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My son is such a twat


She Knows It
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This is the 10 year old. He just went to bed, and got changed and came back down for a drink with his top off. His arms were all bruised and I asked what he'd done. He said "Oh that's from Charities Week".

 

For one week every year in school the kids take a load of slummy in every day, and the older kids run stalls and stuff at playtime and all the money goes to charity. Anyway, I thought he must've been doing an assault course or something and fallen off. When I questioned him further he told me he'd got the bruises from 'Penny a Smack'. He very proudly informed me that he'd raised 11 Pounds and 79 pence. So I asked "You mean you actually let people smack you for money?"

 

For the princely sum of 1 shiny penny my son has been letting other kids punch him. 1,179 times it seems. He told me a massive year 6 lad had nearly knocked him out. When I asked him why the hell he'd done it he looked at me like I was soft and said "It was for a good cause".

 

I don't know whether to feel proud, or make him an appointment with a psychologist. I despair of the lad. One day he's going to end up as the dozy sidekick of a megalomaniac.

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Haha, I saw him doing jump rope today with one of the other kids. The other kid in the rope with him looked like fucking Nureyev in comparison while the little fella looked like an arthritic elephant on rollerblades. If you check his neck you'll must likely see it covered in lashes from where the rope kept hitting him in neck on EVERY revolution.

 

It was killing me from not running over then and laughing at him before pushing him out of the way and doing some killer body popping moves to that rope. I wanted to get all High School Musical on his ass.

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Be honest SKI, youre dying to give him a quid to beat the shit out of him.

 

I'd give him a tenner. I was already at my wits end with him tonight. I took him to Pizza Hut for tea and on the way he asked me to take him to Argos (which usually means he's buying some extortionately prices yu-gi-oh! cards), so I parked up outside and said I'd wait in the car. He told me to come in to chat to while he waited. I went and sat on the chair while he paid, and then they called his number I walked over to the counter and there was a big fuck off plain brown cardboard box on the counter.

 

He looked at me and said "You'll have to carry that". I swear the bastard weighed over 60 pounds. So there's me trying to carry this big heavy box, in a pencil skirt and 4 inch heels across the car park, and I'm yelling "Open the boot! I'm dropping it". When I finally got it in the boot I said "What the hell have you bought?" and he said "Dumbells!"

 

What the fuck does a 10 year old kid want dumbells for? He got them home, flailed round with them for about 30 seconds and dumped them, moaning that they were too heavy. I fucking know. I've just lumped them half way across Bromborough!

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I'd give him a tenner. I was already at my wits end with him tonight. I took him to Pizza Hut for tea and on the way he asked me to take him to Argos (which usually means he's buying some extortionately prices yu-gi-oh! cards), so I parked up outside and said I'd wait in the car. He told me to come in to chat to while he waited. I went and sat on the chair while he paid, and then they called his number I walked over to the counter and there was a big fuck off plain brown cardboard box on the counter.

 

He looked at me and said "You'll have to carry that". I swear the bastard weighed over 60 pounds. So there's me trying to carry this big heavy box, in a pencil skirt and 4 inch heels across the car park, and I'm yelling "Open the boot! I'm dropping it". When I finally got it in the boot I said "What the hell have you bought?" and he said "Dumbells!"

 

What the fuck does a 10 year old kid want dumbells for? He got them home, flailed round with them for about 30 seconds and dumped them, moaning that they were too heavy. I fucking know. I've just lumped them half way across Bromborough!

 

Your life is like a soap, i love it!

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Guest thePoet
I'd give him a tenner. I was already at my wits end with him tonight. I took him to Pizza Hut for tea and on the way he asked me to take him to Argos (which usually means he's buying some extortionately prices yu-gi-oh! cards), so I parked up outside and said I'd wait in the car. He told me to come in to chat to while he waited. I went and sat on the chair while he paid, and then they called his number I walked over to the counter and there was a big fuck off plain brown cardboard box on the counter.

 

He looked at me and said "You'll have to carry that". I swear the bastard weighed over 60 pounds. So there's me trying to carry this big heavy box, in a pencil skirt and 4 inch heels across the car park, and I'm yelling "Open the boot! I'm dropping it". When I finally got it in the boot I said "What the hell have you bought?" and he said "Dumbells!"

 

What the fuck does a 10 year old kid want dumbells for? He got them home, flailed round with them for about 30 seconds and dumped them, moaning that they were too heavy. I fucking know. I've just lumped them half way across Bromborough!

 

You're letting your 10 year old buy things from Argos without asking beforehand what he's buying?

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OK, so the lad has got bruises all over his arms and now he's unexpectedly buying dumbells? I take it there isn't something unpleasant going on at school, a bit of bullying and the like?

 

Or is he really just mental?

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OK, so the lad has got bruises all over his arms and now he's unexpectedly buying dumbells? I take it there isn't something unpleasant going on at school, a bit of bullying and the like?

 

Or is he really just mental?

 

No, he really is that mental. My mates say I should write a book about him. He's the sweetest kid, he's hysterically funny and he's got the biggest heart. Everyone adores him. He's just so fucking gormless, I don't know what to do with him.

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No, he really is that mental. My mates say I should write a book about him. He's the sweetest kid, he's hysterically funny and he's got the biggest heart. Everyone adores him. He's just so fucking gormless, I don't know what to do with him.

 

Find his real mother?:whistle:

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