The all new inane lyrics thread

[Remmie]

Had that fucking twat song Mouthwash stuck in my head and was looking for some more inane lyrics. Come on GF, sort my bad self out with some wack lyrics, broseph. Ill. Represent.

[Remmie]

I use mouthwash, sometimes I floss, I have a family, I drink cups of tea.

 

That's the chorus. Really.

[Remmie]

-Wiggy wiggy wiggy, I'm getting jiggy.

 

-I'll show you a house with windows and doors I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

 

-Let's go, Eskimo, I'll fly you to the moon.

 

-I really really really really want a zig-a-zig-ah

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Someone left the cake out in the rain.

I don’t think that I can take it,

cuz it took so long to bake it,

And I’ll never have that recipe again, Oh Nooooooooooo!

 

Hows dat !

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Only Smokey Robinson could get away with this.

 

You got a smile so bright

You know you could have been a candle

I'm holding you so tight

You know you could have been a handle

The way you swept me off my feet

You know you could have been a broom

The way you smell so sweet

You know you could have been some perfume

Well you could have been anything that you want to

And I can tell

The way you do the things you do

 

As pretty as you are

You know you could have been a flower

Your good looks was a minute

You know that you could have been an hour

The way you stole my heart

You know you could have been a cuckoo

And baby you're so smart

You know you could have been a schoolbook

Well you could have been anything that you want to

And I can tell

The way you do the things you do

 

You make my life so rich

You know you should have been some money

Baby you're so sweet

You know you should have been some honey

Well you could have been anything that you want to

And I can tell

The way you do the things you do

[madstock]

Only Smokey Robinson could get away with this.

 

No, although The Temptations did a cracking version of TWYDTTYD, UB40 also got away with it on "Labour of Love II".

 

The single also contained a really funked-up (no spelling mistake there) version, which I last heard walking along the front at Weston.

 

For truly inane lyrics (and another one of my all time favourite tunes from the sadly departed Mr Desmond Dekker)

 

Get up Edina

Get up Edina, a let me tell you now

Get up Edina

Get up Edina, girl

I said to get up Edina

I said to get up Edina, girl

 

I send you a school, you won't learn

I send you a church, you won't hear

I'm gonna send you back to your mama's house

I'm gonna send you back to your papa's house

I'm gonna send you back where you come from

 

I said to go home, go home, Edina

I said to get up Edina, girl

Because you wait up, Edina, girl

I said to get up Edina

Because you wait up, Edina, girl

I said to come out, Edina

Because you wait up, Edina, girl

 

Fanfuckingtastic stuff, mind you.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

No, although The Temptations did a cracking version of TWYDTTYD, UB40 also got away with it on "Labour of Love II".

 

That was the first version I ever heard - and the only time I've been able to name the songwriter straight off.

 

I sometimes do this on the karaoke - because it fucking deserves to be strangled by a slurring drunkard.

 

See the tree, how big it's grown,

but friend, it hasn't been too long it wasn't big.

I laughed at her and she got mad,

the first day that she planted it was just a twig.

Then the first snow came and she ran

out to brush the snow away so it wouldn't die.

Came runnin' in all excited,

slipped and almost hurt herself, I laughed 'til I cried.

She was always young at heart,

kind a dumb and kind a smart and I loved her so.

I surprised her with a puppy,

kept me up all Christmas eve two years ago.

And it would sure embarrass her when

I came home from working late 'cause I would know

that she'd been sittin' there cryin

over some sad and silly late, late show.

And Honey, I miss you and I'm being good.

And I'd love to be with you if only I could.

She wrecked the car and she was sad

and so afraid that I'd be mad but what the heck.

Though I pretended hard to be,

guess you could say she saw through me and hugged my neck.

I came home unexpectedly

and found her crying needlessly in middle of the day.

And it was in the early spring

when flowers bloom and Robins sing, she went away.

And Honey, I miss you and I'm being good.

And I'd love to be with you if only I could.

Yes, one day while I wasn't home,

while she was there and all alone, the angels came.

Now all I have is memories

of Honey, and I wake up nights and call her name.

Now my life's an empty stage

where Honey lived and Honey played and love grew up.

A small cluod passes over head

and cries down in the flower bed that Honey loved.

See the tree, how big it's grown...(fading)

[Remmie]

what were those weird Shakira lyrics, something like my breasts are small and smooth so you don't confuse them with mountains for they are humble? Something weird like that

[Redder Lurtz]

Biffy fucking Clyro's "Stingin Belle":

 

"Grow some balls and speak your mind

You think you're cool like a porcupine"

 

 

and

 

"You make me laugh, I make you cry,

I guess that rhymes"

 

No it fucking doesn't.

 

Dreadful lyrics, dreadful song, dreadful band.

[Fugitive]

Anything that came from the mind of Morrissey.

[Redder Lurtz]

Anything that came from the mind of Morrissey.

 

"Does the mind rule the body?

Does the body rule the mind?

I dunno"

[Fugitive]

"I was looking for a job, and then I found a job "

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Biffy fucking Clyro's "Stingin Belle":

 

"Grow some balls and speak your mind

You think you're cool like a porcupine"

 

 

and

 

"You make me laugh, I make you cry,

I guess that rhymes"

 

No it fucking doesn't.

Dreadful lyrics, dreadful song, dreadful band.

A lot of anguish and pent-up hatred in those four words!

[Mendoza]

Life by Des' Ree

 

Chorus:

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,

doo, doot doot dooo.

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,

doo, doot dooo

 

I'm afraid of the dark,

'specially when I'm in a park

And there's no-one else around,

 

Ooh, I get the shivers

I don't want to see a ghost,

It's a sight that I fear most

I'd rather have a piece of toast

And watch the evening news

(Repeat Chorus)

 

I'm a superstitious girl,

I'm the worst in the world

Never walk under ladders,

I keep a rabbit's tail

 

I'll take you up on a dare,

Anytime, anywhere

Name the place, I'll be there,

Bungee jumping, I don't care!

(Repeat Chorus)

 

life, doo, doot dooo

doo, doot dooo

 

So after all is said and done

I know I'm not the only one

Life indeed can be fun, if you really want to

 

Sometimes living out your dreams,

Ain't as easy as it seems

You wanna fly around the world,

In a beautiful balloon

(Repeat Chorus)

[Bobby Hundreds]

"I was looking for a job, and then I found a job "

 

That's a great great lyric. I was looking for a job and then I found a job heaven knows I'm Miserable now. So true

 

 

Paul young loves his fucking toast.

 

[spoken]

Morning all. I'd like to tell you about when I was a young boy. I must have been three or four months old at the time. I didn't really know what I wanted, and if I did, I wouldn't have been able to tell anybody, 'cos all I could do was gurgle. So I sat there in me highchair, thinking one day, looking at me tray and thinking what I'd give for a meal on there. So I started looking round to see what I could have. I was rubbing me eggy soldier in me head, trying to think, and then I looked in the corner and there's a little breadbin with its mouth open, just staring at me, like. And then I looked in and I saw bread.

 

I thought, oh yeah, I'll have toast,

A little piece of toast.

 

Well, then I started getting older,

I hated this, I hated that,

Expensive state was ludicrous

And cafés couldn't cater for the finer things in life:

The upper crust was not for me,

I could tell that.

So I'd go back home,

Switch the kitchen light on,

Put the grill on,

Slip a slice under

 

And have toast,

A little piece of toast.

 

'Cos there's so much to choose from.

There's brown bread, white bread,

All sorts of wholemeal bread;

It comes in funny packages

With writing on the side,

But it doesn't matter which one you have

'Cos when you cut the crusts off,

Have it with marmalade

Or butter, cheese, tomatoes, beans,

Banana

Or chocolate if you're strange,

It doesn't really matter.

 

Oh no, it all goes with toast,

Just toast.

 

I'm gonna think about it some...

 

That's toast, mmm yeah,

Just toast,

That's toast,

Just toast.

 

Well I go down the supermarket

With me basket in me hand,

I'm walking from one counter to another

Trying to find the bread stall,

But I can't find it anywhere

And then I bump into a mother

With a baby in a basket

And she says

 

'Oh look, you've started him off again,

I come down here for a little bit of peace and quiet

To get some bread to go home to make toast,

Just toast,

I like toast'

Yeah, but I don't half like toast.

 

OK, scrape that toast, boys.

 

That's toast,

Yeah, just toast.

 

[spoken]

I can't think about it any more. I've got to go and have some, it's no good. Here listen, I'm getting a bit browned off standing here. Me too. Shall we go and have some toast? Good idea. Why not? OK. I've got the grill on. Got any brown bread? Yeah! Have you got wholemeal bread? Wheatmeal bread? All sorts of toast. Let's go... (They proceed to make toast, accompanied by various kitchen noises.)

[Mendoza]

Barbara Streisand

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

 

Barbara Streisand

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

 

Barbara Streisand

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

Barbara Streisand

[Redder Lurtz]

A lot of anguish and pent-up hatred in those four words!

 

I keep hearing it on the radio AoT. It must be on pay per play or some shit. The riff and everything else is decent but his stupid voice singing those utterly ridiculous lyrics really pumps my nad.

[Rapey Hugh]

" I'm afraid to see a ghost,

It's something I fear most,

I'd rather eat a piece of toast"

 

"Life" by Gabrielle(I think?)

Powerful stuff, says it all really

[Mendoza]

" I'm afraid to see a ghost,

It's something I fear most,

I'd rather eat a piece of toast"

 

"Life" by Gabrielle(I think?)

Powerful stuff, says it all really

 

Post #14.

[Rapey Hugh]

Forgive my mongish failure.

[The Flâneur]

Take Up Thy Stethoscope and Walk - Pink Floyd

 

Doctor doctor!

I'm in bed

Achin' head

Gold is lead

Choke on bread

Underfed

Gold is lead

Jesus bled

Pain is red

Are goon

Grow go

Greasy spoon

You swoon

June bloom

 

Music seems to help the pain

Seems to cultivate the brain.

Doctor kindly tell your wife that

I'm alive - flowers thrive - realize - realize

Realize.

 

One of many from a band never happier than when spouting student-like, English melancholy.

[SCOUSE TAPAS]

Another from the mind of Sid Barret

 

"The Gnome"

 

 

I want to tell you a story

About a little man

If I can.

A gnome named Grimble Grumble.

And little gnomes stay in their homes.

Eating, sleeping, drinking their wine.

He wore a scarlet tunic,

A blue green hood,

It looked quite good.

He had a big adventure

Amidst the grass

Fresh air at last.

Wining, dining, biding his time.

And then one day - hooray!

Another way for gnomes to say

Hoooooooooray.

Look at the sky, look at the river

Isn't it good?

Look at the sky, look at the river

Isn't it good?

Winding, finding places to go.

And then one day - hooray!

Another way for gnomes to say

Hoooooooooray.

Hooooooooooooooray

[Evelyn Tentions]

"Cheer Down"

"When your teeth drop out

You'll get by even without taking a bite

If your dog should be dead

I'm gonna love you instead"

 

G. Harrison, late of this Parish

[Carvalho Diablo]

Kerb Crawler by Hawkwind

 

 

Single Mesh Gearbox

Overhead Cam

Mohair motorised wolf

L-L-L-L-Looking for lambs

 

Power-Assisted Steering

8-Track Stereo

Leopard Skin Upholstery

FM Radio

 

Kerb Crawler

White side walls with grooves

Kerb Crawler

So fast he hardly moves

Kerb Crawler

He really approves of

Your high heels clicking

Like a pair of cloven hooves

 

Excuse Me Lady

Are you looking for a lift?

I ain't going nowhere special

I'm just out on the drift

I'll take you anywhere you want

Drop you outside your door

I might drive us down the Autobahn

With my foot right to the floor

 

Fandago insect in the skyscraper shade

He's a night-city mantis

In the neon parade

 

Come on, come on

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

A song called "Blinded by the light" has a line in it that reads "reved up like a deuce and the runner in the night"....."reved up like a deuce"? Classic song too..

 

Most annoyingly in-accurate is by some shite call i think its "Wom Wom" (Welsh sounding dance song that failed to do anything, but gets played in my gym) and a line in it goes "after a dozen bottles of rum......etc etc"....."Dozen bottles of Rum....."...erm youd be dead!