The "only in America" thread...

[SammyAftershave]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

Last night Americans elected three men who have recently been indicted, the author of pornographic works about Bigfoot, and a dead pimp.

Isn't it said you get the Government you deserve?

[Trumo]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

Last night Americans elected three men who have recently been indicted, the author of pornographic works about Bigfoot, and a dead pimp.

 

9 minutes ago, SammyAftershave said:

Isn't it said you get the Government you deserve?

 

Maybe they were all Evangelicals too. As long as you pretend to care about Jeebus and show hatred of other faiths, the people will let anything slide.

[Dougie Do'ins]

People fleeing this fire in California.

 

 

 

[Oh Buoy]

 

I'd have just stayed in the tunnel.

[Section_31]

When you watch vids like that, or hear about Australians getting their dicks bitten off by blue ringed octopuses or some shit, it makes you glad you were born in England, where the very worst thing that ever happens is someone doesn't replace the handwash in the gent's bogs. 

[Oh Buoy]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

When you watch vids like that, or hear about Australians getting their dicks bitten off by blue ringed octopuses or some shit, it makes you glad you were born in England, where the very worst thing that ever happens is someone doesn't replace the handwash in the gent's bogs. 

Or someone leaves without washing their hands and the handles dead small so you have to decide whether you want knob skin on your hands or wait until someone else needs the bog. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

When you watch vids like that, or hear about Australians getting their dicks bitten off by blue ringed octopuses or some shit, it makes you glad you were born in England, where the very worst thing that ever happens is someone doesn't replace the handwash in the gent's bogs. 

 I seen a staffy of it's lead once. 

[Bjornebye]

 

This apparently aired on Fox News and is a real thing. 

[Dougie Do'ins]

BBC News - US judge says parents owe son over trashed porn collection

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-55370919

[Sugar Ape]

@TheHowieLama get your username changed to ‘Spuds’ asap. 
 

 

[easytoslip]

Gravy with biscuits. 

[Remmie]

7 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

@TheHowieLama get your username changed to ‘Spuds’ asap. 
 

 

Favourite is a toss up between handsome Eddy, Mormon bar and Free soil

[A Red]

My brother in law in San Diego was showing me his new bog yesterday, it lights up blue and has a gadget attached to blow water jets up his arse at different settings.

[Anubis]

Believer in Jesus...

[TheHowieLama]

13 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

@TheHowieLama get your username changed to ‘Spuds’ asap. 
 

 

Plethora of options in West Virginia

There is a town there named Odd.

[Captain Turdseye]

Ah. West Virginia. 
 

On 29/07/2019 at 09:29, Captain Turdseye said:

Whenever I hear someone on TV say West Virginia I have to shout “West Virginia” as if I’m singing that song. It can get awkward if it’s a news piece and they say it four or five times in a minute but I’m deeply committed to it. My bird thinks I’m a knob. 

I’m still doing this. 

[VladimirIlyich]

8 hours ago, A Red said:

My brother in law in San Diego was showing me his new bog yesterday, it lights up blue and has a gadget attached to blow water jets up his arse at different settings.

Where can Stig buy one?

[Chocoholic]

This is from back in the 40s or 50s, from the guy who invented corn flakes, with a viable explanation of that, too, from the journalist who's retweeted this.

 

 

[Bjornebye]

On 31/12/2020 at 10:07, A Red said:

My brother in law in San Diego was showing me his new bog yesterday, it lights up blue and has a gadget attached to blow water jets up his arse at different settings.

 

On 31/12/2020 at 18:31, VladimirIlyich said:

Where can Stig buy one?

@A Red waiting mate? 

[A Red]

On 03/01/2021 at 23:23, Bjornebye said:

 

@A Red waiting mate? 

Never one to disappoint

 

https://biobidet.com/collections/products/products/discovery-dls

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, A Red said:

Never one to disappoint

 

https://biobidet.com/collections/products/products/discovery-dls

Out of rep. 

 

Although I think I'll hang on a few years for the 3 sea-shells 

[TheHowieLama]

 

[Sugar Ape]

 

[neko]

Was just going to post the same.

 

Here is the entire thing with a follow up after resigning....

 

COLORADO CITY, Texas — Colorado City Mayor Tom Boyd has resigned.

Boyd acknowledged the resignation Tuesday afternoon while responding to criticism he received for a controversial Facebook post.

Tuesday morning, Boyd voiced his frustrations about residents who he said called him to complain about power and water outages.

"If you don’t have electricity, you step up and come up with a game plan to keep your family warm and safe," Boyd said. "Get off your ass and take care of your own family!"

 

Tuesday afternoon, Boyd posted another message.

"I would never want to hurt the elderly or anyone that is in true need of help to be left to fend for themselves," said Boyd. "I was only making the statement that those folks that are too lazy to get up and fend for themselves but are capable should not be dealt a handout. I apologize for the wording and some of the phrases that were used!"

Boyd said he had already turned in his resignation and did not file a ballot application to run in May.

"Please understand, if I had it to do over again, I would have just kept my words to myself and if I did say them I would have used better wording and been more descriptive," said Boyd.

Full text from original post

No one owes you or your family anything; nor is it the local governments responsibility to support you during trying times like this! Sink or swim, it’s your choice! The City and County, along with power providers or any other service owes you NOTHING! I’m sick and tired of people looking for a damn hand out! If you don’t have electricity you step up and come up with a game plan to keep your family warm and safe. If you have no water you deal with out and think outside of the box to survive and supply water to your family. If you were sitting at home in the cold because you have no power and are sitting there waiting for someone to come rescue you because your lazy is direct result of your raising! Only the strong will survive and the week will perish. Folks, God Has given us the tools to support ourselves in times like this. This is sadly a product of a socialist government where they feed people to believe that the FEW work and others will become dependent for handouts. Am I sorry that you have been dealing without electricity and water; yes! But I’ll be damned if I’m going to provide for anyone that is capable of doing it themselves! We have lost sight of those in need and those that take advantage of the system and mesh them into one group!! Bottom line, quit crying and looking for a handout! Get off your ass and take care of your own family!

Bottom line - DON’T BE A PART OF A PROBLEM, BE A PART OF THE SOLUTION!

Full text from second post

All, I have set back and watched all this escalating and have tried to keep my mouth shut! I won’t deny for one minute what I said in my post this morning. Believe me when I say that many of the things I said were taken out of context and some of which were said without putting much thought in to it. I would never want to hurt the elderly or anyone that is in true need of help to be left to fend for themselves. I was only making the statement that those folks that are too lazy to get up and fend for themselves but are capable should not be dealt a handout. I apologize for the wording and some of the phrases that were used! I had already turned in my resignation and had not signed up to run for mayor again on the deadline that was February 12th! I spoke some of this out of the anger that the city and county was catching for situations which were out of their control. Please understand if I had it to do over again I would have just kept my words to myself and if I did say them I would have used better wording and been more descriptive.

The anger and harassment you have caused my wife and family is so undeserved....my wife was laid off of her job based off the association people gave to her and the business she worked for. She’s a very good person and was only defending me! But her to have to get fired from her job over things I said out of context is so horrible. I admit, there are things that are said all the time that I don’t agree with; but I would never harass you or your family to the point that they would lose there livelihood such as a form of income.

I ask that you each understand I never meant to speak for the city of Colorado City or Mitchell county! I was speaking as a citizen as I am NOT THE MAYOR anymore. I apologize for the wording and ask that you please not harass myself or my family anymore!

Threatening our lives with comments and messages is a horrible thing to have to wonder about. I won’t share any of those messages from those names as I feel they know who they are and hope after they see this they will retract the hateful things they have said!

Thank you

Tim Boyd(citizen)

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

2 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

 

 

We the people need to shoe this cunt to death