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Prostitutes - have you used their services?  

160 members have voted

  1. 1. Prostitutes - have you used their services?

    • Yes
      37
    • No
      117
    • No, but I intend to.
      14


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thats it exactly, bastards.

 

actually the place was so busy, plenty of people coming and going,anything that like they probably couldnt do intentionally, just goes by the luck of when you turn up.

 

still put me off, probably would do one again if it where a high class sort of thing, or on a stag do or something, Ive seen lads spend more than that in strippers and I wouldnt bother me arse with that, too tight to pay now and definatley wouldnt do any off the street.

it was when I never had a bird aswel so its on your mind more.

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Not been and not planning on any trips as a) im not single and b) if I was I dont think I would have the bottle. I have nothing against so long as both parties are willing though.

 

When I was 18/19 one of my mates invited me on a night out with a couple of his other mates i'd never met before. So the four of us head into town where we all got a little wasted. On the drive home the driver, who i'd known for around 5 hours turns to us and says "im dying to get a blowjob, do you guys mind if we make a detour?"

 

Thinking he was joking me and my mate said do what you got to do, he then spent about 30 mins driving up and down some of the shadiest sides of town until he saw a bird and asked her how much for a BJ. She didnt even bat an eyelid to getting into a car with 4 lads and going to a park while she and the driver went behind some trees to do the deed. She then gets back in the car as the driver offered her a lift back to home.

 

It then gets a bit surreal as my mate (not the "punter) opens up with a little small talk like he isnt talking to a girl that has just sucked his mate off for money. Turns out she'd been doing it on and off for 2 years and is now training to be a primary school teacher... what the actual fuck? Can you imagine being in her class as a kid "Miss, what did you do before you were a teacher?" "well Sam, I used to suck dick for £20 a pop, but look at me now"

 

To be fair she seemed like she had her head screwed on in the brief time we spoke to her but it was a weird night when you are young and niaive like I was back then.

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Most people who say they'd never go with a prostitute give the similar reasons as those that say they would never do drugs, when the reality is that they actually don't have the bottle to give it a go.

 

I've never had any need to go to a brass, but i've taken a shitload of drugs, if this helps.

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I dont think of anybody who goes to a prozzy any less than the rest of the male population but saying those of us who wont go to one because we havent got the bottle is a bit stupid.

 

Yes its cheaper and less complicated but with less chance of catching HIV,Gonnoreah,Chlamydia etc its quite a simple choice.

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It then gets a bit surreal as my mate (not the "punter) opens up with a little small talk like he isnt talking to a girl that has just sucked his mate off for money. Turns out she'd been doing it on and off for 2 years and is now training to be a primary school teacher... what the actual fuck? Can you imagine being in her class as a kid "Miss, what did you do before you were a teacher?" "well Sam, I used to suck dick for £20 a pop, but look at me now"

.

Wasn't the Diary of a Call Girl author something similar?

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Guest davelfc

I might start to use the money that I would have spent on petrol on prostitutes instead.

 

At least the ride will last longer

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One of my mates went to a knocking shop after a few drinks and realised that his cousin was working there.

 

My 'friend' on a night out got separated from the group. Being as pissed as the Pope in a Durex factory decided to walk home, a good ten miles! Anywho's he walks down a alley to be confronted with two scallies demanding his worldly goods. Weighing up the situation he decided to attack, the scrotes took umbridge at this and decided to strip him of his clothes, leaving him with just his jeans.

 

Beaten and disorientated by the attack he sought refuge in the first light he found, you guessed it a brothel. Having his phone stolen the hostess, after hearing this poor welks tale, kindly agreed to let him use the phone. The only number he could remember off the top of his head was his girlfriends! The hostess didn't want this poor unfortunate to suffer any more and said he could wait in the foyer.

 

His girlfriend picked him up from the address he gave.......

 

Took him fucking weeks to convince her it was all innocent.

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My 'friend' on a night out got separated from the group. Being as pissed as the Pope in a Durex factory decided to walk home, a good ten miles! Anywho's he walks down a alley to be confronted with two scallies demanding his worldly goods. Weighing up the situation he decided to attack, the scrotes took umbridge at this and decided to strip him of his clothes, leaving him with just his jeans.

 

Beaten and disorientated by the attack he sought refuge in the first light he found, you guessed it a brothel. Having his phone stolen the hostess, after hearing this poor welks tale, kindly agreed to let him use the phone. The only number he could remember off the top of his head was his girlfriends! The hostess didn't want this poor unfortunate to suffer any more and said he could wait in the foyer.

 

His girlfriend picked him up from the address he gave.......

 

Took him fucking weeks to convince her it was all innocent.

 

Now that is one fucking crazy funny story.

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To continue chickenlickens vice stories, I was in the X in the City by lime street on friday and christ, for only £10 entry sdome of the fanny there was bang tidy it almost made me straight. Most of them were very friendly and i bet you could take them to the candyshop (your penis) for about £40

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To continue chickenlickens vice stories, I was in the X in the City by lime street on friday and christ, for only £10 entry sdome of the fanny there was bang tidy it almost made me straight. Most of them were very friendly and i bet you could take them to the candyshop (your penis) for about £40

 

A couple of my mate's once had the pleasure of two of those ladies staying in the Aldephi with them. 150 pound each to stay all night, much fun had by all, well the lads anyhow.

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This is my only experience of a prossie.

 

Was out in Manchester a month or so ago on a night out after a gig with the band. Me and the bassist split off from the group at about 3am to try and locate a lock in where all the barstaff in Manchester head to after all the clubs shut and the others were calling it a night.

 

Anyway, he was on the phone to a girl in said bar getting directions and I was on the street having a fag when a girl (who was quite fit to be fair, dressed up quite classy also) comes over and starts feeling me up, proposing me for a sucktreat for £20 and that she'd 'love' to go down the alleyway behind me.

 

Now one thing, I would never cheat on mrs Juniper simply as I'm not a twat and shes a godess, the second is that even if I was single I wouldn't consider it as it doesnt float my boat at all.

 

Being the polite gentleman I am I kept on having to repeat myself for about a minute that I wasn't interested, that I had an other half and it wasn't going to happen, she eventually let go and took off to a group of men a hundred yards or so away from me to ply her trade.

 

.....Eventually got to the lock in to find she'd stolen all the money in one of my jean pockets.

 

(got bought drinks the rest of the morning by random punters after my mate spread the story around, so it worked out ok)

 

Was an ace night out to be fair.

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i got seedy before and rang one up from an escort site.Fucking gorgeous she was in the picture,blonde hair,long legs fuck.yeah.

Drove halfway across dublin to give this slut a good hammering,and then got there,knocked at the door and what was before me.

romanian.

still gave her one all the same.

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i got seedy before and rang one up from an escort site.Fucking gorgeous she was in the picture,blonde hair,long legs fuck.yeah.

Drove halfway across dublin to give this slut a good hammering,and then got there,knocked at the door and what was before me.

romanian.

still gave her one all the same.

 

Roma victor!

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A lad I used to knock about with years ago once got home after a night in town and rang an Escort. "A brunette with big tits please" was what he asked for, and duly got.

 

Anyway, when she arrived he realised he didn't have any money - she was after £100 - so, he wrote out two of his Dad's cheques for £50 each (as per the cheque guarantee card he found with his Dad's cheque book)

 

Anyway. He did what had to be done and the next day awoke with the stark realisation of what he had done and had to call the agency the next night to get in touch with the girl and ask her nicely not to not cash the cheques.

 

The only way she'd agree to return the cheques was for another hundred quid. Which he gratefully accepted.

 

Moral of the story - don't use your Dad's cheque book to pay for whores.

Not that you would, of course, as you're not a massive idiot like my old mate.

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To continue chickenlickens vice stories, I was in the X in the City by lime street on friday and christ, for only £10 entry sdome of the fanny there was bang tidy it almost made me straight. Most of them were very friendly and i bet you could take them to the candyshop (your penis) for about £40

 

Or a £10 bag of charlie.

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Guest davelfc

Many years ago when I was serving in Germany a few of us ended up in Asbach, well we wandered into this brothel and it was the done thing at the time to take part.

 

Before I wandered off with my young lady she encouraged me to take something from this barrel on the bar, thinking it was a condom I obliged (this was before shithouse aids) and discovered I had picked up a raffle ticket.

 

Well it not only turned out I'd won, it paid for drinks and the taxi back to camp.

 

So no, I've not paid for sex, I won it.

 

We also used to frequent a seedy little joint in the town of Elmpt. We got to chat to the whores and free drinks and in return if any servicemen got rowdy we would ensure they were removed quickly and taken back to camp. This was preferable to the bouncers coming down and kicking the crap out of them. They obviously made a lot of cash from the base and didn't want trouble.

 

One of our new coppers (surname 'Staincliffe') looked the spit of Karl Pilkington (although obviously this was the 80's so unless he's changed his name)

 

Anyway he came with us one night and wanted a go with one of the girls, he negotiated £36 (not sure what the mark exchange rate was but I remember £36). He goes into the room and comes out a few minutes later screaming blue murder. There was uproar as the bouncers appeared and then he told us his tale.

 

She had undone his pants and before she had got much further and in all the excitement he had, come. Well house rules was, you come you go. So for the slightest fondle he had been screwed only for his cash.

 

He never lived down.

 

(Almost forgot, the prozzie in Asbach, total shit as was I am told were most of the German whores.)

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I've never seen the point in prostitutes unless they're very fit. I've seen some in Amsterdam and other European places who I wouldn't fuck if they were paying me.

 

I do think it's a perfectly valid rite of passage, though.

 

So let's see: two of them were in East London (both Thai and fit). Both at the same venue when I was a junior advertising type being taken out by media owners with expense accounts.

 

One was in Berlin, although that didn't really get very far because I was off my tits.

 

And one in Bali. She may have been Balinese. Picked her up in the Sari nightclub with a mate. She may well be dead because she was in there every night and the Muzzies blew the place up a few weeks after I left.

 

And one I was "forced" into in Amsterdam, but I wasn't really feeling it, so I sat there and chatted for 10 minutes then left.

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The grand problem with fit prostitutes is that if she is the hottest bird in the establishment she works at, it means that she has probably been stuffed by more hot dogs than Meatloaf himself.

 

The trick to fucking a shitehouseaids gal while she at least looks clean is to arrive to the establishment early, right after it opens and to go on a Friday that is not the 1st, 15th, or 31st. Reason to this is that these are days we get paid and these institutions of whores are filled with hungry lonely men with money to spend on these special days.

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I woke up,made a coffee and seen the tottenham thread.(i'll post this here due to relevance)

Read it from start to finish,and i just want to say one thing.

What's wrong with prostitutes?? Why you trying to beat SL up over hookers jon??

Oldest trade in the world they say'

if he wants to bang hookers every day thats his buisness.

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