I am man: hear me roar!!!

[A Red]

What type of car is that?

[VladimirIlyich]

3 minutes ago, A Red said:

What type of car is that?

A yuppy car.

[TheHowieLama]

38 minutes ago, A Red said:

What type of car is that?

Pronounced - poorshah

[A Red]

27 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Ha ha. It’s rusty, 21 years old with 174,00 miles on the clock and I’m fixing it (badly) with a £15 can of spray paint from Halfords but it’s still a Yuppy car. Only on the GF. 

Guaranteed to wind up the sisters

[Bruce Spanner]

Just took the top off a bottle of San Pellegrino.

 

Really took it out of me...

 

 

[A Red]

5 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Just took the top off a bottle of San Pellegrino.

 

Really took it out of me...

 

 

Shit at Man City and his beer is no better

[A Red]

57 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Just took the top off a bottle of San Pellegrino.

 

Really took it out of me...

 

 

Love the Bentley keyring strategically placed! What are you trying to tell us?

[Strontium]

Kurtz opened the bidding with a Porsche, now do we have any advance on a Bentley?

[Davelfc]

 

 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Went to a Chinese and Thai restaurant at night. When I ordered my ains  crispy chilli beef, I asked for it extra hot. After the starters were done a waitress came over and asked if I was sure I wanted it that hot because it was down as, "extra, extra hot" and the chef wanted to make sure whoever ordered it wanted it that way. 

 

Obviously I wasn't going to back down and when the food came I ate fuck out of it and finished it all.  I swear the waitress got a bit of a wide on when she took my plate away and looked upon my red, sweat-beaded face. 

 

[Davelfc]

4 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Went to a Chinese and Thai restaurant at night. When I ordered my ains  crispy chilli beef, I asked for it extra hot. After the starters were done a waitress came over and asked if I was sure I wanted it that hot because it was down as, "extra, extra hot" and the chef wanted to make sure whoever ordered it wanted it that way. 

 

Obviously I wasn't going to back down and when the food came I ate fuck out of it and finished it all.  I swear the waitress got a bit of a wide on when she took my plate away and looked upon my red, sweat-beaded face. 

 

I hope you have a bag of ice in the freezer for later 

[Paulie Dangerously]

2 hours ago, Poster said:

I hope you have a bag of ice in the freezer for later 

Bog roll in the fridge. I regret nothing 

[Strontium]

Currently being plagued by fruit flies. They have an unerring ability to find the tiniest bit of discarded fruit in the kitchen. So, I used their strength against them. Pure Sun Tzu Art of War. Took the top off an empty water bottle and put strawberry offcuts into it. Put the top back in, opened the sport cap and fashioned a cardboard funnel to aid them on their way inside. Left overnight in the kitchen, and 24 hours later there's 30-40 of the little fuckers in there. Lid back on and into the bin. Bon voyage.

 

 

 

[Paulie Dangerously]

10 hours ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

Currently being plagued by fruit flies. They have an unerring ability to find the tiniest bit of discarded fruit in the kitchen. So, I used their strength against them. Pure Sun Tzu Art of War. Took the top off an empty water bottle and put strawberry offcuts into it. Put the top back in, opened the sport cap and fashioned a cardboard funnel to aid them on their way inside. Left overnight in the kitchen, and 24 hours later there's 30-40 of the little fuckers in there. Lid back on and into the bin. Bon voyage.

 

 

 

Equally good technique is to put banana peel in an old yogurt pot with clingfilm over it. Pierce it loads with a toothpick

[stringvest]

On 02/08/2021 at 20:44, Vacant said:

 

 

I'd be fucking livid if I'd done that without evidence.  As GIF is my witness.

[stringvest]

On 19/06/2021 at 23:33, A Red said:

Love the Bentley keyring strategically placed! What are you trying to tell us?

Never mind that.  Look at the sheer decadence of those Joseph Joseph chopping boards.

[TheHowieLama]

10 minutes ago, stringvest said:

Never mind that.  Look at the sheer decadence of those Joseph Joseph chopping boards.

Also nice to see that Esther from accounting donated her old phone to help out.

[Bob]

Dyed my daughters hair and nailed the best plait I’ve ever done, all with zero outside assistance. Gets no more “man” than that.

 

 

[Captain Willard]

Put up a poly tunnel on my allotment. Clearing land then erecting a shelter for growing food, I feel I  could kill a lion now easily. 

[Rico1304]

We have a Bosche washing machine and when it’s finished it beeps louder than a screaming banshee, then, in case anyone in the post code hasn’t heard it it beeps again 30 seconds later and then, on the outside chance that someone has moved into earshot it beeps again 2 mins later. 
 

I’ve just found a YouTube video and turned it off

[YorkshireRed]

1 minute ago, Rico1304 said:

I’ve just found a YouTube video and turned it off

Ignore my response on the other thread. 
 

They can’t be related, no off button on my model. 

[Rico1304]

5 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Ignore my response on the other thread. 
 

They can’t be related, no off button on my model. 

Ha ha 

[Stouffer]

DCUK rep.

[Captain Willard]

I fixed the radiator after nearly 2 years of being asked. Took minutes with a spanner. I'm a popular guy tonight. 

[Mudface]

47 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

I fixed the radiator after nearly 2 years of being asked. Took minutes with a spanner. I'm a popular guy tonight. 

My youngest's been asking me to bleed his radiator for the last 7-8 months. He got home from school and thanked me today for fixing it- I didn't actually do anything. Feel like a king.