is it possible to tell the missus she`s putting on weight?

[thisisanfield]

A few subtle hints like an extra pair of scales in the house or leave some Weighwatcher leaflets lying around, that should do the trick. Or just drop the odd line into conversations like "fuck me, have you seen the amount of calories in this", that sort of thing.

 

I mentioned scales first Batman!

[Charles Penrose]

Put the Rocky 4 Montage on continuous dvd loop in the living room. Or pay a stranger to call her fat.

 

I can't honestly think of a single way in which dropping a hint or telling her directly would lead to anything but resentment on her part.

[Guest TK-421]

I mentioned scales first Batman!

 

Sorry homez.

[Thants]

Play this around the one the house alot.

 

Of course everyone should like Morrissey so doubly your hearing some more Moz.

 

[YOUTUBE]G-q7-lH8cbs[/YOUTUBE]

 

Twice in a week that been on. And it's Mozzers worstish. Stop posting it, everyone!

 

As for your lady putting on weight, try going for a bike ride with her or just mention it in an everyday conversation. Pick the fat bit of yourself (unless you're a skinny runt) and then pick hers. If she's got a problem with it suggest you'll go running or cycling with her. If he calls it a name and then eats a doughnut, thats your fat missus for the rest of your days. If you cant beat her join her!

[Tom R]

Maybe she just doesn't care.

Should you? I mean, surely her tits have gotten bigger too?

 

Result!

[chrisbonnie]

Maybe she just doesn't care.

Should you? I mean, surely her tits have gotten bigger too?

 

Result!

 

38DD now, where 36DD,

 

oh, i forgot to mention she`s just off the pill, would that make a difference to her weight?

[melons]

38DD now, where 36DD,

 

oh, i forgot to mention she`s just off the pill, would that make a difference to her weight?

 

yeah, she could pregnant.

[Spy Bee]

Very good Melons (this was a response to Melons and Chris)

 

A remarkably tagless thread.

[discuit]

Suggest you go to the Gym together, Apparently birds like doing stuff with their Partner.

 

Or go running together, or buy a fuck load of gym equipment and set each other challenges

[chrisbonnie]

yeah, she could pregnant.

 

 

impossible, she`s only off her rags about 2 days

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Say you where reading a magazine, and it turns out that thin is the new fat, then eloquently point out, that it looks like she's fucked.

[She Knows It]

impossible, she`s only off her rags about 2 days

 

That's what I said when I was pregnant with my first. I still had periods for months. Be afraid.

[melons]

impossible, she`s only off her rags about 2 days

 

That's what I said when I was pregnant with my first. I still had periods for months. Be afraid.

 

ah, just what i was going to add.... break through bleeds are possible.

[bobhorse]

just get a post - it pad and write little notes like

" leave the fucking cakes alone"

and

"Stop eating all the fucking Jaffa Cakes"

 

Little hints like that can sometimes work

[rargh]

That's what I said when I was pregnant with my first. I still had periods for months. Be afraid.

 

So did my ex. She hardly showed either. Is it time for Chrisbonnie to start putting Winnie The Pooh wallpaper up in the spare room?

[rargh]

just get a post - it pad and write little notes like

" leave the fucking cakes alone"

and

"Stop eating all the fucking Jaffa Cakes"

 

Little hints like that can sometimes work

 

Of every time she eats, point at her and make Cookie Monster noises.

[Guest davelfc]

 

or buy a fuck load of gym equipment and set each other challenges

 

Like who can hang the most clothes on them?

[She Knows It]

So did my ex. She hardly showed either. Is it time for Chrisbonnie to start putting Winnie The Pooh wallpaper up in the spare room?

 

Ah, but if she had showed, and you'd made cookie monster noises she might have thought "I can't possibly be overeating, I must be up the duff", and bought a pregnancy test and you'd have had more than the 15 minutes notice you had of impending fatherhood.

[jacco maccaco]

Buy her some nice underwear, not too expensive, but make sure its giftwrapped.

 

Only buy it at the size you would prefer her at.

 

So if she's a 16 and you think a 12 would look better, 12 it is.

 

She'll be confused, on the one hand it wont fit, yet you took the time, to buy it for her.

 

Subtle no ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the other hand she may just take it back and get the correct size, whilst berating you for not being observant, that way you'll know she's comfortable with her weight.

[chrisbonnie]

you`se are all a bunch of wankers :lol:

[Unrighteous]

Buy another mobile phone (cheap pay as you go) and send her sexy texts from a stranger (you basically). Make sure you put in them that you've seen her from afar and you like the cuddly type. Use her phone and find the texts. Have a big fuck off row and leave her for 6 months. She'll be like a rake when you return.

 

This is potentially the most fucked up and, surprisingly, hilarious thing I've read on this board for quite some time.

 

You sir are an evil genius.

[Unrighteous]

Get a floor scale.

 

Fuck with the 'zero' every other day so it seems like she's gaining five lbs every week.

[bobhorse]

This is potentially the most fucked up and, surprisingly, hilarious thing I've read on this board for quite some time.

 

You sir are an evil genius.

 

until she text back asking to meet as her fella is a shit shag and a fucking bore and then the fuuny side of it just goes up in smoke