Prostitues & Prostitution

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

Too right, some of them cost a fortune to keep roadworthy and there is the endless wittering that you have to listen to.

As much as I admire Peter Sutcliffe's work, I feel he was targeting the wrong group of women. Hoity toity middle class whining fucktards would have been much more acceptable.

 

Yep, the old hammer and screwdriver double act was too good for the likes of her. Everybody who is famous for simply being famous and therefore treats their clunge like the Kohinoor diamond should be attacked with a hammer at least once in their lives.

 

I miss Paddy's posts.

 

Just to add If I fell on hard times Id have no problem getting my Dinner suit on and going down the Marbella club and sleeping with some 60 year old woman to get a few quid.

 

Would I want to keep my nice Villa, of course I would and if it meant going down on a bit of grey minge to keep it, I certainly would.

 

Hilarious quotes from Nick on this thread.

[Unrighteous]

I should have done the amount of grief I got.

 

Regrets... I have a few...

[VladimirIlyich]

With a prostitute your paying once,with a missus you're paying for the rest of your life!

[AL66GOLF]

Which is cheaper

Sex for money or sex for free?

 

I'm married for 17 years and think that sex for money is definitely cheaper

[Pony Princess]

I fucking love prostitutes. I just can't comprehend having a relationship with a woman in order to get my cock wet every now and then. Having to talk to them, buy them dinner, comfort them, spend money on them, fuck that shit.

 

Prostitutes are a wonderful thing and cheaper in the longrun. I'd encourage anyone who hasn't employed the services of a prostitute to do so before judging.

[Guest Jon Snow]

If you're not man enough to pull a woman on you're own then you shouldn't be allowed to pay for it.

 

This

[Elmyn Noos]

Most people who say they'd never go with a prostitute give the similar reasons as those that say they would never do drugs, when the reality is that they actually don't have the bottle to give it a go.

[Liverpool lad]

Each to their own, I don't think I could pay for full sex so I would probably just settle for a wank off one

[Guest davelfc]

Each to their own, I don't think I could pay for full sex so I would probably just settle for a wank off one

 

We've all paid for sex in one way or another.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I've never had the need.

 

In times of need I just consult my little fat book and give one of the armies of chubsters who've ridden the Dangerously Express (last stop Pleasure town TOOT TOOT) a repeat ticket

[Pony Princess]

Weird thing about hookers is that loads of them have tidy fannies. The last one I was with had a fanny like a 10p slot and an arsehole like a twitching squirrels nose. Not sure how they do it, is there such thing as corrective surgery for a minge that has been written off by a thousand cocks?

[redsoxs]

Most people who say they'd never go with a prostitute give the similar reasons as those that say they would never do drugs, when the reality is that they actually don't have the bottle to give it a go.

 

Their are things in life which i know i wouldn't do.... which as nothing to with bottle, would you have sex with a man? by saying no, would that mean you bottled it?

[dirk grout]

Weird thing about hookers is that loads of them have tidy fannies. The last one I was with had a fanny like a 10p slot and an arsehole like a twitching squirrels nose. Not sure how they do it, is there such thing as corrective surgery for a minge that has been written off by a thousand cocks?

 

I reckon you have a small penis. Like most people that sleep with prostitutes.

[piscinin]

I reckon you have a small penis. Like most people that sleep with prostitutes.

 

Why do people constantly confuse their own reasons for doing something with everyone else's?

[dirk grout]

Why do people constantly confuse their own reasons for doing something with everyone else's?

 

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

[piscinin]

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

 

There was a better ding there, but, hey ho ;)

[Horus]

I've done it, although I was sort of railroaded into it. I was in Amsterdam for my 18th birthday and the lads all chipped in. I didn't really want to do it, and the walk up to the window was the worst thing I've ever done, but once I was in there, and it was going to happen, I thought fuck it, lets get it done. I had a great time.

 

I've never done it since and I can't see myself ever doing it again, but for one night, I was a giant amongst men.

 

I went back there later that year and my mate wanted to do the deed, but we'd got into some fights with Moroccan drug dealers because we didn't want to buy weed on the streets, when there were perfectly good coffee shops, so when he went into the little fuck room, I didn't want to hang around on the streets, so I fucked off back to the hotel fairly sharpish, to have a wank before my mate got back. I was just getting into it, thinking I had a bit of time, and my mate came back in as I had my cock in my hand watching "art films" He must have jizzed as he walked into the room and turned back out again like the simpsons grandpa.

[Guest Jon Snow]

Weird thing about hookers is that loads of them have tidy fannies. The last one I was with had a fanny like a 10p slot and an arsehole like a twitching squirrels nose. Not sure how they do it, is there such thing as corrective surgery for a minge that has been written off by a thousand cocks?

 

Yep its called a sex change.

[Bubble]

I used to live with a prostitute. Well, when I say "lived with" I mean I lived there and she used the house to, er, service her clients. In the bedroom immediately above mine, which was kind of uncomfortable.

 

When she moved in, she told us she wouldn't be about much because she worked nights and she tended to spend her days with her sick friend. At first we joked that she must be on the game but after she had brought a couple of blokes back it became clear that was what was going on. Of course, she never explained what she was up to and had to keep coming up with increasingly more ridiculous explanations for why she was bringing another stranger up to her room.

 

She always kept her bedroom locked but the locks on all the rooms were identical so I let myself in one day when she wasn't about. It was completely empty except for a table lamp and a dirty white sheet on the bed. I decided to have a look in the wardrobe to see if she had anything in there. On opening the top drawer I was greeted with the sight of about 20 - 30 used condoms.

 

I called the landlord to tell him and he started to freak out, not least because, in his words, "she's a good rent payer." He didn't want us to tell anyone, or let her know that we knew, in case she was connected to paramilitaries. I suggested he tell her he was getting the house renovated and she had to move out, and he agreed this was a good idea.

 

The next day, he sent me a text saying he was getting the house renovated and I had to move out. When I called him he denied all knowledge of our previous conversation. I started to get a bit pissed off (as you do) so he said "I have to go, I'm hugging my dog" and hung up. As you might have gathered, he was a bit of a strange man. He also refused to give me my security deposit back. Still, it was all worth it when I was moving out to see the look on his face when he opened that top drawer of her wardrobe.

 

Oh, and before you ask, no I didn't. She looked like a skag addict, and not in a heroin chic way, she had more of a "stab you with a rusty screwdriver for the loose change in your pocket" kind of vibe. In fact, thinking about it, she had a bit of an Amy Winehouse on a bad day look about her. Consequently, I won't be partaking in any hookers any time soon.

[Sugar Ape]

If you're not man enough to pull a woman on you're own then you shouldn't be allowed to pay for it.

 

This

 

Mary Whitehouse over here.

 

Never done it myself, and now that I'm married doubt I ever will. Nothing wrong with it however, each to their own. I find it less offensive that someone has paid a decent looking bird for sex, than someone pulling a massive fat slag for nothing when the ugly lights go on in the Rubber Soul.

[Carvalho Diablo]

In fact in london there are professional women who basically act as your partner for sex and businesss functions on 60k a year non exclusive and 120k a year exclusive, now if your rich thats got to be a lot cheaper and lot more fun than being married and you dont get shit to boot.

 

So I hear mate, so I hear...

 

London escorts at elite London escort agency of Bentleys International

 

Start saving.

[Mike D]

I have twice and dont think I ever would again.

 

was not long after I started as a taxi driver and learning everywhere.

 

they would put messages up on the radio saying things like if you get anyone wanting to go to the knocking shop take them to such n such and you'll get 20 quid back off them for each person, basically if you take a car of 4 blokes theres 80 quid.

 

had a few people go, and started to get a bit more inqusitive.

 

one night I had a gang of 4 Ev****nians who wernt actually from Liverpool but would come up for the match, in there 50s, all married, and said that every time they come up they watch the game,theyd go for a drink in town then all go the knocking shop.

"one fella said when Ev**ton play at home we play away"

 

so I had that in my mind all night and then finally said fuck it, Im going to see what this is all about, Id had a good night paywise and knew itd be 80 quid.

 

worked for a bit and then went, bit of an adrenaline buzz coz ive never done anything like that.

 

anyway went there, went in, saw the fella, sat down in the reception , he said 2 girls will be out in a minute pick which one, only one girl came out and fuck me was she stunning,young, everything, amazing.

she said sorry Im the only one available at the minute, I thought thats fine.

 

took me to the room, said its 80 quid for the sex an any more for extras such as kissing, thought 80 quids enough, made a cunt out of myself here because I forgot that I usually go home when Ive got a wedge in my back pocket and get change as I dont like having a lot of cash on me in case it gets robbed, id forgotten Id went home and only had about 40 quid in notes, had to pay her the rest in pound coins out of me holder! ha

 

I wasnt that embarressed, well anyway sex was amazing, couldnt last, bouncing like fuck on it, ticklin the arl ball sack while bangin her, she knew everything, all birds Id ever been with was boring ordinary sex.

 

then all week I couldnt forget about it, Im going there again I was thinking, Im going to be addicted to the place.

 

well I went back about a week later, same senario, only this time I paid the fella first before seeing the girls, go in the room, they come out, ones a fucking 60 year old arl biffer, the other was in her 20s, short fat meff.

barely had a chance to glance at them and one of them said in the scalliest voice "hurry up an pick will yaaaa"

 

I thought oh fuckin hell, picked the young one, at least she'll know what to do,

 

she was horrible, sweaty, she even got up half way through and said Im going the bog,

 

I got off, and drove home fast and jumped straight in the shower, horrible feeling Ive never had, and never doing anything like it again.

 

Ive since took plenty more people and picked up ordinary girls and women from houses when they go to work there, and picked them up of a night and take them home.

 

Im glad I went to see and seen whats its like rather than just imagining, but never doing it again.

Edited July 29, 2011 by Mike D

[Jennings]

I have twice and dont think I ever would again.

 

was not long after I started as a taxi driver and learning everywhere.

 

they would put messages up on the radio saying things like if you get anyone wanting to go to the knocking shop take them to such n such and you'll get 20 quid back off them for each person, basically if you take a car of 4 blokes theres 80 quid.

 

had a few people go, and started to get a bit more inqusitive.

 

one night I had a gang of 4 Ev****nians who wernt actually from Liverpool but would come up for the match, in there 50s, all married, and said that every time they come up they watch the game,theyd go for a drink in town then all go the knocking shop.

"one fella said when Ev**ton play at home we play away"

 

so I had that in my mind all night and then finally said fuck it, Im going to see what this is all about, Id had a good night paywise and knew itd be 80 quid.

 

worked for a bit and then went, bit of an adrenaline buzz coz ive never done anything like that.

 

anyway went there, went in, saw the fella, sat down in the reception , he said 2 girls will be out in a minute pick which one, only one girl came out and fuck me was she stunning,young, everything, amazing.

she said sorry Im the only one available at the minute, I thought thats fine.

 

took me to the room, said its 80 quid for the sex an any more for extras such as kissing, thought 80 quids enough, made a cunt out of myself here because I forgot that I usually go home when Ive got a wedge in my back pocket and get change as I dont like having a lot of cash on me in case it gets robbed, id forgotten Id went home and only had about 40 quid in notes, had to pay her the rest in pound coins out of me holder! ha

 

I wasnt that embarressed, well anyway sex was amazing, couldnt last, bouncing like fuck on it, ticklin the arl ball sack while bangin her, she knew everything, all birds Id ever been with was boring ordinary sex.

 

then all week I couldnt forget about it, Im going there again I was thinking, Im going to be addicted to the place.

 

well I went back about a week later, same senario, only this time I paid the fella first before seeing the girls, go in the room, they come out, ones a fucking 60 year old arl biffer, the other was in her 20s, short fat meff.

barely had a chance to glance at them and one of them said in the scalliest voice "hurry up an pick will yaaaa"

 

I thought oh fuckin hell, picked the young one, at least she'll know what to do,

 

she was horrible, sweaty, she even got up half way through and said Im going the bog,

 

I got off, and drove home fast and jumped straight in the shower, horrible feeling Ive never had, and never doing anything like it again.

 

Ive since took plenty more people and picked up ordinary girls and women from houses when they go to work there, and picked them up of a night and take them home.

 

Im glad I went to see and seen whats its like rather than just imagining, but never doing it again.

 

Great story. Weird that it was so different second time.

[Mike D]

yeah

 

forgot to mention, the first time, when I went to sit in the reception, the fella had his 10 year old lad just sittin there watchin the tv and told him to go in the small room where he and some other meat head were sittin watchin the cctv screens

[VladimirIlyich]

They got you in with a fit bird and knew you'd come back again.

 

Then they give you the slappers.