You know you've been riding the forum too long when...

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

When someone complains to you about some cunt, and you say "hmm, you should definitely piss in a crisp packet and throw it at them" and are met with a worried stare.

[Sugar Ape]

My phone autocorrect has just changed the word ‘robbed’ to ‘robbief’. 
 

* shakes head *

[Karl_b]

Pretty sure I've said it before on this thread but I find it very hard to resist the overwhelming urge to say "never heard of the cunt" when someone mentions some famous blert that apparently I should know of. That and advising people to either "cunt them in the bastard" or "set their house on fire as a warning" as idle threats. 

 

This place has made me.

[VladimirIlyich]

10 hours ago, Karl_b said:

Pretty sure I've said it before on this thread but I find it very hard to resist the overwhelming urge to say "never heard of the cunt" when someone mentions some famous blert that apparently I should know of. That and advising people to either "cunt them in the bastard" or "set their house on fire as a warning" as idle threats. 

 

This place has made me.

I bet 'setting their house on fire as a warning' is where you see a business opportunity.

[Numero Veinticinco]

I use ‘cunt them in the bastard’ all the time.

[YorkshireRed]

When you find yourself sitting on the toilet mulling over the relative merits of a number of posters and wondering what they’d be like in real life.

 

Are they nicer in real life?

More cunt like in real life?

Less/more articulate/bombastic?

Do they really care as much as they say they do about the inclusion of beans on a breakfast? (If they don’t they blinking well should)

 

Fortunately, at my age, I can be on the toilet for a good while so plenty of time to create back stories that work for me. 

[sir roger]

14 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

When you find yourself sitting on the toilet mulling over the relative merits of a number of posters and wondering what they’d be like in real life.

 

Are they nicer in real life?

More cunt like in real life?

Less/more articulate/bombastic?

Do they really care as much as they say they do about the inclusion of beans on a breakfast? (If they don’t they blinking well should)

 

Fortunately, at my age, I can be on the toilet for a good while so plenty of time to create back stories that work for me. 

I am a complete cunt in real life , YR , hope that helps your ablutions.

[lifetime fan]

On 27/06/2020 at 10:50, Sugar Ape said:

My phone autocorrect has just changed the word ‘robbed’ to ‘robbief’. 
 

* shakes head *

Mine changes bitch to Bitch. 

[Champ]

On 27/06/2020 at 23:03, Karl_b said:

Pretty sure I've said it before on this thread but I find it very hard to resist the overwhelming urge to say "never heard of the cunt" when someone mentions some famous blert that apparently I should know of. 

Me too. Which is a bit awkward 

[Jairzinho]

Had a problem with my HBO account a few weeks ago and had to resist the urge to fire off an email saying "Give me my member money back, you cunt"

[Remmie]

16 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Mine changes bitch to Bitch. 

Mine changes 'Baby Keith' to 'Naby Keita' and 'ice cream' to 'cunt him in the bastard'. 

[Section_31]

Was picking the Mrs up from work and she'd just done parents evening. She was going on about one of the Latvian kids' mums.

 

"You should see her she's so pretty, she looks like a model".

 

Was very, very close to saying "pics or GTFO." 

[redinblack]

I use the phrase "Thundercunt".

 

I'm sure I heard it here first.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Mrs O'T told me yesterday that she'd looked at my stats and I've averaged 9.4 posts a day for nearly 15 years.

 

I've wasted my life.

[Section_31]

4 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Mrs O'T told me yesterday that she'd looked at my stats and I've averaged 9.4 posts a day for nearly 15 years.

 

I've wasted my life.

 

I've never really known how to broach the topic of TLW with the Mrs.

 

"Why are you always on your phone?"

 

"I'm talking to my internet friends about toilet habits, baldness, politics and occasionally football. I've been doing it since I was 26."

 

"Oh right."

[Karl_b]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

 

I've never really known how to broach the topic of TLW with the Mrs.

 

"Why are you always on your phone?"

 

"I'm talking to my internet friends about toilet habits, baldness, politics and occasionally football. I've been doing it since I was 26."

 

"Oh right."

I'm unashamedly open about my TLW habits and history with the wife. Firstly, it's lead to me finding out about all sorts of interesting stuff that I may not otherwise have done. Secondly, I've met and made friends with people from here and she's met them too - she didn't find it too weird that we met with RiS in Stockholm and theghost and CrouchieBoy in Seattle, in fact quite the opposite. The Prof sent us a wonderful baby gift for goodness sake, this place is life enhancing and she knows it (not SKI herself).

[Section_31]

1 minute ago, Karl_b said:

I'm unashamedly open about my TLW habits and history with the wife. Firstly, it's lead to me finding out about all sorts of interesting stuff that I may not otherwise have done. Secondly, I've met and made friends with people from here and she's met them too - she didn't find it too weird that we met with RiS in Stockholm and theghost and CrouchieBoy in Seattle, in fact quite the opposite. The Prof sent us a wonderful baby gift for goodness sake, this place is life enhancing and she knows it (not SKI herself).

Yeah I've told my Mrs I'm on here but she doesn't really get the significance of the place to me, she just thinks it's like a LFC social media thing. 

 

She's sound and she wouldn't think it was odd, but she doesn't 'get' social media at all in general, she's not on Facebook or anything. It's fascinating actually, she sees her friends 'in real life' far more than I do, and I think that's why. Social media can dupe you into feel connected in some ways, but it's not the same as going for a brew or a pint.  

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I'm 10 years older than my bird, the very last thing I need her knowing is that I spent most of the time when I was her current age posting on the internet to Wools and trying to climb the rep chart.

[Strontium]

7 hours ago, redinblack said:

I use the phrase "Thundercunt".

 

I'm sure I heard it here first.

 

Pretty sure the first time I heard it was on Blade 3.

 

Not trying to one-up anyone as quite frankly I regret wasting 2 hours of my life watching that film.

[Preston Red]

8 minutes ago, Strontium said:

 

Pretty sure the first time I heard it was on Blade 3.

 

Not trying to one-up anyone as quite frankly I regret wasting 2 hours of my life watching that film.

Not that I heard "Thundercunt" on Blade 3 but I concur about Blade 3. It was chronic.

[redinblack]

31 minutes ago, Strontium said:

 

Pretty sure the first time I heard it was on Blade 3.

 

Not trying to one-up anyone as quite frankly I regret wasting 2 hours of my life watching that film.

Never seen it. Never will.

[Karl_b]

7 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

I'm 10 years older than my bird, the very last thing I need her knowing is that I spent most of the time when I was her current age posting on the internet to Wools and trying to climb the rep chart.

Repped.

[Captain Turdseye]

9 hours ago, Section_31 said:

 

I've never really known how to broach the topic of TLW with the Mrs.

 

"Why are you always on your phone?"

 

"I'm talking to my internet friends about toilet habits, baldness, politics and occasionally football. I've been doing it since I was 26."

 

"Oh right."

 

My missus knew “The Forum” or “The GF” was part of my life before we’d even met. 
 

We were texting/talking on the phone for months before we met and I’d occasionally share the odd thing from here that had me pissing myself. 
 

She even spoke to Simon on the phone while me and him were bladdered in Warrington a couple of weeks before we met in person, and it still didn’t put her off. 

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

My missus knew “The Forum” was part of my life before we’d even met. 
 

We were texting/talking on the phone for months before we met and I’d occasionally share the odd things from here that had me pissing myself. 
 

She even spoke to Simon on the phone while me and him were bladdered in Warrington a couple of weeks before we met in person, and it still didn’t put her off. 

I do recall you saying she thought we was a pair of sad cunts during the Score Hero! Phase.

[Captain Turdseye]

Just now, Elite said:

I do recall you saying she thought we was a pair of sad cunts during the Score Hero! Phase.

It was true, to be fair.