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Strange Hobbies


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True story: I was walking to work one morning and a gaggle of cockneys (This was in Bradford) armed with with cameras an big-ass lenses came rushing towards me. "Fuck, I'm being papped" I thought, only for them to rush past me and start shooting away at the number 54 bus behind me. "Wow! 234556! - in Arriva Livery!" cried one of the 'paps'. I was gobsmacked - bus spotters. After they'd shot their load (of 35mm film), the daddy of them all turned around to his bobble-hatted mates and said: "That's quite enough excitement for one morning chaps. I say we repair to a Local Cafe for a cup of Tea, Stroke, Coffeee". And off they went. For a second, I envied them and their simple pleasures.

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  • 6 years later...

When I lived at my parents house they were trying to sell the house for ages. There was one family of weirdos who came to look at our house three times but never put a formal offer in to buy the house despite stringing us along for months. They completely disappeared and never answered any of our messages we left for them at the estate agents. My mums mate put her house for sale and this family came around twice to look at hers but again never bought it despite saying they were interested, they used a different surname to the one they used to look at our one. A year later my Dad was driving down a road in Crosby and saw them coming out of another house with an estate agent. My Dad got out the car and walked up to them and had a go at them. They admitted there and then that they were just a bunch of nosey time wasting cunts who like looking round people's houses.

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When I lived at my parents house they were trying to sell the house for ages. There was one family of weirdos who came to look at our house three times but never put a formal offer in to buy the house despite stringing us along for months. They completely disappeared and never answered any of our messages we left for them at the estate agents. My mums mate put her house for sale and this family came around twice to look at hers but again never bought it despite saying they were interested, they used a different surname to the one they used to look at our one. A year later my Dad was driving down a road in Crosby and saw them coming out of another house with an estate agent. My Dad got out the car and walked up to them and had a go at them. They admitted there and then that they were just a bunch of nosey time wasting cunts who like looking round people's houses.

I could get into that I reckon; proper nosey cunt me.
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My mums mates husband used to collect model trains and had one bedroom stripped out to put in all his railway tracks with a space in the middle of the room to operate the train sets from. Whenever my mum took us round to see her he would always be in his train room. When you are eight its probably fascinating but now I think he could have been a Peado who didn't like Werthers Originals. He would spend most of his time in his train set room completely ignoring my mums mate. It was no surprise when my mums mate started shagging some fella at work, divorced him and moved with her new fella to Bristol.

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My mums mates husband used to collect model trains and had one bedroom stripped out to put in all his railway tracks with a space in the middle of the room to operate the train sets from. Whenever my mum took us round to see her he would always be in his train room. When you are eight its probably fascinating but now I think he could have been a Peado who didn't like Werthers Originals. He would spend most of his time in his train set room completely ignoring my mums mate. It was no surprise when my mums mate started shagging some fella at work, divorced him and moved with her new fella to Bristol.

I bet he was gutted; lovely station Bristol.
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When we were selling our house a few years ago our first viewer was this mad woman about mid forties and her mum, I remember at the time being quite exited as the house had only gone up the day before but the estate agent more or less told us that it was a no go and don't get our hopes up.

 

Pair of weird busy cunts turned up and mooched around the house with hardly a word between them, barely

made eye contact and shuffled off without so much as a thanks. Turns out they would ring the estate agents every morning to see if they have anything new on the market and make appointment to any they could get to on a bus. Freaks.

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When we were selling our house a few years ago our first viewer was this mad woman about mid forties and her mum, I remember at the time being quite exited as the house had only gone up the day before but the estate agent more or less told us that it was a no go and don't get our hopes up.

Pair of weird busy cunts turned up and mooched around the house with hardly a word between them, barely

made eye contact and shuffled off without so much as a thanks. Turns out they would ring the estate agents every morning to see if they have anything new on the market and make appointment to any they could get to on a bus. Freaks.

Brilliant, they probably got home and had a long bizarre discussion about it. My sister worked at some women's clothes shop in Clayton Square and there were about 4/5 women they called "bulimic shoppers". Basically they would buy tons of clobber, get home, try it on then take it back within a week demanding their money back. All were in pristine condition with all the price tags still on so it wasn't like they bought them, wore them and took them back being cheeky.

 

Fella who sits next to me in work said he used to work with a woman who was the head of the Micheal Jackson UK fan club and would spend most of her day replying to people from all over Britain, yet she could never explain what she actually did. She ran out of work crying one day when he said that Micheal Jackson was a Peado who had threesomes with Bubbles the Chimp and Macaulay Culkin.

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Speaking of Eddie Stobart.

 

Al's mate ************, part of the TSOP branch was helping out on a school trip for his lad when a child asked why they have name's on the the lorries.

 

*********assured the young child that it was the name of any kid they had ran over

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