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Rate the last film you watched...

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2 Guns. Nothing original, but Denzel and Wahlberg are effortlessly cool, the script is very witty, and Paula Patton and her glorious chebs are just a joy to behold. Plus there's fuckloads of explosions and shit. 8/10.

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And based on a true story which is every bit as uncomfortable - especially as the store video was on the internet which showed some pretty horrific stuff like the girl being made to strip.

 

That video was horrific. I know, because I sat through it hundreds of times. Hundreds.

 

Things I do for mankind.

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This gen did happen. My best mate Terry was there with me, but he's no longer with us. I came back from college one day and mum said she didn't know where he was, but I know she chucked him out.

 

Out of genuine interest, is it not feasible that Terry may have been the one doing it?

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When you say Terry is no longer with us does that mean he is dead as well. Has the miserable bastard not come back from the dead yet and made scary noises at you.

 

Oblivion. Whilst Tom Cruise in undoubtedly a complete spanner I have to say he is a charismatic if one dimensional actor and I do enjoy some of his films. Oblivion is OK. Visually stunning if nothing massively different. Bit Moon-ish.

Olga is stunningly beautiful which gives it an extra point and overall not a bad film.

6.95/10

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The Return of the King - 10 severed Gondorian heads out of ten.

 

A near-perfect finale to an epic, peerless trilogy of films. People can gripe about the multiple endings and the rather rushed demise of Saruman or other perceived omissions/changes to the text but for me I don't think anybody could have presented such a massive series of books better than Jackson.

 

This was a war film in every sense. In fact, the entire story is about a world plunged into an all-consuming, utterly destructive war. Breathtaking visuals, superbly acted, riveting story and so gripping. I get goosebumps every time the Rohirrum appear on the horizon to rescue Minas Tirith.

 

Love it. Could watch it over and over. The battle of Pelannor Fields is fucking awesome.

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Cowboys and Aliens. Not really sure what to make of that one. I like Westerns, I like Science Fiction, and I thought Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford were quite good in it.

 

And yet it was all rather silly. If it was supposed to be a comedy then it wasn't quite funny, and if it was supposed to be a serious film then someone had been smoking a lot of DMT.

 

Overall I think I must have liked it, but I have a nagging feeling that it was shite.

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Cowboys and Aliens. Not really sure what to make of that one. I like Westerns, I like Science Fiction, and I thought Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford were quite good in it.

 

And yet it was all rather silly. If it was supposed to be a comedy then it wasn't quite funny, and if it was supposed to be a serious film then someone had been smoking a lot of DMT.

 

Overall I think I must have liked it, but I have a nagging feeling that it was shite.

 

Exactly Zig. Could have been great.

 

Broken City. Mmmmm.

Wahlberg is, I think a fine actor, as is Crowe. Both played their parts well and I enjoyed it. Nothing remarkable however and easily forgettable. I cannot believe some writer gets paid millions to come up with these predictable and uninspiring film ideas.

6/10

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Cargo - German SciFi, enjoyed it. nothing really ground breaking but enjoyable nontheless. 7.89 DEMs out 10. (Get it?)

 

The Day - Black and white zombie flick. Looks beautiful and the plot has a nice tempo to it. 8 Grrrrrrstttzzzzzzzs out of 10

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Watching Samsara. Weird, non-verbal, non-narrative, epic documentary. Really beautiful imagery. Shorter and more vibrant than Koyannisqatsi and it's ilk (which I also enjoyed when I saw it). Although shots of meat production might be upsetting to some.

 

Worth a look if you can't make up your mind on Netflix. I'd give it 10/10 for what it is, obviously not fair to compare to most narrative film.

 

Worth seeing for the prison dance alone. Awesome scene. AWESOME.

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The Game - Wow, reallly engrossing and enjoyable. Great concept and executed briliantly. Michael Douglas was very good. 8/10.

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The Arrival of Mr. Wang

 

Iti horror / sci-fi film. Total and utter garbage.

 

1 / 10 for the name alone.

 

Could have told you that would be shit. From the title. I can just tell. Quite prescient about that sort of thing, me.

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Killing Season.

The fact that this is DeNiro and Travolta makes it even shitter. What a waste. Travolta's voice makes me want to hit someone. Such a shame these two get to star together in such a turd film.

3/10

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Lovelace - 7/10 - good film but I thought it was a bit short, it's only on for an hour 20 minutes yet jumps 12 years so surly that could have been longer. (The bird made me go but I did enjoy it)

 

Mortal Instruments - 3/10 - garbage, the acting is laughable and the story is terrible.

 

Pain and Gain - 8/10 - loved it, thought it was hilarious. The 3 mains were awesome; I'm not a Bay hater and really enjoy his Transformer's films. It’s mental that it’s a true story, it must be so exaggerated??

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