Putting your foot in it...

[Elite]

Been texting a girl I like.

 

Ends up with me sending a text saying 'You're keen alright!'

 

D'oh. :D

[Randy Marsh]

Shit! How did you come to sending that to her?

 

I had a similar thing a few years back now. Similar situation, id been txting some bird loads but she had a feller who she was having trouble with. She txts me saying she's split with him. I go to txt me best mate saying something like "haha, she's split with the dick head" or something like that, but her number is next to my best mates. So you all know what happened next. Worked out ok, although felt a total twat at the time.

[madstock]

Texting is a fucking nightmare - having an ex and indeed an ex-ex with the same initials means squeaky bum time every time one is sent. Which wasn't often.

[Elite]

She text me twice in about 10 mins thats why I said it, she text me back saying 'what do you mean by that?' I have smoothed things over now thank fuck.

[Randy Marsh]

Here is my nightmare scenario:

 

Going out with the lads in to town, full on session on the ale, absolutely smashed off my tits, usually not being able to remember most of the night and how i got home. Then waking up to see my flip phone, open, next to my face on the pillow. There is no worse feeling of dread and terror in the world. Its happened so many times. Ive been utterly wankerd, started txting birds and coming out with all kinds of shite, birds who in most cases i shouldnt even be txting, like my mates auntie (long long story). I just dont take my phone out with me any more, to try and prevent it from happening. And if it does happen i just delete my whole "sent items" without reading anything, and usually wait about 6hours untill ive got the bollocks to read my inbox

[Elite]

Here is my nightmare scenario:

 

Going out with the lads in to town, full on session on the ale, absolutely smashed off my tits, usually not being able to remember most of the night and how i got home. Then waking up to see my flip phone, open, next to my face on the pillow. There is no worse feeling of dread and terror in the world. Its happened so many times. Ive been utterly wankerd, started txting birds and coming out with all kinds of shite, birds who in most cases i shouldnt even be txting, like my mates auntie (long long story). I just dont take my phone out with me any more, to try and prevent it from happening. And if it does happen i just delete my whole "sent items" without reading anything, and usually wait about 6hours untill ive got the bollocks to read my inbox

 

Ha ha. I have done that a few times myself mate. If I don't pull and get a bit drunk, it's plan B time. Which usually consists of asking birds to send me pics of their tits and stuff :whistle:

[madstock]

If I don't pull and get a bit drunk, it's plan B time. Which usually consists of asking birds to send me pics of their tits and stuff :whistle:

 

I thought that was plan A?

[Elite]

I thought that was plan A?

 

It hardly ever works, thats why it's plan B!

[Guest TK-421]

Texting is a fucking nightmare - having an ex and indeed an ex-ex with the same initials means squeaky bum time every time one is sent. Which wasn't often.

 

Call them by something else so that they're not next to each other in your contacts = no more squeaky bum time.

[madstock]

Rather marvellously I have done something very similar today on Facebook...

 

In my excessively hungover state I installed an application that I *thought* was similar to the old "hot or not" thing, whereby you click upon the friend of a friend if you would ... something to pass a few minutes that didn't require too much thought.

 

It transpired that I have sent dating requests to god know's how many people including half a dozen exes. Great stuff...

[Newport]

She text me twice in about 10 mins thats why I said it, she text me back saying 'what do you mean by that?' I have smoothed things over now thank fuck.

 

It could be worse. Like her not texting back.

[Terry Tibbs]

What the fack is wrong with you youngsters these days? It's all text messaging, emailing and hadbag.com. Ring her up, buy her a nice bunch of roses, take her to devon foe the weeken. She'll love you for that! Terry Tibbs has had more women than you've had wanks son, so think on and take his advice.

[rondeco]

A mate in work got a bollocking from the boss. A real bad one. She then texted her husband to tell him and started the text with 'That fat slimy cunt has just bollocked me out of it..' And then texted it to the boss....

[madstock]

Rather marvellously I have done something very similar today on Facebook...

 

In my excessively hungover state I installed an application that I *thought* was similar to the old "hot or not" thing, whereby you click upon the friend of a friend if you would ... something to pass a few minutes that didn't require too much thought.

 

It transpired that I have sent dating requests to god know's how many people including half a dozen exes. Great stuff...

 

... and like a twat after sending out apologetic emails to a few people I have done *exactly* the same today.

 

My only excuse is that I have been thinking in Polish today, and the instructions were along the lines of "If you do not not want to not send this, do not not click this button"

 

Fucktard.

[Anubis]

Ive been utterly wankerd, started txting birds and coming out with all kinds of shite, birds who in most cases i shouldnt even be txting, like my mates auntie (long long story)

We've got the time. Spill.

[lifetime fan]

I was nailing this student sort a while back, anyway i was house sitting for my old dear when she was in Greece on holiday, so I arrange for her to come round in a Taxi as I'd been out on the piss with the lads for the evening and come home horny. I was too lazy for a wank so I thought I'd get her to come over.

 

After we've finished speaking on the phone I thought I'd text her saying "don't forget your nurses uniform and vibrator".

 

However Manda and Mother were next to each other in my contacts, you can guess who I sent it to.

[Spy Bee]

Haha Madstock. You are talking about Spark aren't you? Unless you clicked the left hand side one (which quite clearly states 'let them know' - you donut!), then they can only find out if they said they wanted to date you too. And they probably have several thousand people to review.

 

I put that I wanted to date three sisters, then quickly deleted the application after realising the potential implications.

[madstock]

Haha Madstock. You are talking about Spark aren't you? Unless you clicked the left hand side one (which quite clearly states 'let them know' - you donut!), then they can only find out if they said they wanted to date you too. And they probably have several thousand people to review.

 

I put that I wanted to date three sisters, then quickly deleted the application after realising the potential implications.

 

Indeed I am, Mr S - sent invites to old mates, the ex, Lezzer, the ex-before the ex and all sorts of random people.

 

The app has now gone for good, and I fully intend to be meeting "real" people instead.

 

Worrafuckup.

[Spy Bee]

You're joking aren't you?

 

I got told that people had said they wanted to date me, but then I was told I had to review two thousand women to find out who wanted to date me.

 

I think and hope.

[madstock]

As it happens, I just closed this window mindful of the fact that I was going to bed about 1½ hours ago to be informed that I have got a notification from Zoosk, which is a much more geotargetted thing.

 

I shall investigate further and report findings to the group. (Or not actually, I've got to stop doing that).

 

I blame the fucking pub for not being closer and/or incentivising me to go tonight.

[Section_31]

What's that 'Are you Interested' bollocks? 'See who clicked yes on yoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!'

 

Nah

[Jorge Borge]

I was enjoying the prolonged company of one particular lady who was quite the cheeky, young thing. I'd never been into sending texts of a less than clean nature but thought I'd have a crack. I duly informed her of what I'd do were she there at that moment but didn't get anything back. Thinking she wasn't into that I felt a bit of a twat and put it down to experience. It was a few hours later when I received a message saying "I'm glad my sister has found someone who shares her interests." It turns out since I saw her last she'd got a new phone and given the old one to her brother. Felt a right old shite as I would never want to know that anyone even thought of doing the kinds of things to my sister that I wrote in that message.

[Redder Lurtz]

I was enjoying the prolonged company of one particular lady who was quite the cheeky, young thing. I'd never been into sending texts of a less than clean nature but thought I'd have a crack. I duly informed her of what I'd do were she there at that moment but didn't get anything back. Thinking she wasn't into that I felt a bit of a twat and put it down to experience. It was a few hours later when I received a message saying "I'm glad my sister has found someone who shares her interests." It turns out since I saw her last she'd got a new phone and given the old one to her brother. Felt a right old shite as I would never want to know that anyone even thought of doing the kinds of things to my sister that I wrote in that message.

 

What did you threaten to do to her, George? We want to know.

[Redder Lurtz]

Two recent cockups:

 

1.) During my recent divorce I spent a lot of time rowing with the ex via text. I can't be arsed with arguing face to face these days and she kept hanging up if I called her. If I tell you that my mum sent me regular texts to make sure I was alright you'll probably get a rough idea of where this is going. My mum managed to send me a text in the middle of a text row I was having with the ex. "Is she being ok with you, are you alright?" received a reply along the lines of "She's an absolute bitch. I can't believed I married this nasty piece of work. I can't wait until the cow gets my surname off her rancid persona." I recieved a text from the ex a few minutes later saying "I think you meant to send that to your mum." It's so easy to lose the upper hand in an argument when you drop a clanger like that.

 

2.) I've recently been in touch with an old flame called Jodie. She's a dirty little minx, always was. And we'll be hooking up in a few weeks. She's had a couple of kids so you can be assured I'll add my bit to the BuFaRP (Bucket Fanny Research Project) thread. Anyway, there's been plenty of flirty texts going on. She's a lover of anything new and I read this bit about a kneeling, naked woman taking a mouthful of condensed milk and then having a stiff one inserted to said mouthful of condensed milk. Apparently it feels outstanding for the bloke and it's absolute filth in terms of the visual impact. A bit of a sticky mess but I though, why not give it a go. I mentioned the idea to Jodie in a text and didn't get a reply for a while. The text I got the next day saying "I don't know what to say to that" was from a bird called Jody, who I used to work with, a girl about 18 years my junior, who has no doubt told all her mates what an utter pervert I am. She's right of course but I'm just pleased I'll probably never bump into her as I live a lot farther away from her than I did.

[Terry Tibbs]

I was enjoying the prolonged company of one particular lady who was quite the cheeky, young thing. I'd never been into sending texts of a less than clean nature but thought I'd have a crack. I duly informed her of what I'd do were she there at that moment but didn't get anything back. Thinking she wasn't into that I felt a bit of a twat and put it down to experience. It was a few hours later when I received a message saying "I'm glad my sister has found someone who shares her interests." It turns out since I saw her last she'd got a new phone and given the old one to her brother. Felt a right old shite as I would never want to know that anyone even thought of doing the kinds of things to my sister that I wrote in that message.

 

Where you born yesterday son? The girl was so fackin repulsed by you that she gave you her sisters number so she wouldn't have to speak to you and imagine your wrinkley little ball bag again. Take my advice son, Terry Tibbs has been smashing the arse out of cheeky types since you where shitting in a nappy. Thank you, much love goodnight.