Prostitues & Prostitution

[Guest davelfc]

Just don't see how it could be taxed over here.

 

No-one likes taxes, especially single-mums and druggies on benefits, Can't see them signing up for it and would therefore carry on under the radar.

 

Well with government run establishments, correct medical testing, safety and security I think the current underground system would collapse.

 

It would work as any other business that has employees works.

 

I'm not saying I would be visiting one, however there will always be a need and these days it's probably cheaper than a date, you're guaranteed sex and you don't have to listen to hours of trivial shit first.

 

Hang on, I think I've just talked myself into it.

[brucespanner]

Slightly off topic, but in a round about kind of way.

 

A conversation which me and a friend used to expend far too much mental energy on was 'How do you broach the subject of your Mrs taking a shit on your chest'? Not that either of us were, well I wasn't at least, interested in doing it, but how do you instigate such a thing..

 

'Pasta for tea tonight dear'

 

'Wonderful'

 

'Did you have a good day, is that Julie still pissing you off?'

 

'Yeah, it was alright. Julie's a cunt, but what can you do? Anyhow's would you shit on my chest later?'

 

'She sounds like such a cow, you should say something to somebody, er, yeah that sounds alright, we'll have to put the Visqueen down though, my stools are a little loose at the minute'

 

'Cool, I'll sort that after tea. Might have a word with Brian about Julie, she's becoming such a bitch'

 

Is this how it happens?????

 

It's always confused me, it just seems so wrong!

[Champ]

Slightly off topic, but in a round about kind of way.

 

A conversation which me and a friend used to expend far too much mental energy on was 'How do you broach the subject of your Mrs taking a shit on your chest'? Not that either of us were, well I wasn't at least, interested in doing it, but how do you instigate such a thing..

 

'Pasta for tea tonight dear'

 

'Wonderful'

 

'Did you have a good day, is that Julie still pissing you off?'

 

'Yeah, it was alright. Julie's a cunt, but what can you do? Anyhow's would you shit on my chest later?'

 

'She sounds like such a cow, you should say something to somebody, er, yeah that sounds alright, we'll have to put the Visqueen down though, my stools are a little loose at the minute'

 

'Cool, I'll sort that after tea. Might have a word with Brian about Julie, she's becoming such a bitch'

 

Is this how it happens?????

 

It's always confused me, it just seems so wrong!

 

I thought you were the king of 'wrong'

[Liverpool lad]

Google Antwerp and their RLD, works well

[brucespanner]

I thought you were the king of 'wrong'

 

There's being free and easy with your sexuality, a finger here, a strap-on there, but someone taking a shite on your chest, FOR FUCKING PLEASURE, is a step to far even for this intrepid explorer!

[Liverpool lad]

 

There's being free and easy with your sexuality' date=' a finger here, a strap-on there, but someone taking a shite on your chest, FOR FUCKING PLEASURE, is a step to far even for this intrepid explorer![/quote']

 

One of Mrs Ll's friends has been pissed on by her fella,

 

Now my main concern is how you approach splashing piss all over your missus, do you get her in the bath then let rip all over here just after that awkward moment of waiting to unleash the golden stream. Its the only place to do it really when you think about it. Or do you just piss all over her with no warning and hope she gets caught up in the moment, 'oh that cup of tea has went right through me'?

 

'Can you smell that?'

 

"That's Sugar Puffs right there'

 

 

 

Thinking about it I could probably piss on a prostitute with more ease than Mrs Ll

[brucespanner]

Thinking about it I could probably piss on a prostitute with more ease than Mrs Ll

 

I've done the whole pissing thing, in a shower, at her request, and in truth I understand the humiliation/submission aspect, but imagine pissing on her then going at it, if you didn't do it in the shower, it'd be fucking rank, everything would stink of piss, not for me, in the shower it's cool because you get a blow job straight from it.

 

But shitting, that's what couples do when they've fallen out of love and can't think of anything to reignite their desire, filthy cunts.

[Adebisi]

My ex pissed on me. We broke up before I could return the favour. I wouldn't call myself a dirty man, I don't need really dirty, degrading sex to get off, I just believe in trying new things.

 

Anyway, I'd brought it up to her before and she said "maybe if we were in the shower or bath" which was fair enough, but one night we got very drunk and she was on top and she said she needed a piss. I just told her to piss on me and she obliged. It was hot at first, but it wasn't exactly a little tinkle, it was more like a litre of the stuff. Once it was over and the realisation sunk in that I was drenched in piss and so were the bed sheets, it kinda killed the mood a bit. Deffs one for the bathroom only.

[Captain]

but imagine pissing on her then going at it, if you didn't do it in the shower, it'd be fucking rank, everything would stink of piss, not for me, in the shower it's cool because you get a blow job straight from it.

 

Piss doesn't stink straight away. Just like sweat doesn't.

[brucespanner]

Piss doesn't stink straight away. Just like sweat doesn't.

 

Maybe you're in and out before the stench starts, but I like to make sex last longer than a couple of pumps.

[Captain]

We're not talking pumps, we're talking hours.

 

That said, I'll leave it to the ladies to decide.

[Vincent Vega]

I've done the whole pissing thing, in a shower, at her request, and in truth I understand the humiliation/submission aspect, but imagine pissing on her then going at it, if you didn't do it in the shower, it'd be fucking rank, everything would stink of piss, not for me, in the shower it's cool because you get a blow job straight from it.

 

But shitting, that's what couples do when they've fallen out of love and can't think of anything to reignite their desire, filthy cunts.

 

[YOUTUBE]2mdGQhyr0d8[/YOUTUBE]

[Liverpool lad]

What if you have been eating Sugar Puffs?

[Champ]

Or asparagus?

[Pony Princess]

"That's Sugar Puffs right there'

 

That is uncanny. The other day I was having a piss in the sink (something I am trying to work on. feeling a bit too old to be pissing in the sink) and my piss smelled like sugar puffs. Not had sugar puffs in years.

[VladimirIlyich]

That is uncanny. The other day I was having a piss in the sink (something I am trying to work on. feeling a bit too old to be pissing in the sink) and my piss smelled like sugar puffs. Not had sugar puffs in years.

 

Diabetes?

[Section_31]

Biggest thing that put me off the prostitutes in Amsterdam was the type of fellas you saw coming out the booths. Some Katy Perry lookalike getting porked by an extra from Taken. Not good.

[RedKnight]

Wait, back up. Pissing in the sink? What the hell?

[Adebisi]

What sort of backwards simpleton would piss in a sink?!

 

 

When I first started smoking weed as a teenager I would hang out the window at my parents house. I would take all the necessary measures to make sure they never found out; towels by the door, air-freshener.. that sort of thing. But what would I do when I needed a piss? I'd have to come down from the loft and walk passed their bed to reach the bathroom. Fuck that I thought, too risky. I didn't fancy pissing out the window in my stoned state either, so I'd piss into bottles and stash them in my wardrobe with the intention of emptying them in the morning. Of course 9 times out of 10 I'd forget and before long I had 4 two litre bottles of piss in my wardrobe. I knocked this filthy habit on the head eventually, but those were some truly fucking scruffy times.

 

On topic: I've never actually used a prostitute. Even when in Amsterdam and most of my mates were having a go I got wade into two girls quite easily while staying in a hostel. I was tempted on the last day though, one of them looked cute as fuck and a body like a sixtee.. she had a really great body. The thing that puts me off, other than the money, is the whole "how pleasurable is this actually gonna be" thing. Because I've been with girls in their early 20s who've had wizard's sleeves. I can't imagine a full-time prostitute to be in top condition down there.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Biggest thing that put me off the prostitutes in Amsterdam was the type of fellas you saw coming out the booths. Some Katy Perry lookalike getting porked by an extra from Taken. Not good.

 

Mmm dunno, gonna book my flight in the morning.

[Liverpool lad]

I don't think I could shag one, probably get a wank though if it came down to it

[Carvalho Diablo]

I don't think I could shag one, probably get a wank though if it came down to it

 

Time is money LL, they'd probably tear your banjo clean in two.

[Remmie]

Reading the threads of the GF makes me realise that for all my perverted thoughts, I am relatively vanilla when it comes to wrong bedroom shit.

[Guest ShoePiss]

What sort of backwards simpleton would piss in a sink?!

 

 

When I first started smoking weed as a teenager I would hang out the window at my parents house. I would take all the necessary measures to make sure they never found out; towels by the door, air-freshener.. that sort of thing. But what would I do when I needed a piss? I'd have to come down from the loft and walk passed their bed to reach the bathroom. Fuck that I thought, too risky. I didn't fancy pissing out the window in my stoned state either, so I'd piss into bottles and stash them in my wardrobe with the intention of emptying them in the morning. Of course 9 times out of 10 I'd forget and before long I had 4 two litre bottles of piss in my wardrobe. I knocked this filthy habit on the head eventually, but those were some truly fucking scruffy times.

 

On topic: I've never actually used a prostitute. Even when in Amsterdam and most of my mates were having a go I got wade into two girls quite easily while staying in a hostel. I was tempted on the last day though, one of them looked cute as fuck and a body like a sixtee.. she had a really great body. The thing that puts me off, other than the money, is the whole "how pleasurable is this actually gonna be" thing. Because I've been with girls in their early 20s who've had wizard's sleeves. I can't imagine a full-time prostitute to be in top condition down there.

 

Just watched this yesterday, third time around and still class.

[YOUTUBE]D0u6Lb6RCz4[/YOUTUBE]

[ZonkoVille77]

Why pay for something you can get for free?

More fun trying to pull a lass and seeing how far it goes. Walking into a place and paying for it just seems pointless to me.

 

Never done it when I was young and single, and now I'm married, I certainly never will.