would shag for beak. He even paid for a boob job for her & everyone used to joke he was the only lad who hadn’t seen them. Hope you found peace Mick.

Poor lad. 

[Dr Nowt]

35 minutes ago, angie said:

Was sitting in a pub one night having a few quiet ones with my sister and a few people we knew. Some proper rough lad by ours comes in & starts saying he’s just shagged sully, some girl  from by ours and even pulls her knickers out his pocket to prove it. All this while the girls fella and the dad to her baby was sitting there, drinking his pint. The lad ended up going on the gear & he died a few years ago. Everyone blamed his bird because she was a bad coke whore & would shag for beak. He even paid for a boob job for her & everyone used to joke he was the only lad who hadn’t seen them. Hope you found peace Mick.

That’s heartbreaking.

 

Do you have her what’s app details?

[ZonkoVille77]

38 minutes ago, angie said:

Was sitting in a pub one night having a few quiet ones with my sister and a few people we knew. Some proper rough lad by ours comes in & starts saying he’s just shagged sully, some girl  from by ours and even pulls her knickers out his pocket to prove it. All this while the girls fella and the dad to her baby was sitting there, drinking his pint. The lad ended up going on the gear & he died a few years ago. Everyone blamed his bird because she was a bad coke whore & would shag for beak. He even paid for a boob job for her & everyone used to joke he was the only lad who hadn’t seen them. Hope you found peace Mick.

 

I'd watch that film. 

[Curly]

1 hour ago, angie said:

Was sitting in a pub one night having a few quiet ones with my sister and a few people we knew. Some proper rough lad by ours comes in & starts saying he’s just shagged sully, some girl  from by ours and even pulls her knickers out his pocket to prove it. All this while the girls fella and the dad to her baby was sitting there, drinking his pint. The lad ended up going on the gear & he died a few years ago. Everyone blamed his bird because she was a bad coke whore & would shag for beak. He even paid for a boob job for her & everyone used to joke he was the only lad who hadn’t seen them. Hope you found peace Mick.

Fucking horrible that 

 

*making notes - “Sully, beak…” what pub was this again?

[Harry Squatter]

My mate used to meet random slags off the Internet in the early 2000's. No Tinder then or social media.

 

He spent a fortune on rail tickets going all over the country shagging slags he'd started talking to on MSN. 

 

He said the worst one was some slapper from Marlborough. They'd been talking for ages and she sent him a photo of herself in the post. She looked OK on the photo so he was looking forward to going down there for a weekend of sex. 

 

When he got to the train station he walked straight past her as the photo she had sent was 7 years old and she had put on about six stone. My mate was horrified and once she introduced herself he wasn't happy. 

 

As he got there quite late he told her that he would check into a B&B but told her under no circumstances that he was interested in having sex with her and that he was fucking off first thing the next day. She said that was fine and she admitted that she had lied to him. She said that her Dad owned the pub over the Road from the B&B and that if he came over she would give him a load of free drinks as she worked behind the bar. He went over and had a few pints then went back to the B&B.

 

About 1am there's a knock on the door and it's the fat bird who finished her shift and just forces herself in through the door when opened it up. She took her coat off and had a black negligee on which my mate said looked like the top of the tent at Gandeys circus. She said that it wasn't fair that he came all that way to not have sex with her. She then opens a box that she brought over which was full of dildos, the box stunk like a fish market so she obviously didn't clean them.

 

She lies on the bed and starts shoving a dildo in and out of herself shouting him to get on the bed and fuck her. My mate grabs all his clothes and just fucking legs it. Slams the door on the way out and runs down to the taxi rank in the main square. He ended up spending 60 quid to get to Swindon and just stayed awake in the train station all night to get a connection back to Liverpool.

[Harry Squatter]

My mate also used to go up to meet some bird in Edinburgh. One week he was due to come down to mine as I was having a party. 

 

As he was leaving his house this Scottish bird just appears completely unannounced on his doorstep. My mate is completely shocked that she turned up as he'd never given her his address and she'd managed to find her way from Edinburgh to Hawthorne Road in Bootle. 

 

She then seemed pissed off that my mate had the bare faced cheek to arrange an all dayer without thinking on that some random Scottish bird would turn up unannounced. 

 

She ended up coming to mine with my mate and spent the whole day and night fuming with her arms folded and not drinking. 

 

My mate told me that on the Monday she threw a strop because he wouldn't rearrange his shift last minute or phone in sick to stay off and bang her. She started smashing his house up saying he was being a selfish twat and abandoning him. He phoned his brother in law to help him get her out the house. She eventually relented then walked all the way from Hawthorne Road to the strand to get a train back into town.

 

Apparently she remembered the name of his street but didn't know what part of Liverpool it was and went to another street miles away with the same name. She then asked people in the street if they knew him and what number he lived at. Like a cross between the Bourne Identity and Fatal Attraction. 

[Arniepie]

1 hour ago, Doctor Troy said:

My mate used to meet random slags off the Internet in the early 2000's. No Tinder then or social media.

 

He spent a fortune on rail tickets going all over the country shagging slags he'd started talking to on MSN. 

 

He said the worst one was some slapper from Marlborough. They'd been talking for ages and she sent him a photo of herself in the post. She looked OK on the photo so he was looking forward to going down there for a weekend of sex. 

 

When he got to the train station he walked straight past her as the photo she had sent was 7 years old and she had put on about six stone. My mate was horrified and once she introduced herself he wasn't happy. 

 

As he got there quite late he told her that he would check into a B&B but told her under no circumstances that he was interested in having sex with her and that he was fucking off first thing the next day. She said that was fine and she admitted that she had lied to him. She said that her Dad owned the pub over the Road from the B&B and that if he came over she would give him a load of free drinks as she worked behind the bar. He went over and had a few pints then went back to the B&B.

 

About 1am there's a knock on the door and it's the fat bird who finished her shift and just forces herself in through the door when opened it up. She took her coat off and had a black negligee on which my mate said looked like the top of the tent at Gandeys circus. She said that it wasn't fair that he came all that way to not have sex with her. She then opens a box that she brought over which was full of dildos, the box stunk like a fish market so she obviously didn't clean them.

 

She lies on the bed and starts shoving a dildo in and out of herself shouting him to get on the bed and fuck her. My mate grabs all his clothes and just fucking legs it. Slams the door on the way out and runs down to the taxi rank in the main square. He ended up spending 60 quid to get to Swindon and just stayed awake in the train station all night to get a connection back to Liverpool.

Imagine there was a time when you couldnt see a picture of someone till they actually sent you it in the post

It's like something from the dark ages but you are probally only looking at like 20 years ago.

[manwiththestick]

Back in the late 90's, around 97/98 my mate who had his own house had a pc and used to hammer AOL chat boards to find woman, he was a bit of an unlucky in love type of guy, would meet a girl and go head over heels and scare them off. One weekend he had arranged to meet a girl up in the Lake District and said me and my other mate could crash in his house for the weekend so we did and spent the evening online, my mate is was with knew my other mates login etc so he logged into his AOL account and found his chat history with this girl only to find that when she asked for a picture he sent a picture of me!

 

We quizzed him when he got home and took the piss out of him for using my picture (he still has not lived it down), he claims he still got a shag despite looking fuck all like me. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

13 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Back in the late 90's, around 97/98 my mate who had his own house had a pc and used to hammer AOL chat boards to find woman, he was a bit of an unlucky in love type of guy, would meet a girl and go head over heels and scare them off. One weekend he had arranged to meet a girl up in the Lake District and said me and my other mate could crash in his house for the weekend so we did and spent the evening online, my mate is was with knew my other mates login etc so he logged into his AOL account and found his chat history with this girl only to find that when she asked for a picture he sent a picture of me!

 

We quizzed him when he got home and took the piss out of him for using my picture (he still has not lived it down), he claims he still got a shag despite looking fuck all like me. 

It was the relief of not seeing your butt-ugly grid just made the knickers drop right off her.