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Divorce - pros & cons?


Redder Lurtz
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16 minutes ago, 3 Stacks said:

Serious question: What possible con could there be to divorce if it gets to the point for either person where they're seriously thinking about it? What is the percentage where that situation is ever salvageable or people change their minds and live happily ever after together? Can't be very big. Other than having a two parent home for a kid, but then if both parents are competent, is that even an issue these days? And even if you stay together, there's probably fighting all the time and shit.

 

Just feels like one of those things, if it's on the table, you just gotta do it and move on.

Lots of reasons. This sounds really shit but as unhappy as I was I’d have never left her as it was a genuine worry for me that she’d have gone right on the turn.

The thought of being absolutely bent over in divorce court, limited time with the kids, being financially destroyed, being the one ‘at fault my so worrying about the reaction of friends and family to you ‘breaking up your family’ was more scary than putting up with being unhappy.

Plus, they’re all the same anyway so you’ll end up hating the next one as much anyway and will have to go through it again. Basically, better the devil you know.

It would definitely be miles easier if there was no kids. Once they’re involved the women have got you right by the bollocks

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10 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

Lots of reasons. This sounds really shit but as unhappy as I was I’d have never left her as it was a genuine worry for me that she’d have gone right on the turn.

The thought of being absolutely bent over in divorce court, limited time with the kids, being financially destroyed, being the one ‘at fault my so worrying about the reaction of friends and family to you ‘breaking up your family’ was more scary than putting up with being unhappy.

Plus, they’re all the same anyway so you’ll end up hating the next one as much anyway and will have to go through it again. Basically, better the devil you know.

It would definitely be miles easier if there was no kids. Once they’re involved the women have got you right by the bollocks

Women or marriages? Because I don't think that's true at all. Maybe back in the day you were expected to tough it out for religious reasons or for your name not to be shamed or whatever, but nowadays if a situation is toxic, you're lauded for getting out of it. You can't live being that cynical.

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16 minutes ago, 3 Stacks said:

Women or marriages? Because I don't think that's true at all. Maybe back in the day you were expected to tough it out for religious reasons or for your name not to be shamed or whatever, but nowadays if a situation is toxic, you're lauded for getting out of it. You can't live being that cynical.

I gave my personal experience. There were no religious regions. I weighed it up and decided I was better off where I was.

I don’t think I’m the only person who would have stayed in a marriage because it seemed better than the potential for what could happen.

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  • 2 months later...

In what world is it justifiable to give your ex wife half your pension? What a load of fucking shite. Why the fuck does any man get married. 

 

My brother in law was in the army for years and had to give his ex a massive payout, presumably with his army pension. She went to Vietnam with her new fella for six weeks on the piss and smoking weed. 

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3 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

My old boss got divorced and she argued that she’d sacrificed her carear to be main parent. She said that having taken 15 years out of work she could never attain the wages he was earning, The judge agreed and awarded her  1/2 the assets but more painfully 1/3 of his income for the rest of his life ! 

I blame Ray Parlour.

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On 27/10/2018 at 21:46, Geoff Woade said:

Mines just gone out tonight saying she is going seeing her mate to talk about things because it’s all just so much to cope with. Complete with hair fully done, full face of make up and stinking of perfume. She’s also disabled the find my friend app we have both always used for safety reasons.

 

while typing this, she’s also texted saying she’s had a drink so not coming home.

 

She’ll still deny it because she slags off absolutely anyone she gets a whiff is cheating as it’s way outside her beliefs apparently. 

 

Mental thing is I’ve already told her it’s fine to split, I know the score and I’m not the type to go psycho and as long as it’s fair and I can see the kids and not be bankrupted I’m happy to do this in the friendliest way possible and have the bare minimal legal involvement..

 

i like to think I’m fair, balanced and always put others first but this is all so strange to me. Definitely going to have to start changing my outlook, I’d love to be one of these people with absolutely no guilt because she would be getting told what time it is and fuck the consequences. As it is all I care about is the embarrassment of it all and making sure mine and my parents hearts and broken by having the time with the kids limited.

 

 

 

 

Hopefully time was a healer but every time I read this I want to put my foot through the tele. 

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On 04/02/2021 at 20:43, Colonel Kurtz said:

My old boss got divorced and she argued that she’d sacrificed her carear to be main parent. She said that having taken 15 years out of work she could never attain the wages he was earning, The judge agreed and awarded her  1/2 the assets but more painfully 1/3 of his income for the rest of his life ! 

Thank Ray fucking Parlor for that. 

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On 04/02/2021 at 20:14, Doctor Troy said:

In what world is it justifiable to give your ex wife half your pension? What a load of fucking shite. Why the fuck does any man get married. 

 

The whole concept of marriage and a wedding is just nonsensical to me. Spending an insane amount of money on essentially jewellery and a meal with a party. Fuck That. Luckily my Mrs is quite chilled out about the whole thing. If ever I had to do it, I would want to do it in Vegas. I would definitely want a pre nup as well.   

   

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1 hour ago, John102 said:

Hopefully time was a healer but every time I read this I want to put my foot through the tele. 

That’s very kind. The last couple of years have been a bit up and down but finally sorted. Everyone is settled, I have the kids half the time, everything very fair finance wise and I can honestly say she’s a much better ex wife than wife. Definitely worth the pain for the gain.

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My divorce has given me a new lease of life. It was the most painful time of my life and cost me a shit load of money, but now I'm through that I can see that it was absolutely the right thing to happen. I've been with my girlfriend for the best part of 3 and a half years and my relationship with her is a million times better than what my marriage became. Pre-lockdown I got back to playing and watching f***y with my mates, went skiing with the lads and became myself again.

I miss my daughters when they're not with me of course but I see them on a weekly basis and it's proper quality time.

Onwards and upwards as they say.

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1 minute ago, Jenson said:

My divorce has given me a new lease of life. It was the most painful time of my life and cost me a shit load of money, but now I'm through that I can see that it was absolutely the right thing to happen. I've been with my girlfriend for the best part of 3 and a half years and my relationship with her is a million times better than what my marriage became. Pre-lockdown I got back to playing and watching f***y with my mates, went skiing with the lads and became myself again.

I miss my daughters when they're not with me of course but I see them on a weekly basis and it's proper quality time.

Onwards and upwards as they say.

Glad to hear it

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19 hours ago, Geoff Woade said:

That’s very kind. The last couple of years have been a bit up and down but finally sorted. Everyone is settled, I have the kids half the time, everything very fair finance wise and I can honestly say she’s a much better ex wife than wife. Definitely worth the pain for the gain.

Yeah my ex-wife is a thousand times more reasonable as an ex than as a wife.

 

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On 05/02/2021 at 21:36, Rico1304 said:

Thank Ray fucking Parlor for that. 

A comedy scenario that would translate well to tv would be the solicitor handing you the bill for services after a ruling like he got. Even Lionel Hutz would have the good grace to have bleach for lunch after that one.

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A mate of mine had been with his gf for 8 years and decided to get married. The spent £22k on the wedding and were divorced 7 months later.

Another had been with his missus for 12 years, got married and were divorced 4 months later. He had to pay her £120k and half the house but she forfeited all other claims

Fuck that!!

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1 hour ago, Liverpool lad said:

I still find the concept of marriage and the clamour to go through with it somewhat puzzling 

Being brutal I’d say that for the girls it’s that desire to be a princess for a day, all the planning, attention etc. The only lads who’d be massive into it are the ones who are punching and want to get it locked in legally. 
 

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