Jump to content
windass

Recommended Posts

JohnnyH    7,232

JohnnyH
Posted

Oh course he didn't/doesn't. If any person has even a 2 minute think to himself/herself it would confirm it's all rubbish. We die and we are maggot food, simple as.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

JohnnyH    7,232

JohnnyH
Posted
Oh course he didn't/doesn't. If any person has even a 2 minute think to himself/herself it would confirm it's all rubbish. We die and we are maggot food, simple as.

 

Just to add that if it turns out he does exist then I'm claiming that XabiD broke into my account and typed the above.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Guest davelfc   

Guest davelfc
Posted

To my goldfish I am god, I feed it and every now and then summon up clean water for it. I have untimate power over it

 

Of course if my fish had half a brain it would realise I've just trapped a fish in a bowl and clean up its shite when it clouds the water.

 

Much the same with humans, once we gathered our senses and realised that thunder wasn't god telling us to sacrifice 12 virgins things started to fall into place. Of course there are still some humans for whom evolution hasn't quite done all of its homework but it's not a perfect process by any means.

 

I like to think that if believing in god makes someone happier and more content then fine, I might think them as mad as a box of frogs but as long as they don't wake me up at 8.30 on a Saturday morning trying to preach to me I'll try not to hurl abuse at them and chase them down the drive.

 

So to sum up, if you need some kind of mental crutch that is the belief in some god then he does exists and lives part of the year with Santa (the warm half obviously)

 

I do have a questions for you though. Why if he took six days to make the earth did he say he was taking one day off to rest. As far as I can see apart from a few hours work since then he's had a few hundred billion days off since. Must be pissing mrs god off something chronic having him moping around the house. I mean creating the heaven and the stars and the earth was a great bit of work but you can't dine out on that for ever, or can you?

 

Maybe he's been buried up to his neck in paperwork? Can't be that easy dealing with the billions upon billions of dead people in heaven can it? I mean they're all supposed to be decent people but even decent people have complaints and need to be catered for.

 

I wonder if some days he just wishes he'd decided to take up an easy hobby after retirement, like carpentry.

 

That reminds me, 'he gave up his only son for us' Did he bollocks, he said "Jesus I'm sending you down there you lazy long haired poof' Some 35 or so years later he comes back after really making a balls up of the whole thing. So how exactly is that giving up your only son? What gets me is he's had a couple of thousand years to send someone else who could do the job properly and has he? Has he bollocks!

 

I've also got a problem with the commandents. Now I'm sort of ok with the reasoning behind most, after all killing stealing etc is just wrong and they're a given. But given the new Sunday trading laws you'd think he'd make a revision there. Also No1 is crap, "I am the Lord your God" You'd think if that's the first one then it would be pretty damned good. I'd expect from 8 on to be shite as you're basically running out of ideas. I'd like to suggest GOD if you're reading this, and you probably are, that you pass the revisions on to me and I'll post them on as many forums as I visit.

 

And what about Imaculate conception? Mentioned in the bible, I tried it with the CSA and they laughed at me. One rule for sons of god and another for us.

 

I could do this all day.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

TwelveMonkeys    0

TwelveMonkeys
Posted

It's all about the end game....

 

If you don't believe and there is, you are fucked.

If you don't believe and there isn't, you are fucked.

If you do believe and there isn't, you are fucked.

If you do believe and there is, welcome to the VIP room.

 

The answer is obvious......only a short minded fuckwit wouldn't believe.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

JohnnyH    7,232

JohnnyH
Posted
It's all about the end game....

 

If you don't believe and there is, you are fucked.

If you don't believe and there isn't, you are fucked.

If you do believe and there isn't, you are fucked.

If you do believe and there is, welcome to the VIP room.

 

The answer is obvious......only a short minded fuckwit wouldn't believe.

 

Yep. It's teh non-believers who are short minded fuckwits........ cuckoo cuckoo

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

TwelveMonkeys    0

TwelveMonkeys
Posted
Yep. It's teh non-believers who are short minded fuckwits........ cuckoo cuckoo

 

Well you can never prove a believer a fuck-wit now can you. A believer can prove a non-believer a fuck-wit though. If we all end up worm food then there won't be much proving to do of any kind. If however, by some fluke, there is a God and a Kingdom of Heaven, those that believed will be gutted they got called cukoo by some short minded nobber.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Flying Pig    57

Flying Pig
Posted
To my goldfish I am god, I feed it and every now and then summon up clean water for it. I have untimate power over it

 

Of course if my fish had half a brain it would realise I've just trapped a fish in a bowl and clean up its shite when it clouds the water.

 

Much the same with humans, once we gathered our senses and realised that thunder wasn't god telling us to sacrifice 12 virgins things started to fall into place. Of course there are still some humans for whom evolution hasn't quite done all of its homework but it's not a perfect process by any means.

 

I like to think that if believing in god makes someone happier and more content then fine, I might think them as mad as a box of frogs but as long as they don't wake me up at 8.30 on a Saturday morning trying to preach to me I'll try not to hurl abuse at them and chase them down the drive.

 

So to sum up, if you need some kind of mental crutch that is the belief in some god then he does exists and lives part of the year with Santa (the warm half obviously)

 

I do have a questions for you though. Why if he took six days to make the earth did he say he was taking one day off to rest. As far as I can see apart from a few hours work since then he's had a few hundred billion days off since. Must be pissing mrs god off something chronic having him moping around the house. I mean creating the heaven and the stars and the earth was a great bit of work but you can't dine out on that for ever, or can you?

 

Maybe he's been buried up to his neck in paperwork? Can't be that easy dealing with the billions upon billions of dead people in heaven can it? I mean they're all supposed to be decent people but even decent people have complaints and need to be catered for.

 

I wonder if some days he just wishes he'd decided to take up an easy hobby after retirement, like carpentry.

 

That reminds me, 'he gave up his only son for us' Did he bollocks, he said "Jesus I'm sending you down there you lazy long haired poof' Some 35 or so years later he comes back after really making a balls up of the whole thing. So how exactly is that giving up your only son? What gets me is he's had a couple of thousand years to send someone else who could do the job properly and has he? Has he bollocks!

 

I've also got a problem with the commandents. Now I'm sort of ok with the reasoning behind most, after all killing stealing etc is just wrong and they're a given. But given the new Sunday trading laws you'd think he'd make a revision there. Also No1 is crap, "I am the Lord your God" You'd think if that's the first one then it would be pretty damned good. I'd expect from 8 on to be shite as you're basically running out of ideas. I'd like to suggest GOD if you're reading this, and you probably are, that you pass the revisions on to me and I'll post them on as many forums as I visit.And what about Imaculate conception? Mentioned in the bible, I tried it with the CSA and they laughed at me. One rule for sons of god and another for us.

 

I could do this all day.

 

I cant read that without thinking of Ricky Gervais in his Animal stand up show. Great article though.

 

PS. Anyone who believe in Darwins Theory Of Evolution (i.e. Me)

cant believe in god. The End.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go To Topic Listing GF - General Forum
×