Divorce - pros & cons?

[Redder Lurtz]

I've been with my other half for nearly nine years, married for nearly 3 1/2 of those. Six months ago she decides she wants a divorce. Nothing too specific, just bits and pieces cobbled together to make a divorce petition. Devastated me at first but I've had a few months under the same roof as her to come to terms with it. I move out this Saturday and the decree absolute will be issued on March 3rd. I've spent the last 24 hours weighing up pros and cons of the divorce and I've decided the following:

 

Cons:

 

No guaranteed shag on tap

No guaranteed company

Loss of some 'joint' friends

 

 

Pros:

 

No more listening to her rattling on about her boring fucking job

It's given me the kick up the backside I needed to go & get the job I really wanted, which I've done

The new job will aid my social life to no end

I'm 39, not exactly over the hill

I've just rented a cool flat which has a swimming pool, gym, jacuzzi and steam room on the ground floor

I'll lose the stone I've been threatening to lose for so long

I'm about to book a lads' holiday for me and one of my mates later this year

I've got in touch with a couple of old flames :drool:

It's gonna be SO easy to pull living in the flat I've got

 

In conclusion:

 

Fuck her, stupid bitch. Her fucking loss.

[WaltonRed]

Spot on all of it. If its definitely over move on and fill your boots!

 

Good Luck K68!

[Guest PaddyBerger15]

You can guarantee that 2 months after the decree absolute is issued that the stupid, head fucking, game playing, emotional fucking retard will contact you with the immortal "I think I might have made a mistake...."(and start crying obviously).

Now squire.....the response to this is....."Too fucking right love, you contact me again and I'll send PB round with his axe" (do insane laugh) and put the phone down.

Don't under any circumstances entertain her in any conversation on the subject...women were invented by God, like plagues and floods and things to fuck our lives up....thats why I have to torture and kill them as horribly as possible.

Move on and live your life, you cant wait around for permission off an emotional cripple to enjoy yourself.

[madstock]

"Nine years" is obviously the new "Seven years" - probably something to do with greater life expectancy; my recent split was after a similar timescale.

 

I applaud your conclusions, Mr K68; "get on with living life" is most certainly the way to deal with it.

[Cath]

So she got the house huh?

[WaltonRed]

So she got the house huh?

 

Dont they always?

[LFC Brian]

You can guarantee that 2 months after the decree absolute is issued that the stupid, head fucking, game playing, emotional fucking retard will contact you with the immortal "I think I might have made a mistake...."(and start crying obviously).

Now squire.....the response to this is....."Too fucking right love, you contact me again and I'll send PB round with his axe" (do insane laugh) and put the phone down.

Don't under any circumstances entertain her in any conversation on the subject...women were invented by God, like plagues and floods and things to fuck our lives up....thats why I have to torture and kill them as horribly as possible.

Move on and live your life, you cant wait around for permission off an emotional cripple to enjoy yourself.

 

 

 

PB could you just come round and give my girlfriend a bit of a warning,shes fuckin pissin me off at the moment ??

[navbasi]

As long as there are no kids involved and it all sounds like pretty cool... and I bet she doesn't call like PB15 said... she's probably thought about this for a long time and it doesn't sound like she's just come to this decision.

 

Sorry to piss on your parade, but she's probably made the same list and you'll probably bump into her on holiday!!!

 

Enjoy mate!

[WaltonRed]

Can I come the house warming?

[MAC5]

I've been with my other half for nearly nine years, married for nearly 3 1/2 of those. Six months ago she decides she wants a divorce. Nothing too specific, just bits and pieces cobbled together to make a divorce petition. Devastated me at first but I've had a few months under the same roof as her to come to terms with it. I move out this Saturday and the decree absolute will be issued on March 3rd. I've spent the last 24 hours weighing up pros and cons of the divorce and I've decided the following:

 

Cons:

 

No guaranteed shag on tap

No guaranteed company

Loss of some 'joint' friends

 

 

Pros:

 

No more listening to her rattling on about her boring fucking job

It's given me the kick up the backside I needed to go & get the job I really wanted, which I've done

The new job will aid my social life to no end

I'm 39, not exactly over the hill

I've just rented a cool flat which has a swimming pool, gym, jacuzzi and steam room on the ground floor

I'll lose the stone I've been threatening to lose for so long

I'm about to book a lads' holiday for me and one of my mates later this year

I've got in touch with a couple of old flames :drool:

It's gonna be SO easy to pull living in the flat I've got

 

In conclusion:

 

Fuck her, stupid bitch. Her fucking loss.

 

 

You jammy bastard.

 

I wish i could have some of your luck.

[Cath]

You can guarantee that 2 months after the decree absolute is issued that the stupid, head fucking, game playing, emotional fucking retard will contact you with the immortal "I think I might have made a mistake...."(and start crying obviously).

Now squire.....the response to this is....."Too fucking right love, you contact me again and I'll send PB round with his axe" (do insane laugh) and put the phone down.

Don't under any circumstances entertain her in any conversation on the subject...women were invented by God, like plagues and floods and things to fuck our lives up....thats why I have to torture and kill them as horribly as possible.

Move on and live your life, you cant wait around for permission off an emotional cripple to enjoy yourself.

 

You're shagging her aren't you?

[Redder Lurtz]

Thanks for the support guys. Yes she got the house and after we'd paid a few joint debts and settled solicitors' fees I've walked away with a few quid. I'm off the property ladder which is a bit of a shitter but at least I'm not sat in a fucking great unsellable 4 bedroom house like her. The house is in North Yorkshire and she wants to move back over to her family and stupid fucking mates in Lancashire. I think she might be waiting a year or two though (6)

 

Maybe she has drawn a list up herself and best of fucking luck to her if she has. I couldn't give a rat's cock to be fair. It's her who decdided this so it's me who's had to do the majority of the emotional coping. On Monday I noticed that the silly mare has started wearing her engagement ring on her other hand. I mean, what for? While I'm still there and would obviously notice? What's all that about? What's the purpose of that?

 

There's no kids involved so we can both move on now I guess. I fucking guarantee I'll be having more fun than her over the next year or two though, that I can guarantee yous :-)

[Unrighteous]

Celebrate with a five hooker orgy in Amsterdam or Prague

[RedinSweden]

PB could you just come round and give my girlfriend a bit of a warning,shes fuckin pissin me off at the moment ??

 

If you think she would take being chopped up into small bits and kept in an assortment of shoeboxes as a warning, then yes, he could "warn her".

[madstock]

So she got the house huh?

 

Dont they always?

 

Yes, they do.

[rondeco]

I've been with my other half for nearly nine years, married for nearly 3 1/2 of those. Six months ago she decides she wants a divorce. Nothing too specific, just bits and pieces cobbled together to make a divorce petition. Devastated me at first but I've had a few months under the same roof as her to come to terms with it. I move out this Saturday and the decree absolute will be issued on March 3rd. I've spent the last 24 hours weighing up pros and cons of the divorce and I've decided the following:

 

Cons:

 

No guaranteed shag on tap

No guaranteed company

Loss of some 'joint' friends

 

 

Pros:

 

No more listening to her rattling on about her boring fucking job

It's given me the kick up the backside I needed to go & get the job I really wanted, which I've done

The new job will aid my social life to no end

I'm 39, not exactly over the hill

I've just rented a cool flat which has a swimming pool, gym, jacuzzi and steam room on the ground floor

I'll lose the stone I've been threatening to lose for so long

I'm about to book a lads' holiday for me and one of my mates later this year

I've got in touch with a couple of old flames :drool:

It's gonna be SO easy to pull living in the flat I've got

 

In conclusion:

 

Fuck her, stupid bitch. Her fucking loss.

 

If you were getting sex on tap from her then she sounds perfect. You fucked up dude!

[Redder Lurtz]

If you were getting sex on tap from her then she sounds perfect. You fucked up dude!

 

How did I fuck up? It was her who initiated the divorce.

 

Anyhoo, been there, done that. Time to check out some fresh lady-bits.

[Section_31]

Quite lucky really mate to know that at the age of 39 the marriage wasn't gonna last into your twilight days, you'd have looked a bit daft going on a lad's holiday at the age of 49! And all the flashy apartments in the world wouldn't have helped your pulling chances with the local vixens.

 

Good work!

[She Knows It]

Yes, they do.

 

Erm, no they don't. My husband kept our "marital home" because he was an idle, layabout, student fuckwit and I was the breadwinner.

[LFC Brian]

If you think she would take being chopped up into small bits and kept in an assortment of shoeboxes as a warning, then yes, he could "warn her".

 

 

I think that may make her change the stinking attitude she has got lately yeah

[rondeco]

How did I fuck up? It was her who initiated the divorce.

 

Anyhoo, been there, done that. Time to check out some fresh lady-bits.

Only winding you up chap..

Erm, no they don't. My husband kept our "marital home" because he was an idle, layabout, student fuckwit and I was the breadwinner.

Hmm, interesting!

[MAC5]

Cons:

 

No guaranteed shag on tap

 

 

I thought you said you were married to her?

 

I was under the impression that when they say I DO in the church it secretly translates to "im to tired" in the bedroom.

[Anubis]

Erm, no they don't. My husband kept our "marital home" because he was an idle, layabout, student fuckwit and I was the breadwinner.

If you ask nicely, I think Paddy will oblige.

[madstock]

Erm, no they don't. My husband kept our "marital home" because he was an idle, layabout, student fuckwit and I was the breadwinner.

 

Ah, he was your bitch y'see - I shall rephrase "The more masculine one gets to leave the home" :whistle:

[Guest PaddyBerger15]

PB could you just come round and give my girlfriend a bit of a warning,shes fuckin pissin me off at the moment ??

 

If you ask nicely, I think Paddy will oblige.

 

Yeah nay worries on either count. I don't really do warnings, its horrible death or nothing.