Wanking at work

[Duncan Clench 279]

Following on from the wanking in the shower thread, which in turn followed on from the peeing in the shower thread...

 

Do you, or have you ever had a wank at work?

 

I have. I probably knock one out in the toilets once a month. Usually on quiet days when there's nothing better to do than watch porn on the internet.

 

A mate of mine said that once he went into the filing area of his office, laid out a bin liner, climbed up a ladder and shot his nut butter onto the bin liner! Apparently the contrast of white-on-black was something to be enjoyed!

 

PS: Never done a poll before... hope it isn't too badly RiSed!

[Tom R 1,787]

Danger wanks.

[Nick Leeson 30]

I can't even remember when it was I did it but I'm pretty sure I did at one of my previous workplaces.

[RJ Fan club 1,697]

A guilty secret of mine. I wank often when I'm working from home.

[Nick Leeson 30]

A guilty secret of mine. I wank often when I'm working from home.

Hmm, that brings back a horror story, that does. Close call anyway.

 

Was pissing about with remote desktop and using my home pc which I was sat at from my desktop PC in work. Got bored and watched an, erm , video?

 

suddenly shit myself when I'd remembered I was still logged on from work and wondered as all traffic is monitored if anyone had seen what I was watching.

 

Everything was fine but my heart must have been racing more than Michael Hutchence's after his last wank.

[RedinSweden 909]

A guilty secret of mine. I wank often when I'm working from home.

 

Surely that doesn't count.

[RJ Fan club 1,697]

Surely that doesn't count.

 

Thats why I didn't vote, seemed to be cheating. Mind you I could hardly wank on a site visit and our office bogs are horrible.

[Section_31 25,688]

Fuck no, I've never been that horny.

[Duncan Clench 279]

More bored than horny.... and there's no better way to pass the time in my opinion!

[RedinSweden 909]

Fuck no, I've never been that horny.

 

Does getting paid to wank not cause a stirring?

[RedKnight 6,020]

Surely your dick would stink if you had a wank without full facilities to clean up?

[RJ Fan club 1,697]

Fuck no, I've never been that horny.

 

Does getting paid to wank not cause a stirring?

 

or smelling the fit bird's from Accounts swivell chair?

[Elmyn Noos 375]

All the time for me, and at pretty much every place I've ever worked. Probably down to once a week these days, but has been a point when it was every other day.

 

In fact, I might go for a wank right now.

[Duncan Clench 279]

I like your style noos!!

[RedinSweden 909]

Surely your dick would stink if you had a wank without full facilities to clean up?

 

And what pray tell is wrong with a stinky cock? If you are sat at your desk and there is a bit of a whiff and someone asks what the smell is, say "my cock".

[RedKnight 6,020]

And what pray tell is wrong with a stinky cock? If you are sat at your desk and there is a bit of a whiff and someone asks what the smell is, say "my cock".

 

It's bad hygiene and reduces the chance of impromptu suck treats.

[Section_31 25,688]

I can't just jizz and then carry on about my daily business, I look like I've been unplugged from the matrix for about an hour after I've emptied my balls.

 

It all needs to be planned like a military operation so that I don't end up in a vulnerable position, legally as well as medically.

[Rex Banner 39]

the only job where I could of done it easy without getting caught was when I worked construction on this phone exchange building with about 10 different toilet blocks and only about 10 people in the whole building.

I used to go sit in the toilets and read magazines to waste time because I had nothing to do for about 2 hours a day over a few different sessions but I never had the urge to wank or if I did I never acted on it.

[RedinSweden 909]

It's bad hygiene and reduces the chance of impromptu suck treats.

 

This is true, but any lass lucky enough to be giving me a suck treat should just be grateful and get on with it regardless of the sub-belt carnage going on in my pants.

[dirty_sanchez 41]

Most of the birds I work with are so ugly that I can never get past a semi anyways.

[Thants 58]

In a previous job. The girl on the floor above wore rediculously short skirts (classy lady) and once following her up the stairs I glanced up and quite wonderous thoughts followed and a trip to the lav.

 

My supervisor asked me where I'd been so I smirked and flung it in her ear.

 

The last bit wasnt true.

 

I had a similar experience a few weeks later but as I started to cue up a bloke got in the next cubicle and started squitting. Never had the inclination again.

[bri 19]

the old flushed, red look coming out the bog, spilling it on yer kecks, or just about to blow and someone walks in.

[Stu Monty 3,374]

Boredom is our enemy. We must take the battle to him at all times.

[Liam 1]

Wankers at work would have been a better thread!

 

I have a mate how confesses to doing this at work, the dirty bastard works with food as well.

[Jorge Borge 2]

Can I be the first to call you all dirty little monkeys and say a resounding "Hell, no!" How the feck do you get a PC into a cubicle anyway?

 

Still, must say I'm interested to hear Paul's answer.