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moxter

Seagulls

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Hate em.

 

Specially in nesting season, which seems to be about 364 days of the year. You're walking along minding your own business when this bloody great white thing like a fucking albatross comes swooping out of the sky, attempting to take a chunk out of the top of your head. If you viciously lash out at it, old Mrs Baxter leans out of her window and bemoans the youth of today at the top of her voice. Your other option is to duck down and tear away down the street shrieking for help.

 

Nasty brutes. They're not even interesting. Does anyone know of any special poison? (I only found out the other day that you can poison a dog by giving it chocolate, for example. Wish I'd known that when my right arm was having a fight with a german shepherd throgh a letterbox a couple of years back)

 

On a happier bird note, where I am (in the big smoke) there are hundreds of parrots living outside my flat, which is kinda cool. They do make one hell of a racket though.

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Fucking shitehawks, loads of the bastards round here.

 

One robbed my mates sausage last week as he walked out of the chippy. They rip the bin bags open and spread shite all over the street down here.

 

Noisy slags too, they used to wake me up in my old house every morning, Vermin, they shit all over your car, but nopt a bit it looks like someone has poured a 5 gallon tin of dulux over your sunroof and bonnot. God knows how they are protected. I moved closer to the seafront and I have less by me now, bizzare how that works.

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I was with the kids in St Ives one day and my eldest was about 6. He had an ice cream, and was walking along with it when one flew down and grabbed the whole ice cream and flew off with it in its beak. I'll never forget the look on Ben's face. Shock, then disbelief, followed by anger and tears. Being the caring Mother I am, I pissed myself laughing.

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Someone once said to me that bicarb of soda inside some rolled-up bread will cause pigeons to explode if they eat it.

 

I think that is seagulls, my brother said hes see it done on when he worked the rigs. I reckon it a bit of an urban myth.

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Y'see even Paul dislikes them but I bet Paul likes Pandas.

 

Who doesn't like Pandas? What's not to like?

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Who doesn't like Pandas? What's not to like?

 

Exactly. They're rare and everyone loves them. Pigeons are in copious supply and everyone hates their guts. It's fact.

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Exactly. They're rare and everyone loves them. Pigeons are in copious supply and everyone hates their guts. It's fact.
I feel puppy dogs are the exception to this rule?

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I hate pigeons with the scragged up feet, you know the ones with the toes that cross over each other. I suppose it's allowing a bit of hatred for deformed creatures out in a relatively gentle way.

 

Carrier pigeons, on the other hand, are the epitome of cool.

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Are the seagulls in Town getting worse? I keep hearing about people with takeaway food getting dive-bombed. The technique is not to swoop for the food, but to slap them around the head, then eat the food that they've dropped in shock. 

 

It's a proper scally bastard's trick.

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Just now, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Are the seagulls in Town getting worse? I keep hearing about people with takeaway food getting dive-bombed. The technique is not to swoop for the food, but to slap them around the head, then eat the food that they've dropped in shock. 

 

It's a proper scally bastard's trick.

Absolute bastards mate. Purposely shit on people, rob food, snarl everyone they're a fucking menace. That stretch of Church St through Lord St near the maccies is like Pearl Harbour at lunch times. 

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The two closely related species you're likely to encounter in the city centre, herring gulls and lesser black-backed gulls, are both declining in numbers in this country. One of the reasons for that is over-fishing. We've been stealing their food so it's not a surprise that they would be forced to resort to stealing ours.

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4 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Horrible bastards.

 

 

What the fuck is in their stomachs to digest that. I wanted to see it try and fly away 

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On 09/11/2007 at 14:27, RJ Fan club said:

 

I think that is seagulls, my brother said hes see it done on when he worked the rigs. I reckon it a bit of an urban myth.

Mix bicarb with flour and sugar and you can kill off most vermin because the gas builds up and does them in. 

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For legal reasons, we should point out that all gull species in the UK are protected under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981, and anyone killing or attempting to kill them is committing an offence.

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