is it possible to tell the missus she`s putting on weight?

[Rashid 11]

Join the gym yourself or start excercising saying "I am getting fat" - that will do it.

[Sweeney287 460]

In addiion to Woo's suggestion

 

F6fQnTyEniM

[Fugitive 2,868]

Start pulling laxative in her food.

[Kevin D 9,581]

Boss thread.

[Elmyn Noos 375]

Try suggesting that you think you should both take a look at your bad habits and try improving them. She'll still say "Are you calling me fat, you fucker?" but at least when she throws it in your face during an argument you can answer "I didn't say that", even though you'll both know technically that's what you meant.

 

If she's happy with her new size then there's nothing you can do about it, it's her body and if you love her it shouldn't make a difference that she's put on a few pounds. If she's putting on weight but constantly bitching about it that's another story. Sometimes we women do actually need a kick up the arse to put the brakes on, but do your best not to be cruel about it.

 

Ha ha ha..Ohhhh SKI I do love your naivety sometimes. Noone loves a fat lass. The only people that pork fat birds are the ones that can't get normal birds.

 

If a bloke starts going out with a honey, and she gets into that comfort zone where she thinks it's OK to start getting chubby, she needs to be warned, then dumped if she fails to heed the warning. The warning can either be quite direct, ie. "I'm loving you less these days because you are getting fat so you need to lose some weight", or more subtle along the lines of when you are out together, and a fit slim bird walks past, overtly give the slim bird the eye and then turn to your bird and say something like "I wish you looked a bit more like her, because then I would want to fuck you as much as I'd like to fuck her".

 

I should charge for this advice.

[Sweeney287 460]

Quality.

 

I'd never do it obviously for fear of castration, but funny none the less.

[rargh 4]

Dump her for somebody with a body like Kelly Brook. That'll teach her to put the ice cream down!

[Elmyn Noos 375]

Tell her you're going to cook her a nice romatic meal and when she gets in, put a plate in front of her with a block of lard on it.

[rargh 4]

Tell her you're going to cook her a nice romatic meal and when she gets in, put a plate in front of her with a block of lard on it.

 

And then re-enact the Christmas Dinner scene from Eastenders. "Ar ye noo hangrae, Moo? EEEEEET AAHT!!!!"

[AL66GOLF 104]

Ha ha ha..Ohhhh SKI I do love your naivety sometimes. Noone loves a fat lass. The only people that pork fat birds are the ones that can't get normal birds.

 

If a bloke starts going out with a honey, and she gets into that comfort zone where she thinks it's OK to start getting chubby, she needs to be warned, then dumped if she fails to heed the warning. The warning can either be quite direct, ie. "I'm loving you less these days because you are getting fat so you need to lose some weight", or more subtle along the lines of when you are out together, and a fit slim bird walks past, overtly give the slim bird the eye and then turn to your bird and say something like "I wish you looked a bit more like her, because then I would want to fuck you as much as I'd like to fuck her".

 

I should charge for this advice.

 

But what if you are married for 15 years and have kids.

I'm leaving you because you are fat might not go down well as a reason for leaving.

[Captain 686]

I can see a "help I'm single again" thread being posted Sunday night.

 

Chrisbonnie, take her out for activities and do your part to make sure you both eat healthy stuff. But don't you fucking dare mentioning "lose" and "weight" in the same sentence.

[Elmyn Noos 375]

But what if you are married for 15 years and have kids.

I'm leaving you because you are fat might not go down well as a reason for leaving.

 

No excuses for being a fat bird mate. She gets fair warning, so she only has her big fat self to blame if you binner for thinner.

[AL66GOLF 104]

No excuses for being a fat bird mate. She gets fair warning, so she only has her big fat self to blame if you binner for thinner.

 

In case she ever stumbles onto this website and reads my posts my wife is not fat.

 

 

 

 

Just a little big for her bones

[Guest TK-421]

A few subtle hints like an extra pair of scales in the house or leave some Weighwatcher leaflets lying around, that should do the trick. Or just drop the odd line into conversations like "fuck me, have you seen the amount of calories in this", that sort of thing.

[AL66GOLF 104]

Take out some old photos of you as a couple (when she was thin) and comment on how young / thin you were. If / when she starts a row over "calling her fat" etc. say you were talking about yourself!

[melons 416]

how about hey love, your tits are getting too big for this bra, better slim down a bit, we dont need to be buying you new lingerie now do we?

[AL66GOLF 104]

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing

In front of a full length mirror taking a hard look at herself.

 

"You know love," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old

woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, my tush is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."

 

She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He thinks about it for a bit and then says,

"Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight

[rargh 4]

ok, first things first, the missus is no jo brand, but she`s slowly creeping into the "comfort zone"

 

ive been going out with her for 6 years and we own an aprtment together, so its not a matter of, "well, you`re getting tubby, so fuck off" but how can i let it be known, ive been racking my brain for about 2 weeks now, but really cant see how, i was thinking of getting her a dog, that way she`d have to walk it, but thats unfair on the dog, as she`d be in work all day, plus, buying a pet for a present, i just dont really agree with it

 

she`s not particularly lazy, and doesnt eat loads, but she`s a fucker for snacking,

 

she`s like any other bird, she`s a in a gym, gets a fad, goes for 6 weeks, doesnt end up like Kate moss, so its back on the crisps

 

any gentle solutions would be helpful lads, its a pity their not like us, we can just take it on the double chin(ha ha, fat joke) but the birds are a wee bit more delicate

 

You've been together for 6 years now so you're well comfy with each other and no longer feel the need to impress. Everybody gets a dose of 'relationship spread' at some point; it's knowing how/when to nip it in the bud that's the key.

 

How often do you have 'fuck it, let's get a takeaway and a bottle of wine' nights when you can't be arsed cooking? What kind of food are your fridge and cupboards full of? What kind of food does your missus like? Is she likely to go spare if your trip to Asda starts to yield a punnet of grapes instead of a packet of penguins etc?

 

The ultimate decision though, rests with your lady.

[memyselfandpie 49]

This thread is ace.

 

On a serious note though; say that you want to go for more walks together. Walking around a nice lake or something seems so far from saying "SLIM DOWN LARDARSE" that you shouldnt have any problems slipping that one under the radar and getting her on the way to slimming.

 

It's not hard work, takes an hour or two at most and usually, unless you really are a big girl, wont sweat or anything either. So, it's just nice enough to get away with.

 

Constantly reminding her of how much fat is in various things will also make her think about what she's eating a bit more also.

[memyselfandpie 49]

Oh and also something I find a little funny.

 

My missus is a size 10, apparently. She said the other week how she was a size 10, yet I've noticed all the clothes she's been buying lately state "Size 12"

 

Women are funny.

 

Hmmm, it might be time for ME to start up the walks again actually.

[rargh 4]

Oh and also something I find a little funny.

 

My missus is a size 10, apparently. She said the other week how she was a size 10, yet I've noticed all the clothes she's been buying lately state "Size 12"

 

Women are funny.

 

Hmmm, it might be time for ME to start up the walks again actually.

 

Damn those clothes shop LIARS!!!

[chrisbonnie 1,141]

I can see a "help I'm single again" thread being posted Sunday night.

 

Chrisbonnie, take her out for activities and do your part to make sure you both eat healthy stuff. But don't you fucking dare mentioning "lose" and "weight" in the same sentence.

 

we have a winner!!!

 

as i said, its not the excessive eating, she`s a fucker for snacks, say we have dinner, then get a dvd, she mills a bag of popcorn, even if its only an hour after dinner, i dont know how she does it, its more a force of habit, because no one could actually be hungry an hour after eating their dinner

 

i think its more walks in the evening for us two, YAY :biggrin:

[hamstrung 34]

Call her saddlebags and attempt to ride her around the living room like a horse.

 

I reckon Ted's got the solution right there.

 

All it needs is a nosebag full of Revels.

[chrisbonnie 1,141]

I reckon Ted's got the solution right there.

 

All it needs is a nosebag full of Revels.

 

the coffee one so she cant chow down :lol:

[Alan Sex 4,592]