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Rate the last film you watched...

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Signs. 4/10

 

Here's a question; You're an alien, right? You're allergic or whatever to water, right? Why the fuck would you come to a planet with so much water covering the surface? I'd imagine they're relatively intelligent having travelled for however many years to get here, so is M. Night Shyalaman just a fucking fugazi?

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They didn't know they were allergic to water. Sheesh, read 'the official guide to the films of M.Night Superman' for all the bits you don't understand in his films. It's 8,991 pages long and it contradicts itself but it's essential for picking apart his films.

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They didn't know they were allergic to water. Sheesh, read 'the official guide to the films of M.Night Superman' for all the bits you don't understand in his films. It's 8,991 pages long and it contradicts itself but it's essential for picking apart his films.

 

I'd rather just use my noggin to pick 'em apart.

 

For example, watch me pick apart 'The Village' ahem, fucking awful.

 

All done.

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For the next entry: Lady In The Water.

 

Just because you tell your kids a story about some ginner coming out of Paul Giammati's pool it doesn't mean we'll like it. You're a pretentious fool and I hope you end up where your career belongs: In the fucking gutter.

 

 

 

 

If you liked this book, you may also want to read: Ted's guide to knob head telly chefs and Ted's theories on the most inhumane way to put down Paris Hilton. Both published by Puffin.

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Put me down for a copy of each. Seriously.

 

They'll be sent out with Duncan Oldham's book very shortly.

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Oh... I wanted it sometime before the end of this century.

 

Fair enough, I just assumed you'd ticked the 'Group my items in as few packages as possible' option. My bad, delivery option changed.

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Knocked Up - 9 out of 10. Very funny and also romantic, but in a good way without any schmaltz. Not sure if it'll bear repeat viewing, but it was ace the first time round.

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I liked it, but 9/10?

 

9/10 suggests a classic.

 

Yeah, twas alright.

 

No Country For Old Men - 7/10

Javier Bardem ace, some fantastic cinematography, should have developed Tommy Lee Jones character a bit more.

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I liked it, but 9/10?

 

9/10 suggests a classic.

 

I thought it was ace. However, like I said, I'm not sure how it'll fare after repeat viewings. Part of my enthusiasm may have been down to getting carried away by an oasis amidst the desert that the great romantic comedy these days.

 

Having said that, a classic is 10/10, for me.

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I thought it was ace. However, like I said, I'm not sure how it'll fare after repeat viewings. Part of my enthusiasm may have been down to getting carried away by an oasis amidst the desert that the great romantic comedy these days.

 

Having said that, a classic is 10/10, for me.

 

I thoroughly enjoyed it and would also be close to giving it a 9. It's very grounded and relatable, whilst at the same time being hysterically funny in parts.

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