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How Do I Boil an Egg?

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I've been waiting for the old girl to get up since 11.30, she's still in bed so it looks like I'll have to do the unthinkable and actually cook my own breakfast.

 

I quite fancy a soft boiled egg and some soldiers, how do I go about this? I googled the same question and it gave me this:

 

I shit you not

 

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This document is an introduction to of some of the science relevant to preparing boiled eggs. It has evolved from a letter published in the Last Word section of New Scientist magazine (04-April-98) which answered a question by Chris Finn, who asked 'Does anybody have a formula to calculate the boiling time for a soft-boiled egg, given its weight and initial temperature?'.

 

Boiling an Egg

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Pan of water, let it boil.

 

Stick in an egg. Leave it in for 3mins to 6mins depending if you like it runny or hard.

 

3 mins it is! Cheers mate!

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It's fucking difficult though. You can put an egg in for three minutes and it will come out perfect. The next day you take an egg from the same carton, put it in for the same time and it comes out barely boiled at all, with the white not having set at all. Sooo, you try again with another egg from the same carton, put it in for about four minutes and it explodes. In short, get your ma to do it.

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Pan of water, let it boil.

 

Stick in an egg. Leave it in for 3mins to 6mins depending if you like it runny or hard.

No, put the egg in before the water boils, or you risk the hellish scenario of a cracked egg!
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No, put the egg in before the water boils, or you risk the hellish scenario of a cracked egg!

 

What about the hellish scenario of a bad arse? Am I gonna get sick now?

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Looking for a thread and stumbled across this one. A good example of how many of us, who now have wives and kids, were absolute man babies back in the day. 
 

I probably couldn’t boil or scramble an egg in 2008 and now, I don’t like to boast, I can even make an omelette. 

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On 19/01/2008 at 15:32, Elite said:

I have 6 scrambled eggs a day, very nice with a tin of tomatoes.

Alreet Mrs. Beardsley; say Hi to your Peter for me.

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3 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

Alreet Mrs. Beardsley; say Hi to your Peter for me.

You'll have to explain that one for me?

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Just now, Elite said:

You'll have to explain that one for me?

I’m not sure what it means either, except you are in no way as handsome as Peter Beardsley so it’s an unfair comparison. 

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5 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

I’m not sure what it means either, except you are in no way as handsome as Peter Beardsley so it’s an unfair comparison. 

I don't think anyone is to be fair. 

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11 minutes ago, Elite said:

You'll have to explain that one for me?

Its from the Athletico Mince podcast with Bob Mortimer.

 

He does a character of Peter Beardsley and his missus is a massive egg fan, it's brilliant you should give it a listen.

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I got myself an old fashioned missus I guess, she does all the cooking, she's a great cook and baker, when it comes to food I dont do anything. She won't even let me put the shopping away because she's fucking OCD about where stuff goes. Eventually as you get older the saying a way to a man's heart is through his stomach becomes more true or at least the way to keep the heart once the initial fuck phase hits normality.

 

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18 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

I got myself an old fashioned missus I guess, she does all the cooking, she's a great cook and baker, when it comes to food I dont do anything. She won't even let me put the shopping away because she's fucking OCD about where stuff goes. Eventually as you get older the saying a way to a man's heart is through his stomach becomes more true or at least the way to keep the heart once the initial fuck phase hits normality.

 

Don't rely on her too much, there might come a time when you need to do all that shit yourself. I remember my nan waiting on my grandad hand and foot, he couldn't even make toast by the time he was 70 odd.

 

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44 minutes ago, Elite said:

Don't rely on her too much, there might come a time when you need to do all that shit yourself. I remember my nan waiting on my grandad hand and foot, he couldn't even make toast by the time he was 70 odd.

 

I can do it. Things I cant can easily be learnt in today's world of information.

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5 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

I can do it. Things I cant can easily be learnt in today's world of information.

I bet you pass Aunt Bessie’s roasties off as your own, you bastard.

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